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Lesbian Mother Stalked by Sperm Donor


SpermDonorx390 (Screengrab) | Advocate.com

The case of a California mother pressured to give joint custody of her child to a sperm donor she met online illustrates the legal challenges facing families at the forefront of reproductive technologies.

ABC News reports on the situation faced by Karen B., a Los Angeles writer who met her baby’s biological father on Craigslist and proceeded to make the kind of casual parenting agreement common between mothers and known sperm donors.

“After connecting on the Internet, she and the donor, Daniel C., signed a layman's agreement that the child would live with Karen and she would make all parenting decisions,” reports ABC News. “He would have some visitation rights.”

However, Karen found that Daniel, who is gay, tried to push himself into her and her partner’s life as her pregnancy progressed. He told the doctor that he was Karen’s husband, and insisted that Karen obtain a passport for the baby so that he could visit Daniel’s native Brazil. He sued for joint legal and physical custody when she refused.

“The case also raises questions not only about whether sperm donors have parental rights, but what is best for the child now that reproductive technologies are creating new kinds of families,” reports ABC News.

In July, the Superior Court in Santa Monica rejected Daniel’s claims under the California Sperm Donor Statute, ruling that even though his name is on the birth certificate, semen used for artificial insemination or vitro fertilization for a woman other than the donor’s wife is not legally the natural father.

Karen spent $60,000 in legal fees, and she continues to worry that Daniel could kidnap the baby to Brazil during monthly visits.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Jazz
    Date posted: 9/20/2010 4:57:10 AM
    Hometown: Germany

    Comment:

    Wow did you by any chance forget that some lesbians DONT sleep with men? Not sleeping, seducing, or straight sex is not used between real lesbians. This peson should have visited a sperm bank, they have strict rules when it comes to the sperm donations.

  • Name: warren
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 9:40:31 PM
    Hometown: NYC

    Comment:

    I don't mean to be an ass but a sperm donor from Craig's List... Really??? I wouldn't even get a BJ from someone on CL no less have a child!

  • Name: Keeping My Word
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 9:02:35 PM
    Hometown: Earth

    Comment:

    I've been a donor, and am still a donor. I've 'sold' my 'spare parts' to and for those who needed them. The offspring are morally, spiritually, legally, financially and physically in the care, custody and love of the parent/parents who chose and love them. I made sure that all agreements were legally enforceable, including not EVER revealing the identity of the donor parent (me) or the the child/children.

  • Name: Brandon
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 7:42:41 PM
    Hometown: Baltimore

    Comment:

    And why conceiving needs to always remain anonymous... I've been offered "I'd carry a baby for you" but uh... carry would be it not donate! lol I love the women for offering to me, this is what I'd be trying to avoid though.

  • Name: Jack
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 6:53:01 PM
    Hometown: San Francisco

    Comment:

    Has neither of these two nitwits ever heard about hiring an attorney?

  • Name: Les
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 5:53:35 PM
    Hometown: Miami

    Comment:

    I don't understand the title of this article. Where is the information regarding the alleged "stalking"? Is this guy waiting outside their house, following the couple everywhere? Calling multiple times per day to harass them? Showing up at their places of work? And if so, is there a restraining order to stop the alleged "stalking"? From the details I see here, it seems that the parties had a disagreement about his rights (or lack thereof); there were hard feelings; he sued; he lost. How does this become stalking? Perhaps, this isn't the full story?

  • Name: CountryBoy
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 2:18:54 PM
    Hometown: MO

    Comment:

    @Thomas; I would agree, IF the donor is 'anonymous'. In this case, however, she specifically selected this guy who knew, full well, what he was doing. The 'parental rights' issue is therefore muddied. @Jared; Your point about the courts acting in the opposite if SHE was suing is right on. They almost invariably side with the mom. It may be that, having gotten this woman pregnant; this man decided that since he was to be a 'father', he wanted to be a presence in the childs life. This whole matter could/should have been avoided by simply having the terms CLEARLY spelled out in the agreement; before conception took place. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

  • Name: Thomas
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 2:00:36 PM
    Hometown: Fort Worth

    Comment:

    It shouldn't matter what kind of agreement they made. To donate sperm you have to sign a form saying that you waive any parental rights to the resulting child, if any.

  • Name: Jared
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 12:19:31 PM
    Hometown: Orlando

    Comment:

    If he had abided by the agreement and instead SHE decided to sue him for child support, the court would have ruled the complete opposite and declared him the natural father. It's men who really need to be more careful in these agreements. The law will always be biased to the mother's side no matter if her claims are fair or ridiculous.

  • Name: CountryBoy
    Date posted: 9/14/2010 10:30:52 AM
    Hometown: MO

    Comment:

    It SOUNDS as if the 'agreement' Karen had with the donor was TOO informal. They should have spelled out exactly what, if any, 'rights' the man would have after the baby was born. I assume there is no emotional; attachment to the man. He simply provided the means for Karen to conceive. Had she consulted an attorney, first, she might have saved herself the trouble she is now experiencing. I hope this all works out to the childs benefit.



 
 
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