always been the lovesick boy who just wanted someone to show
affection for. And when I finally met that someone, I told
him. But it didn't go very well.
Standing in a grassy corner of the quad at
Franklin High School with some friends, I turned to
"Ricky" and finally said what had been on my
mind for a month: "I love you."
"What?" Ricky shouted, his eyes
opening wide and gleaming with shock. "I said
that I love you," I repeated, a little less coherently.
A couple of moments passed as I stood there
shaking, my eyes fixated on Ricky. He slouched over
and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Ah, ga-a-ag,
ah," he said, twisting and jumping like a top. I
started to sweat. I held in my breath. I glanced at my
other friends, who also just stood there, unable to
move or speak.
Ricky suddenly stopped his self-induced
seizures, and with his hand on his side, a twist in
his wrist, and a smile on his face he said, "Marvin,
do you even know what love is?"
"Of course I know what love is!" I
yelled angrily. My fists were tightly clenched, but my
eyes were starting to tear up. My throat was dry and my
voice was stuttering. "Marvin, you can see me gag,
right?" Ricky asked.
"Really, come on, what did you expect?"
"I didn't expect anything,"
I mumbled, lowering my head and staring at the concrete.
"You are exactly like the other gay guys
I've met," Ricky continued.
"You're such a drama queen."
I had my hands over my forehead, and I thought,
This can't be happening--this
can't be the Ricky that I fell in love with, can it?
He continued to laugh. I was about to cry, so I
turned around and quickly walked toward my next class.
That night I promised myself never to say those words
ever again. But I did, and I'm now happily in a
relationship with someone else.