Bisexual YouTuber R.J. Aguiar has posted the first video of a series called “Ask a Bi Guy,” answering questions frequently asked of bisexual men. It’s a follow-up to his last video on bisexuality, in which he sets the record “straight” on his bisexuality while breaking down binaries and stereotypes.
“I mean, just because people don’t believe in something doesn’t make it not real,” Aguiar says in his latest video, countering the lingering misconception that bisexuality is only a stepping stone to homosexuality and not a legitimate sexuality. “There are people out there who don’t believe in climate change or evolution — that doesn’t mean those things don’t exist. Same goes for my sexuality. I’m not the fucking tooth fairy.”
The hardest part of being an out bisexual, Aguiar says, is “dealing with dumb and ignorant people that try to tell you that being bi is not a real thing. Really, honestly, it was one of the biggest obstacles for me coming out, and I guarantee you there are a bunch of bi people out there that aren’t out for the very same reason.” Aguiar’s experience reflects the statistics recently released in a report that indicates only 28 percent of bisexual people are out to the people they love, in comparison to 77 percent of gay men and 71 percent of lesbians.
Aguiar says it is “macho masculinity bullshit” that contributes to greater stigma toward bisexual men than bisexual women. “Girls kind of have that ‘Katy Perry I kissed a girl and I liked it experimented with another chick in college’ sort of thing going for them,” he says. “Which isn’t that much better, but at least that’s more widely accepted. Whereas for guys, like the minute you cross the threshold of fooling around with other dude you’re ‘gay.’”
Ultimately, Aguiar says, “boobs are fun” and that his “gender preference” leans to not a gender but his fiancé, fellow YouTuber Will Sheperd. Watch the full video below: