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Let Lily Tomlin Entertain You

The iconic entertainer, at 70, shows no signs of slowing down. Tomlin opens up about her extraordinary career and why she never felt the need for a coming-out party.


LILY TOMLIN LEAD X390 (GREG GORMAN) | ADVOCATE.COM

Turns out 1939 was the watershed year of the last century after all. So many things that are still relevant today started out then—television sets were first displayed at the New York World’s Fair, and they still haven’t been turned off; Gone With the Wind and The Wizard of Oz were brand-new movies, and we have never stopped watching them; and Lily Tomlin was born, and she endures as a beloved comedy icon.

Yes, Tomlin is 70. If you first encountered her 40 years ago, in 1969, when she marched her parade of characters down Main Street as a regular on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, you probably remember how hip she was. If you first encountered her last season as a self-styled private detective and con artist on Desperate Housewives, you probably remember how hip she is. She’s never gone out of style, but that may be because she has, in her own words, never been mainstream.

Tomlin has always known where the edge is and has straddled it brilliantly. Because of this, her sexuality always hovered just under America’s gaydar. Never cast as the romantic leading lady, she never stirred prurient interest, on-screen or off. Nevertheless, as the feminist movement took hold and the AIDS epidemic solidified the gay political base, out lesbians began making noise that Tomlin, whose multi-decade relationship with the writer-director Jane Wagner was an open secret, should declare herself in the fashion of celebrities years younger. She didn’t, choosing instead to make casual references to her time-honored romance as if it was the most normal thing in the world, which, in fact, it is. She and Wagner share one of the longest-running professional and personal partnerships in show business—even Metro, Goldwyn, and Mayer stopped speaking after a few years. These women’s highly civil union survived the stunning success of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, which had two critically acclaimed runs on Broadway 14 years apart, and the numbing failure of Moment by Moment, a soapy drama in which Tomlin lapsed into early cougardom, chasing John Travolta down the beach at Malibu. Both were written and directed by Wagner. At the time of this interview, they are plotting to conquer Las Vegas (her show Not Playing With a Full Deck has a limited engagement in mid November), which, for edge-straddlers like these two, may be the final frontier.

I didn’t notice fireworks on your 70th birthday.

It rained. It happened very quietly. I’ve been celebrating with naps. There’s been a lot of travel lately. I’ve been back and forth to New York shooting the new season of Damages. I have been mad for that show since it went on.

Is your character good or bad?

That’s what I love about the show. Who can tell? I mean, the entire show is a gray area. Everybody is capable of everything.

So age isn’t something you dwell on?
It’s something my trainer dwells on. I try to keep myself in shape and I schedule these hours, but I can get through about half an hour now, and then I throw my arms up, which is not part of the training. And the trainer, well, you know how they are. They shame you.

And you keep working.
Interesting things keep coming along. And I have this storehouse of characters I can always bring out. Every day now is a negotiation with Jane to get her to write me another Broadway show. Once you’ve done one of those things it’s difficult to do a play where you’re just one character. And I love getting up onstage.

Your partnership with Jane is so well established, yet you’ve never come out in the grand sense.
There never seemed to be a need. I mean, people weren’t clamoring to know. At the beginning it was something that no one did. Of course, being a woman, it was a little different. In 1973, I was on The Tonight Show and Johnny Carson said, “You’re very attractive, yet you’ve never married.” And I said, “Well, you’ve done it a few times—how is it working out?” and he ran with that, you know, because it was a funny thing about him.
 

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Lana Turn Tricks
    Date posted: 1/10/2010 9:02:43 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    That face could frighten the dead. The age of not wanting to say you are a lesbian is long long gone, Miss Tomlin. It is important that all your fans know.

  • Name: Edward Murphy
    Date posted: 1/10/2010 4:34:50 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    Coming out isn´t shallow. It is what is needed to advance gay rights. And to the comenter who has something against gay boys, you are on the wrong site,,,try Anita Bryant Ministries. Lily Tomlin is only out to us, she isn´t to others. At 70, that is pathetic. Just saying she has a special friend doesn´t register..it didn´t to Barbara Walters. I find Tomlin talented but ugly. She is no symbol for gay lib and thats what this site is about.

