A life of two spirits  | First Person | Advocate.com

Advocate.com health Channel
||  First Person  ||
Comments (1)Post a CommentTag this page  
 
A life of two spirits
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a gay man and native American. We were once revered on the reservation. Can we find the same respect again?
An Advocate.com exclusive posted November 15, 2005

I recently became a New York project coordinator for the Honor Project—a federally funded survey that will analyze the heath and wellness of LGBT native Americans who live in urban areas across the United States. We are in the process of collecting data, and that means asking participants a spectrum of questions that include their views on having multiple sexual partners, HIV and risk behaviors, depression, that feeling of being “too white” for their tribes, and that feeling of being too native American for the gay mainstream.

Needless to say, this experience has gotten me thinking about what it means to be a gay man and an American Indian.

I grew up on a reservation outside San Diego as a Kumeyaay. There was a time when LGBT native Americans were honored as “two-spirits.” Long before the Stonewall riots—even before Greek antiquity—those of us who entered into same-sex relationships were considered holy and treated with the highest respect. They were the historians, the healers, and the people of empowerment. They possessed a delicate balance of male and female and were often honored for being unique and having a different spiritual calling. For their people, they served as mediators between the spirit world and natural world. That time has since passed as Christian ideologies have replaced important tribal traditions.

When I came out, it was a two-step ordeal: coming to terms with my sexuality and with being a two-spirit.

I traveled to a “two-spirit” gathering in Tulsa, Okla., and it was like coming out all over again. On the second night they held a powwow, and I had never seen so many beautiful LGBT natives. There was so much pride in who we were and where we came from. We were all accepted—even the six-foot-tall transgender two-spirits who were dressed in feathers and beads topped off with that distinct flowing native hair. The next morning we had a talking circle, and there were plenty of cries for our people. Gay men lamented the way their brothers, sisters, and parents had disowned them for putting on dresses instead of pants or ribbons instead of baseball hats. Others told stories of being beaten by their tribes for being different. We all prayed for our families, that they could have understanding in their hearts.

When the Honor Project is completed, it will likely conclude what LGBT native Americans have realized for years: we have serious concerns that need to be addressed immediately—including substance abuse issues, mental health, and the acceptance of our sexuality. Most native gatherings I attend are drug- and alcohol-free because most of us are in some type of recovery. I learned that even though my people are very proud and like to laugh, it merely covers what is at the surface of years and generations of pain, poverty, and bigotry. It is sad that most of our pain comes from old ideas about ourselves learned from growing up on reservations.

Hopefully, the study will give us the numbers to prove to policy makers that funding needs to be set aside, that action needs to be taken, and that community organization needs to be advocated. It will no doubt also tell us that reconnecting with our culture, spirituality, and traditions means a healthier life.

By participating, I hope that I have taken small steps that will cause large ripples in the two-spirit community. Each day I ask myself how I can help. My creator shows me the next right step, and it is up to me to take the action.

If you are an LGBT native American and live in Tulsa, Okla.; Los Angeles; Minneapolis; Denver; Seattle; or New York City, contact the Honor Project at (866) 685-0764 to take part in the anonymous survey. There is compensation for your time.

VanWanseele lives in New York and is a founder of the Northeast Two-spirit Society, a group serving the LGBT native American two-spirit population in and around New York City. For more information go to the organization’s Web site at Ne2ss.org or contact VanWanseele at kevinvan79@mac.com.

Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: BRENDA (TALON)
    Date posted: 2008-07-08 2:35 AM
    Hometown: STEUBENVILLE, OHIO

    Comment:

    WITH MUCH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING I TAKE KEVIN'S STORY TO HEART. OHIO IS THE SAME. BUT, HERE I HAVE ONLY FOUND ONE OTHER TWO SPIRIT AND I WAS MARRIED TO HER 11YRS AGO. PEOPLE HERE WILL ACCEPT OUR NATIVE AMERICAN BACK GROUND LONG BEFORE THEY WILL ACCEPT US BEING TWO SPIRIT. BUT, THEN I EXPECT THE APACHE AND COMANCHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT EITHER ONE. WE ARE FAR TWO WHITE AND TWO SPIRIT ON TOP OF IT. I FOR ONE AM STILL VERY PROUD OF MY COMANCHE BLOOD AND THE WAY THE GRANDFATHERS STOOD, NOT GIVING UP. MAY THE GREAT SPIRIT SPEAK TO ALL AND LET US BE PROUD TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN AND TWO SPIRIT! WITH MUCH COMANCHE PRIDE TALON


Back to top

Submit a comment for this story:

*Type your comment here (Required, 1000 characters max.):

*Name (Required): 

*Hometown (Required): 

*E-mail address: (Required, but will not be displayed)

Is this comment for publication? 
Yes   No

Daytime phone number: (Required for print publication only and will not be displayed)

Please enter the words you see in the box, in order and separated by a space. Doing so helps prevent automated programs from abusing this service.

  

If you would like to submit a comment for posting, please fill out the form above. 

All comments submitted via this form are subject to posting or publication. (To send a private letter to an Advocate editor or writer, please use the e-mail button at the top of the page, or use snail mail.) If you would like your comment considered for publication in The Advocate magazine, please include your full name, your city of residence, and a phone number where you can be reached during business hours so that we can confirm your identity. Your e-mail address and telephone number are strictly confidential and will not be shared or used for any purpose other than to contact you about your comment.

Comments that do not concern specific articles in The Advocate or on Advocate.com will not be posted or published. See the Contact page for sending comments for reasons other than responding to Advocate editorial and news stories.

Please note that comments sent by fax or snail mail are unlikely to be posted, although they will be considered for publication along with all letters received via e-mail or via this Web page. Comments that chiefly concern Advocate.com content will be considered for posting only on the Web site. The Advocate reserves the right to edit submitted comments for grammar, spelling, obscenities, or libel; we will, however, do our best to preserve the original comment's style and intent. Comments considered for publication in The Advocate magazine may also be edited for length.

