You know how we feel about naked Santas ruining childhood dreams. Must you make Halloween slutty too? Here are some examples from the recent past.
October 23 2014 4:00 AM EST
November 17 2015 5:28 AM EST
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Remember when you were little? You dressed up for Halloween, and maybe your grade school even had a special day with games and treats. There were some standard choices: witch, ghost, cowboy, or bride, and hobo. Except for dressing up in a mockery of the homeless, it was all so innocent. It was for the children.
Now, especially in balmy cities like West Hollywood, the gays have turned a charming tradition into an annual strip show of degradation. Less is more, apparently, with the very adult crowd that gathers on Santa Monica Boulevard and other events. Yes, some of them raise needed money for charities, but, mercy me, we have come a long way from a niced boxed gypsy outfit from College Costumes.
We want you to fully understand our dismay, so below some examples of Halloween exhibitionism. And it's not just the LGBTs any more -- the straight crowd has caught the need-to-be-nearly-nude fever as well!
Bert Lahr and Jack Haley have sure hit the gym. From last year's aptly named Halloweenie event.
History, worldview, and cultural identity are all transformed with the addition of abs. Thank goodness Miguel Angel Reyes is recording all this.
Angels and demon.
Miners will be served.
Hello Dirty Kitty. Thanks to Bloody Eyeballs at Flickr for this.
Yes, you are quite attractive, but are these really costumes?
Pussycat Dolls go to Halloweenie.
Vampires that come with their own floss for filthy fangs. Thanks to Bloody Eyeballs at Flickr for this.
The witch, ghost, and hobo have been replaced with Versace slave boys. From last year's Halloweenie event.
Have those shot glasses been thoroughly washed? And did you do it with your tongue?
Even the adorable Darryl Stephens can't help but expose his man-chests to common strangers at Halloweenie.
Just look the other way and keep walking. Don't encourage them.
So let me get this straight -- Alfred's into leather? Is that what you're saying? Thanks to Calvin Fleming at Flickr for this.
From Blue Man Grope, a new Vegas act. Thank you, Miguel Angel Reyes, for documenting this bit of showbiz pulchritude.
I'm feeling feverish. You may have to continue on your own way. I am just going to put my head between my knees for a bit. I may need a Snickers bar or something.
Fratboy/red cup/unicorn/disco/gypsy.
I suspect there are less-than-adequate foundation garments employed here.
Now see? These handsome young men -- including Chris Evans's brother Scott Evans, second from right -- created tasteful outfits that do not employ glittery nipples or unsupported genitals as a main focus point. I would allow my son to date any of these fine gentlemen attending Halloweenie last year.
One can only imagine the hours these young athletes spent delicately sponging each other with body makeup as they enjoyed cocktails and some Beyonce music on the hi-fi. Remember to get every nook and cranny!
Those pesky vampires. First they suck all your blood, then they take your belt.
We have no idea what this costume is but cannot stop staring at his undraped pockets.
That's right, Mr. Chicken. There is a certain amount of holiday nudity we just have to say cluck, cluck, cluck to.
Goldilocks shows off the benefits of a strict porridge diet.
See? Even young straight men have been dragged down into the slutty gutter by the gay conversion of Halloween into a lurid spectacle. If you see more exhibitionistic nudity at Halloween this year, please send your images here for us to review.