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Managing a Gay Bathhouse Will Leave You With Plenty of Stories

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For years, Jameson Farn ran bathhouses all over North America. Read some of his dispatches in this excerpt of his new book, Bathhouse Babylon.

On weekdays this bathhouse got to be known for the "Lucky at Lunch" special, with the tagline, "If the girls at the office only knew."

Lucky at Lunch was a hugely popular special. Since we were located in the downtown core, this was an especially enticing promotion for the business crowd.

This would also attract the kind of men you would have to once in a while keep an eye on as many of them considered themselves to be straight and were either married and half the time they also had kids at home. Which could feel a bit awkward if they were going on about their family in conversation to you when you know they just had sex with someone, and then just stepped out of the shower room massaging their still semi-hard cock in front of you while asking for a fresh towel from behind the snack counter.

For these straight men, the desire to act upon those sexual urges and fantasies could at times be considered stronger depending on how the person handled their emotions as they could be concealed at first and then practically explode if things didn't happen to go as planned for themselves while in the bathhouse. This would once in a while be the case if it was their first time at the baths and had a whole, very preplanned fantasy in their mind of how things will go for them.

This was certainly not an everyday occurrence but if it did happen, it would be quick with a lot of yelling with the patron then rushing out the door. What could have also set them off is simply because a guy tried to touch their chest, ass, or even grab their dick as they walked by.

Straight men were also known to us to sometimes being the loudest having sex, almost like they were bragging or showing off if it was happening somewhere in the club for everyone to see. And in such a manner that they finally got what they were after all this time, even over the music you could hear the biggest moans and groans about it all. Men even used to imitate them passing by the room or one of the cheeky cashiers was also known to get on the intercom and imitate the sounds over the speakers.

We would jokingly refer to this as "Showtime!" As without fail half the time, they would then feel the need to have to tell us, employees, all the dirty details about it while they were asking for a fresh towel or as they checked out of the place, but as long as they were happy and really, no one seemed to mind.


Fetish gear is something else men of any sexuality love to show off and a bathhouse is a perfect place for it. One of the big reasons men come to a bathhouse is it gives them the opportunity to live out their fantasy, or at least get halfway there if they arrange to see someone at the baths beforehand or meet someone in the club that is also into that same scene.

As employees, we've seen every article of leather put together and the accessories that go with it, every uniform imaginable, sports gear, drag regalia, underwear, and even adult baby fetish gear.

That last one, the adult baby fetish, no matter how many years a staff member had worked at the baths, it was always a bit alarming to turn the corner while walking down a hallway and accidentally bump into a man wearing a big ass diaper, bonnet, with an adult size soother hanging from a string around his neck. And they would get right into the act with the baby sounds and everything. Live and let live but if we ever got complaints, this would tend to be the cause for it.

The adult baby fetish look seemed to really put men off and they would be vocal to us about it. Want to put a stop to an orgy going on in one of the blackout play spaces? Just walk into the room wearing a diaper with little toy trucks or pink flowers printed on it. Customers used to ask us to ask the individual to keep it in his room and if he only had a locker, they would expect him to just stay in one section of the club or something.

There was one straight customer, in his late 40's, average build, nice enough guy, that we had nicknamed "Barry Bits" as he seemed to have a bit of an outfit for every occasion on every visit would show up a couple of nights near the end of every month.

On one visit, Barry Bits rented a room and about 25 minutes later came back to the lounge/snack bar area after changing into one of the biggest diapers I had ever seen and carrying what looked like a plastic yellow and blue paddle with a wooden handle that was about 3 feet long in total.

It kind of threw us off while doing our duties as this area of the club had slightly brighter lighting and the way he stepped out of the lower lit area of the venue and right into our main section put an immediate stop to everything. I think he sensed it too and turned around to start cruising the club again in his gear while the few of us working just gave each other a look and rolled our eyes.

Everything seemed normal as the evening progressed, then a couple of hours later we could hear this smacking noise and wailing cries from two corridors of rooms away. When a couple of us went to see what was going on, we could see some patrons passing by Barry Bits room with a look as though they were wondering what the hell was going on behind those closed doors and others were just giggling.

It sounded like Barry Bits found someone to take care of his needs and he was getting smacked with the paddle on the ass with the diapers still on, hence the louder noise, then throw in some baby wailing sounds on top of it. Amusing as it was, customers didn't seem to care that much and we went back to our work. Only a few minutes later though we could hear loud arguing and the sound of glass breaking.

When we got back to Barry Bits room, his door was open, and whoever was with him must have just left as the yelling had stopped and there were Barry Bits, with his diaper half on, sweating profusely and upset because apparently the guy he was messing around with wasn't obeying what Barry Bits wanted to fulfill, and also somehow managed to cum all over his new diaper and decided to leave but Barry Bits didn't get a chance to cum yet.

An argument ensued and either the lover or Barry Bits in the process of the fight smashed the corner of the big mirror on the wall which splintered a big chunk of it into pieces.

It was time for Barry Bits to pack up his diaper and leave for this visit.

Excerpted from Bathhouse Babylon, courtesy of Jameson Farn.

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