This week in Best Tweets: Shia LeBeouf retires, Liz Cheney has second thoughts about destroying her family, Chris Christie crawls under a bridge, and it turns out Jenny McCarthy isn't a doctor!
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Fox News now celebrating the Christie administration's 132nd day without creating a purposeful traffic jam.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 9, 2014
Very disappointed to learn that Chris Christie is the first Republican to ever shut something down because he didn't get his way.
— Aaron Burdette (@AaronBurdette) January 9, 2014
I hope Chris Christie apologizes in skywriting.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 9, 2014
Both of Dick Cheney's daughters are out.
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) January 6, 2014
Hoping the serious Cheney family health issue isn't the result of Liz throwing Mary under the bus.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 6, 2014
Shia LaBeouf says he's "retiring from all public life." Great, now he's stealing from J.D. Salinger.
— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) January 10, 2014
Jenny McCarthy is changing her position on vaccines. I guess this is why no one's ever shouted, "Is there a Jenny McCarthy in the house?"
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) January 4, 2014
If one more person asks me how my holidays were, I SWEAR TO GOD I'm gonna say "Fine" then politely ask how theirs were.
— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) January 7, 2014
How long until Coors Light comes out with the Polar Vortex can?
— Eminence Front (@tweetcomedian) January 6, 2014
If you can't handle me at my "Do What U Want [feat. R. Kelly]," you don't deserve me at my "Do What U Want [feat. Christina Aguilera]"
— Sam Lansky (@samlansky) January 6, 2014