More Exclusives
  • Building Bridges in the Wake of Prop. 8
    In the wake of finger-pointing following California's passing of Prop. 8, television writer and producer Tajamika Paxton suggests the time has come to build a bridge between the LGBT and African-American communities -- to engage in discussion rather than looking for somewhere to place blame.
  • Without Her We're Nothing
    The legendary Sandra Bernhard sits down with The Advocate before the one-night-only revival of her seminal one-woman show Without You I'm Nothing in Los Angeles to discuss Tori Amos, why Prop. 8 is "the best thing that could happen to the gay community," and how she she could possibly love both Rachel Maddow and Rachel Zoe.
  • Carmen Finds Her Spotlight
    It’s not very often that a lowly music critic gets the privilege of witnessing a glowing performance by a major new talent at the beginning of his or her career, but that is certainly what happened to yours truly on the evening of November 15 at the Los Angeles Opera. Viktoria Vizin, an astounding new mezzo-soprano making her L.A. Opera debut as Carmen this season, took my breath away.
  • Connecticut Gets Married
    This weekend, all 50 states participated in protests against the passing of antigay legislation in California, Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida. Gays and lesbians in Connecticut protested too, but they also had reason to celebrate. Last week, same-sex marriages got under way throughout the state.
  • Gay Is the New Black?
    In the wake of California’s passage of Proposition 8, protests are popping up around the country -- and so are comparisons between gays’ and African-Americans’ fights for equality. Is gay the new black? Michael Joseph Gross examines two struggles for civil rights. Plus: Photos from Wednesday night's rally in New York City.
  • The Day in Pictures
    From coast to coast, from gay to straight, from Pink to Mormon moms--a national movement to protest the passing of Prop. 8 in California rises up.
  • Smart Money
    In a time of economic calamity, one voice rises above the panic. Suze Orman is here to help -- she's offered her will and trust kit free to Advocate readers. Click the story for more info.
  • David Hyde Pierce is Gay, Married ... and Marching Against Prop. 8
    As Dr. Niles Crane on the hit sitcom Frasier, David Hyde Pierce had a great deadpan. That also extended to his own life: For years he wouldn’t confirm or deny being gay. Since then he thawed enough to thank his longtime partner, Brian Hargrove, in his 2007 Tony Award acceptance speech. And on Saturday, Pierce was one baseball-capped protester among maybe 20,000 others marching for equality in Los Angeles.
  • Gearing Up
    From Long Beach to Toronto, activists begin to prepare for a weekend of protest -- including the "Raging Grannies" in Palo Alto. See it all come together.
  • Best of Times, Worst of Times
    In the week after Barack Obama’s historic victory, gays and lesbians are pondering another historic, albeit less victorious, moment of their own. Three anti-gay marriage propositions passed -- in Florida, Arizona, and California. In Arkansas gay people were barred from adopting children. Now the real fight begins.
  • Revolution No. 8
    I've been waving a sign on street corners since H8 passed: "Black Queers." Responses have varied -- from honks of support to looks of disapproval from both blacks and whites. A black woman came up to me at a rally and asked me if I didn't think the sign was offensive to black people. I said, "It's who I am, and people should know."
  • You Can Never Go Home Again
    Eight years ago Advocate associate editor Neal Broverman packed up his car and moved from Connecticut to California to find freedom and acceptance. Now that marriage is legal in Connecticut, he's wondering if he ever should have left.
  • Prop. 8 Rally Takes Manhattan
    On the same day that the state of Connecticut began allowing same-sex marriages, thousands of New Yorkers gathered to protest the recent ruling in California taking away those same rights. Over 15,000 people gathered Wednesday night in protest of Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that overturned a recent court ruling allowing same-sex marriage.
  • Calif. Senators Leno, Migden on Post-Prop. 8 Movement
    Forty-four California state senators and assembly members on Monday signed a friend-of-the-court brief to support lawsuits seeking to overturn Proposition 8, which voters passed last week, banning same-sex marriage. Senator-elect Mark Leno, author of the "only marriage equality bills to reach a governor's desk," and Sen. Carole Migden were among the petitioners.
  • London, 007 Style
    Bond has firmly swashbuckled into the 21st century in the form of hunky Daniel Craig, who is bursting onto screens in the brand-new Quantum of Solace. Although he's better known as a global jet-setter, James’s hometown of London holds many of the keys to his persona -- it's where he dressed, ate, slept, and had his hair done. Here’s your chance to swagger in his footsteps and imagine your travels are on Her Majesty’s Secret Service expense account.
  • Role Model
    Jack Mackenroth of Project Runway season 4 unveiled his new HIV/AIDS education campaign on Monday night at the Gay Men's Health Crisis Fashion Forward benefit in New York City. Called "Living Positive by Design" and sponsored by Merck and Co., the initiative seeks to combat the stigmatization of people living with HIV.
  • Gaga for the Lady
    Lady Gaga cavorts in couture. She only dons platinum wigs that suggest the presence of radioactivity. And she yells for you to dance, all in tribute to her favorite muse -- fame.
  • Terminated: Commercial Closet's Executive Director
    Since early this year, Commercial Closet Association has been in negotiations with GLAAD to dissolve into one advertising media program overseen by the larger nonprofit. But CCA founder Michael Wilke says he was supposed to join GLAAD in this new joint venture. Then on Monday, CCA's board announced the merger -- and Wilke's termination...which Wilke says took him completely by surprise. The board says that's hard to believe and that Wilke was told he'd been terminated November 4.
  • Side of Guac With Your Hate?
    L.A. eatery El Coyote, long known for attracting a heavily LGBT client base, is facing the heat now that bloggers have revealed one of the managers, who is a niece of the original owners, had donated to the pro-Proposition 8 campaign. El Coyote's answer: a free lunch/press conference giving her a forum to explain her decision. But the 70-some people in attendance were none too pleased with what they heard. Is a boycott the answer?