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#TBT: Halloween Do's and Don'ts

#TBT: Halloween Do's and Don'ts

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We know you are excited for this special night, but we beg you, please follow these simple guidelines.

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We know how you boys and girls are. You're all tense and bored from your dreary jobs as security guards at the DMV or hairdressers in the strip mall. Halloween is your night to cut loose and be the star of the show in your rich fantasy life. But one moment of heedlessness can cause a lifetime of holiday regrets. That's why we're here to help.

Clara-bow-halloweenx633_0 DON'T: Don't stuff the cat as an accessory to your outfit like Clara Bow did.

Unicorn_tumblrx633_0 DO: Wear as little clothing as possible if you are in tip-top shape.

Batesx633_0 DO: Consider dressing in drag as your mother. A touching homage to the woman who sacrificed everything for you.

More helpful advice on the following pages >>>

Lederhosenx633_0 DO: Consider a theme outfit based on your nationality.

Joan_croawfordx633_0 DON'T: Don't be scared, it's only Joan Crawford.

50-shadesx633_0 DON'T: Don't feel you have top spend a lot of money. Use your imagination, like this clever young man dressed as 50 Shades of Grey.

Dressup_officex633_0 DO: Encourage costumes at the office. Have some frivolity in your cubicle.

Hudsonveraellenasoscarx633_0 DO: Reveal your secret wishes like Rock Hudson and Vera-Ellen dressed as Oscars. (And please see above: Wear as little clothing as possible if you are in tip-top shape.)


Group_dragx633_0 DO: Group drag is such a strong statement, like these sailors on a steamship in 1925. What fun these swabbies must have had dressing up for the other boys.

Snackoncandyx633_0 DON'T: Don't snack on the Butterfingers. It's not "one for them, one for me." Otherwise you'll bust right out of that smart shirtwaist dress.

Pumpkin_suitx633_0 DON'T: Avoid wearing a costume that will rot.

Village-peoplex633_0 DO: Go for the classics. The Village People as a group costume are always correct, especially for straight guys and lesbians.

Vp_maskx633_0 DO: (See above)

Vulvax633_0 DO: And speaking of lesbians, what would you give to have this vintage Isis costume with a flaming Isis bursting forth from your vulva?

Muscle_whips_saiorx633_0 DO: Show it off.

Naked_ghostx633_0 DO: Did we mention that thing about wearing as little clothing as possible?

Stephen-tennant-william-walton-georgia-sitwell-zita-jungman-rex-whistler-and-cecil-beaton-at-wilsford-1927-picturex633_0 DO: Consider a group theme like Stephen Tennant, William Walton, Georgia Sitwell, Zita Jungman, Rex Whistler, and Cecil Beaton above.

Orthodontiax633_0 DON'T: Don't overload the small ones on sugary treats. If they still have any teeth, try fresh fruit.

Gay_cowboysx633_0 DO: Make your husband participate too.

Skyscrapersx633_0 DO: Consider dressing as your favorite city. For example, how would you dress as Trenton, N.J.?

Clifton-webb-marlene-dietrich-and-elizabeth-allan-at-basil-rathbones-halloween-party-1935x633_0 DO: Get a date, like Marlene Dietrich did. And a chaperone if need be. (Clifton Webb, Marlene Dietrich, and Elizabeth Allan at Basil Rathbone's Halloween party, 1935.)

Mushroomsx633_0 DON'T: Don't do mushrooms for the first time on Halloween. Yes, it seems like a great idea, but trust us, just don't.

Treatsx633_0 DON'T: Kids don't want cereal at Halloween. What kind of freak are you? DO: Give them candy bars as big as their heads.

 

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Christopher Harrity

Christopher Harrity is the Manager of Online Production for Here Media, parent company to The Advocate and Out. He enjoys assembling online features on artists and photographers, and you can often find him poring over the mouldering archives of the magazines.
Christopher Harrity is the Manager of Online Production for Here Media, parent company to The Advocate and Out. He enjoys assembling online features on artists and photographers, and you can often find him poring over the mouldering archives of the magazines.