Hot Sheet: Week of July 19

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- G-Force: In sixth grade our class had a pet guinea pig named Cecil. It would be nice to report that he, like the creatures in this film, was heavily digitized, could operate miniature automatic weapons, rappel down the sides of buildings, and stop crime. But instead, all Cecil did was run around on that little wheel and freeze to death over Christmas break when no one remembered to take him home.

- The Ugly Truth: Katherine Heigl thinks about love with her head. Gerard Butler thinks about love with his genitalia. Look, this isn't opinion, it's on the poster. And frankly, after seeing 27 Dresses, we're on Gerry's side.

- Orphan: Adoption tip: A kid with huge, evil eyebrows and sunken skull cheeks should probably not be your first choice when you're out shopping for a new child. They tend to be homicidal maniacs. They did a whole show about it on Maury Povich once, so it's kind of a scientific fact.