  • Name: Raul
    Date posted: 1/9/2010 12:24:31 PM
    Hometown: Panama

    Comment:

    The sad one posting under various names about her idol of clay and closet Lily TOMlin is in another century. So she doesn't want to be a gay celeb, huh. She isn't. She's over.

  • Name: Kelly
    Date posted: 1/9/2010 12:00:15 AM
    Hometown: Fort Myers, FL

    Comment:

    You people who are discrediting Lily Tomlin are sad. I mean, this lady is a class act. She is an amazing representative of our community. She wanted to be recognized for her talent, not something in her personal life. If more people thought and acted like her the world would be a better place. On top of all that, shallow gay boys, she is beautiful, both inside and out.

  • Name: Frankieboy
    Date posted: 1/8/2010 6:15:22 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    Lutra or whomever... we do not think being gay is shameful and do not support the closet for professional reasons in 2010. Cowardice and self loathing are the main reasons today for the closet. Lily is still from another era and she is negative about fully coming out. Don´t expect us to be positive about that!

  • Name: Lutra
    Date posted: 1/6/2010 7:56:39 AM
    Hometown: London, UK

    Comment:

    Can't believe all the negative comments on this interview with a comedy legend who's earned her stripes and surely has nothing to prove. As Lily says,"your sexuality was not a part of your public profile", which may seem a but disingenouous to some readers, but is as true now as it ever was for those - of any sexual persuasion - who choose for it not to be. To advance equality, don't INSIST on every visible public figure being defined my their sexuality, DEMAND EQUALITY on constitutional, legal and humanist grounds. This is the baton that has been picked up in Europe, with increasingly gret success. But then a lot of the comments here seem to reflectthe life conditions of the posters, rather than that of the interviewee or her interviewer (and I really don't think it's wise to make sweeping assumptions about its readership, either). If you want to improve your personal situation, happiness etc, by all means come out to family, friends, employers etc. A ripple effect will ensue...

  • Name: Jake
    Date posted: 1/1/2010 8:57:00 PM
    Hometown: Rockaway Beach

    Comment:

    How telling of The Advocate's conservative, closeted readership that many think it is wonderful that she will go into the grave with most straight people never knowing she was gay. What an advancement for gay liberation! Yeah, its really something that dare not speak its name! Not important! Hide it from mommy! Lets list all the excuses in 2010 for the semi-closet!

  • Name: ROB
    Date posted: 12/31/2009 4:14:50 PM
    Hometown: VICTOR VALLEY CALIFORNIA

    Comment:

    Never made it to Miss Tomlin's New York successes, but when her album Signs of Life came out in the 70's we laughed so hard that the cops came to the door several times warning us to keep it down. I think she is hysterical and would love to see more of her. Glad to hear that she will be on Damages this season......people like Lily are rare and should be appreciated for their art and not whether she bumps pussies.

  • Name: Karen
    Date posted: 12/26/2009 8:36:39 AM
    Hometown: Boston

    Comment:

    Someone wrote she is a lesbian role model. Not. Not for me. When asked why she never married on TV (recently and in the past) she just says 'blah blah blah, have you tried it?". And then she tells US about her woman partner. I don't know what she thinks she has to lose now, at 70 and with little left of a career. Silence isn't honest. I agree with the commenter who wrote the best we can expect from her would be hints or statements that still leave Barbara Walters thinking she is straight. Now about the debate on her face (ugly or beautiful) lets get real people, shall we? Take a look at that photo. If you really would want that face for your own, you must hate yourself.

  • Name: David Weinreich
    Date posted: 12/25/2009 5:07:52 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    I think comments saying she has an ugly rodent face are childish. She is a great comedian. She is also being untruthful saying that she never came out because 'everyone knows anyway". She didn't come out in the past because of homophobia and now because of perhaps self hatred, who knows? (the part about not wanting to be the gay entertainer indicates that). The best we can expect from her would be statements about her longtime roommate/girlfriend and such. She wants to let us know she is gay but keep brain dead grannie in her audience from knowing. That's her choice but not one I can respect. In many ways she is a prisoner of another age. Like someone using a real name in a gay bar but if you meet them on the street you can't talk about it. Notice how Bruce Villanch tries in this interview for a gay magazine.

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