At one point in trans activist, influencer, singer, actor, and now author Dylan Mulvaney’s new memoir, our intrepid heroine is in South America, high as a satellite on ayahuasca, when she learns the purpose of her life.
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Over the last several years, Mulvaney, 28, has been on one strange trip after another. In 2022, she came out publicly on her very popular TikTok channel. Just one year later, she was experiencing exciting highs, like interviewing then-President Joe Biden, and devastating lows, like becoming the target of a right-wing hate campaign.
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All of that, and more, is in Mulvaney’s first book, titled Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer, which released today.
In it, Mulvaney chronicles her life during her first 365 “Days of Girlhood” (the name of her TikTok series and campy pop single) through journal entries, but also writes essays about the days leading up to, during, and after her famous Bud Light incident.
In the spring of 2023, Mulvaney became the number one target of American conservatives for a few months after she made a promotional video drinking the beer. The idea that Bud Light would partner with a trans woman led to a nationwide boycott of the brand that lost its status as the top-selling beer in America for the first time in 20 years.
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Both the journal entries and the essays lay bare Mulvaney’s emotions, insecurities, and darkest thoughts, but hope shines through it all.
“I think that I am an optimist to the craziest extent,” she says, “But I think that my earnestness has kept me alive and it’s what keeps me going… I actually think optimism is the coolest thing in the world. And I think the reason that I am around is because I surround myself with people who are wildly optimistic.”
Her writing has an animated wit and comedic bluntness similar to some of her comedy memoir heroes like Chelsea Handler and Amy Poehler. That wit and bluntness serve her especially well when writing about the darker times in her life, something she didn’t even realize she’d be doing when she pitched the book.
Mulvaney got the book deal within her first 200 days of girlhood and was originally planning on it being only the journal entries. But once “Beergate,” as she calls it, happened, she knew she had to include the essays as well.
“It ended up being very cathartic and very healing because I think I got to share parts of my relationship to that time and to the media in a way that I didn’t feel safe to online, and in a way that felt very vulnerable,” she says. “And I think had I just released a book that was only related to those 365 days, I don’t think it would have been the right thing, at least not right now with what’s happening in the world when it comes to trans people.”
Mulvaney puts a lot of value in doing whatever she can to help the trans community that was there for her as she transitioned (the book includes a particularly hilarious account of how she learned to tuck from another trans woman).
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Part of that can be explained by the section in her book where Mulvaney is on an ayahuasca trip (“I feel like some people see me as this very buttoned up, squeaky clean person,” she says, “but I’m actually pretty weird and wacky.”) and has a vision where she’s told her purpose in life is to be a mother. She’s told she’s meant to be a mother not just to her own children but to queer youth who look up to her. It’s a tall order for someone who came out less than five years ago and has yet to turn 30.
While she sometimes struggles to believe that she’s a role model, when she thinks about her younger self, who didn’t have many people to look up to, she understands.
“If I could be that for someone, I think it’s a hundred percent worth it, and I’m honored,” she smiles. “The first time I heard the term ‘mother’ [applied to me], I thought, ‘Oh, my God, are they calling me old?’ But, no, apparently, it’s a compliment.”
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“The people that I grew up with that mothered me are Lady Gaga and Chris Colfer, and Fran Fine on The Nanny, and Charlotte York on Sex and the City,” she adds. “If I can be a part of someone’s mother Rolodex, sign me up, I’m in.”
While Mulvaney’s embracing her role as mother, she’s also a young woman who wants to live her best life.
“I’m in my 20s. I think it would be a disservice to young people to try to put on an overly polished aesthetic and way of living all the time,” she says. “I want them to know that they can make mistakes and that they can grow and evolve and change. I mean, over the past three years of my transition now, I have changed a thousand times over. And I hope that that doesn’t stop. And I hope that that’s also something that the younger generation can take, that they can always keep changing, too.”
That youthful exuberance mixes well with one mom skill Mulvaney definitely has: the ability to multitask.
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While getting her hair done and wardrobe fitted for The Advocate cover shoot, she manages conversations about Lady Gaga’s newest song, the Grammys, and trans films, scheduling her appearances and content for the next week, and singing and dancing along with the playlist that’s booming over the speakers.
As much as she loves staying busy, which she says helps keep her from getting “lost in the dark” in times like these, Mulvaney knows the value of enjoying her flowers while she has them.
“So often I feel like I’m jumping to the next thing, but I’m hoping with this book coming out, I can live in the pride and joy of what feels like my baby going out into the world,” she says. “I’m mothering this book, honey.”
Cover Shoot Crew:
Talent: Dylan Mulvaney @dylanmulvaney
Photographer: Jon Stars @jonstars
Photography Assistant: Mike Taveira @miketaveira
Stylist: Annie Easton @annieleaston; @annieandnora
Stylist Assisant: Madalyn @gonemad_vintage
Hair: Angelina Panelli @angelinapanelli
Makeup: Armando Kole @kole_mua
Video: Miguel Torres @mtrider91
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