For gay men of a certain age, Cher turning 80 means everything

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a younger friend after watching Cher absolutely nail her appearance on Saturday Night Live. She was brilliant, effortlessly Cher, the way she always is.

My friend, in his 30s, was dazzled. And I said, almost without thinking: “You know, I can remember watching her on The Sonny & Cher Show.” I got a blank stare as he asked, “Who is Sonny?” Talk about dating yourself.

For those who don’t know, The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour premiered on CBS in August 1971 and ran until May 1974, when the couple’s divorce brought it to a close. They reunited professionally in 1976 for The Sonny and Cher Show, which ran through 1977. I think it’s the latter one I remember.

Cher and her then-husband Sonny sang together, and then traded barbs with each other. He was short, she was tall. They seemed to be total opposites, but those two names went together like sunshine and happiness.

At the end of many episodes, I remember their daughter Chastity, now their son Chaz, would be brought out as the couple sang their signature song “I Got You, Babe.” It was one of those “Oh, how cute” moments. Mom and Dad are singing happily with their child.

That was more than 50 years ago. And Cher has been the soundtrack of my life ever since.

She followed me through “Moonstruck,” “If I Could Turn Back Time,” and “Song for the Lonely.” She followed me into the era of the Sony Walkman, yes, I was that guy, headphones on, Cher in my ears, while I was running.

She followed me into middle age and beyond. And then a couple of Christmases ago, there she was again. Cher released “DJ Play a Christmas Song” as the lead single from her 2023 album Christmas, and it became her first entry on the Billboard Hot 100 in 21 years, making her the only solo artist to have had a number-one song on at least one Billboard chart in each of the last seven decades.

I unabashedly love that song. And while we are at it, just wow, wow, wow to her rendition of “Run, Rudolph, Run.” She should have called the song “Run, John, Run!”

Yes, I listened to those songs almost on a loop during the holidays, but the other day, in 80+ degree warmth, I put them back on, and my pace picked up dramatically. It doesn’t have to be Christmas to listen to that song.

And here’s the thing. Next month, I turn 62, and I’m still running physically and metaphorically just like Cher. She turns 80 today, and that is remarkable to me, and even more remarkable that she’s still part of my life, in fact, significantly so.

I’ve been physically running for over 40 years, and I’m still doing it, thank God, and still logging lots of miles per week. And through all those years of pounding the pavement, Cher has been there for many of those steps.

Related: What it's like to be a gay man at 60

There she was on SNL, owning the stage, owning the room, owning the moment, and I sat there knowing that today, she would turn 80 years old. Eighty. It was mind-boggling. And it made me so proud of her. And, if I’m being honest, proud of myself too.

Life bounces you around in ways you never see coming. I’ve had serious health issues. I’ve struggled with mental health, real struggles, the kind that brought me to the edge three times in suicidal crises.

I’ve been laid off three times. I’ve lost so many loved ones close to me. I have had amazing ups and tragic downs, and long stretches when staying in the game felt less like a choice and more like an act of willful defiance. But here I am. Still running. Literally and figuratively.

Of course, Cher has the resources most of us can only dream about, the best medical care, the best trainers, the best plastic surgeons - I mean, seriously, the best. She’s probably got the best of everything. I understand that.

But resources alone don’t make you show up at 80. Will does. Discipline does. Refusing to let age be the final word does. And in that way, in the way that actually matters, she and I are running the same race. I don’t look too bad for all that wear and tear at 62; however, she just looks considerably better than all of us.

When you’re a gay man of a certain age, and you can remember Sonny and Cher because the two names went together, and then you watch her decades later, still fabulous, still performing, still cranking out hits, something in you feels zesty and invincible - even though that’s a real stretch considering everything.

Yet, Cher is proof. Proof that the number on the calendar doesn’t have to define the size of your life.

So today, on her 80th birthday, I want to say thank you, Cher. Thank you for not going quietly. Thank you for persevering through everything life threw at you and coming out the other side still rocking and rolling and still in the game, and still giving us a reason to turn your music on and up.

Thank you for being, without ever trying to be, a motivational force for a soon-to-be 62-year-old man in running shoes who knows better than anyone that still being here is its own kind of victory.

Here’s to 90, Cher, and in the meantime, keep on running, and I will too.

Opinion is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. We welcome your thoughts and feedback on any of our stories. Email us at voices@equalpride.com. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.