Welcome home, Schitt's Creek fans.
After months of waiting, the sixth season of this beloved comedy has arrived — but for our friends at the Rosebud Motel, it's only been a week since we saw them last, recent enough that Alexis is still packing for her Galapagos trip and Stevie is still wearing her stage makeup from the closing night of Cabaret. (If you're not caught up yet, first of all where have you been, that finale was amazing; but don't worry, all the previous seasons are now on Netflix.)
As David and Patrick look at wedding venues and get roped into driving Alexis to the airport while they're at it, Johnny coaxes Moira through her grieving process over the cancellation of her movie The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening — a process that involves an entire "Having a Week-Long Emotional Breakdown in the Closet" wig ensemble, because Moira Rose may be a mess but she still has style.
In no particular order, here are the top moments from this week's episode.
Moira's stay in the closet comes to a dramatic end when a small fire breaks out next door, and she's trapped inside as the room fills with smoke. She's carried to safety (along with her wig collection) by mayor and motel employee Roland Schitt, who caused the whole thing with a Toaster Pops mishap — and god bless Chris Elliott, but I will never not want to hit Roland over the head with a magazine.
Important side-note here: ever since the Season 5 finale, whenever people would pester the cast for hints about how the show will end, one of their go-to responses was "Oh, the motel burns down! They all die in a fire!" Very funny, you guys. (But really, that kind of setup takes patience and dedication and you have to respect that.)
Afterwards, in a moment of clarity, Moira tells Johnny she's ready to walk away from an entertainment industry that's been cruel to her for so many years, and start living her life to the fullest right where she is. The barely-contained joy on Johnny's face kind of gets me, especially with what happens later in the episode. I think the looming "will they leave Schitt's Creek" question might affect him harder than we're ready for.
Meanwhile, David (wearing Alexander McQueen culottes, if you're curious), Patrick, Alexis, and a very hung-over Stevie visit a beautiful manor out in the countryside. The owner assumes Patrick and Stevie are the ones getting married, which is so heteronormative, Clive — but then he kinda makes up for it by deciding Alexis and Stevie are a couple, even after David and Patrick introduce themselves as the grooms-to-be. The girls don't seem all that bothered by it, either.
It is pretty fun to watch Alexis and Stevie interacting in this episode. Annie Murphy and Emily Hampshire have great chemistry, and their scenes together reveal some intriguing things about each character — particularly that Stevie envies Alexis for her adventurous spirit, and that Alexis still isn't sure that leaving to be with her boyfriend is the right decision.
But it turns out the trip will have to wait another month, because international jet-setter Alexis still reads dates European-style and got the month and day of her flight mixed up. (She also thinks flight attendants hand out slippers and free mimosas in Economy, which is adorable, even though I just had to fly Spirit Airlines like a week ago.)
Schitt's Creek wouldn't be Schitt's Creek without David and Alexis irritating each other with laser-like precision, and this episode doesn't disappoint. Alexis keeps loudly mentioning how she can't wait to leave for her vacation with Ted, while David—in full Bridezilla mode, naturally—excludes her from wedding planning and acts like he couldn't care less if he gets married without her.
In the end Stevie and Patrick intervene and force them to make up, and though David only gets as far as being "remorseful over an action I participated in" and Alexis shamelessly tries to play off her ticket mixup as an act of generosity so David can book the venue, they finally admit they're going to miss each other.
The venue turns out to be a moot point, however, because the idyllic farm next door is scheduled to noisily slaughter its pigs on the only available day. Can't wait to see what PETA does with that.
Seemingly committed to her new lease on life, Moira asks Johnny to take her on a romantic picnic. We finally get to see the actual creek the town is named after, and it's far too pretty to deserve the name; I was expecting a drainage ditch or something. The secluded spot gets them reminiscing about a wellness retreat in the French Alps, and Moira is living so much in the moment that she suggests they go skinny dipping.
But as we learned last season, romantic picnics rarely go according to plan in Schitt's Creek. Moira steps away to officially end things with her agent, only to find out that the Crows movie is back on. (The movie was picked up by a streaming service called "Interflix," and if this entire Crows storyline is going to be a cheeky shoutout to Netflix, then I support it 150 percent.) Her old desire for fame comes rushing back, and in the meantime Johnny gets stuck in the creek and busted for indecent exposure by a police officer who happened to be fishing nearby. Overall, not his day.
Anyone with a secret "Eugene Levy as Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy coming out of the lake" fantasy can go ahead and check that one off. (Good for you!) Personally, I'm enjoying the fact that Dan Levy has openly admitted that his father hates getting his hair wet, and Dan writes scenes like this into the show on purpose just to be annoying. Family is so important.
The Roses and Patrick wrap up the day with a barbecue at the Rosebud Motel — a throwback to a similar scene in Season 4 that ended in disaster when Patrick's secret ex-fiancée Rachel showed up. This gathering is much nicer, largely because Johnny isn't useless with the grill anymore, which means he's been having family cookouts to his heart's content lately. (See what I mean? Somebody hug him.)
As Moira fills everyone in on the Crows movie and Alexis adjusts her travel plans, Patrick whispers a suggestion to David: what if they skipped the fancy venue and got married right there at the motel, under a tent strung with lights? "This place means something to you guys," he says. "You could make it beautiful." David says he'll think about it.
It's such a lovely daydream of an idea that I find myself worrying that it could slip away from them, just like Moira's picnic by the creek. Don't get too worried, though — this family has been through too much together to lose their way for long.