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I hate being gay

This Washington State teen faces a daily battle between the sexual attraction he feels for other men and his religious convictions that tell him being gay is against God’s word.

By Kyle Rice

An Advocate.com exclusive posted September 15, 2006

In late July the Washington State supreme court upheld a law that limits marriage to heterosexual couples. As a gay 19-year-old in Longview, Wash., my delight with that ruling is probably surprising. However, I’m not your average gay person—I'm also a Christian who views living a gay lifestyle as against God's word.

And because of my religious beliefs, I hate the fact that I am gay.

About the time I was 12 years old, it became clear to me that I was sexually attracted to guys. I assumed these feelings would go away as I got older. People choose to be gay, right? I didn’t choose this, so I figured it would pass. But it didn’t. By age 15 I had my first boyfriend.

At about that time I started to attend a Pentecostal church. I began reading the Bible, including its many different and powerful passages condemning homosexual activity. I knew in my heart that being gay was wrong in God’s eyes. I decided to devote myself to living a God-filled life and knew I needed to stop being gay so that I could stop being attracted to guys.

I looked into "ex-gay" ministries and joined such a program offered by a local church. It has taught me that with God’s help I can change my desires. A friend of mine went through another church’s program, and he's changed. He’s now happy and in love with his girlfriend. I pray the same will happen to me someday.

In the meantime I focus on fighting efforts to force the "gay agenda" on those of us who know God does not accept homosexuality. Although I do not condone discrimination, I also do not support gay marriage laws or many of the other issues backed by gay rights groups. I am a proud conservative Republican, and I support political candidates who feel the same way I do.

Many people ask me how I can be gay and also be a Republican and a Pentecostal Christian. My answer is that I am so much more than my sexuality. I don’t vote solely on pet gay issues. My faith and love of God is not guided by one small piece of who I am—a piece of me that I am trying very hard to change.

Being a gay Christian is at times very hard to deal with. Some days I feel as if I’m at war with myself. But I know God would not approve of me acting on my gay feelings, and I have no right to question his directive. I know that in the end I will be happy I lived my life according to God’s standards the best that I could.

That means refusing to accept being gay.

Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

Name: The Outsider
Date posted: 2009-06-23 1:21 AM
Hometown: Chicago

Comment:

I use to be a born again Christian and always knew I was gay. I hated how Christianity and the Church demonized being gay and made it seem like being gay is a choice. So I left the Church and my religion behind in hopes of finding acceptance and support within the gay community. I personally didn't find it. To me, the gay community is mostly a culture made up of and caters to mostly gay, white men. I've never in my life experienced a culture so full of narcissism, sexual addictions, promiscuity, bigotry, racism, drug use, and std infected men. Finding a gay male who is emotionally and mentally healthy is a rarity. And finding one with integrity and who doesn't have an ulterior motive is also problematic. I can see why many gay men suffer from depression and want to commit suicide. Because there's a lack of a strong support system within the gay culture for ALL races. Gay men of color have it worse in terms of community support. I now see why; and that's why I hate being gay.

Name: J
Date posted: 2009-06-22 12:08 PM
Hometown: Pensacola, FL

Comment:

I completely respect your religious beliefs, but don't you think your political views are contradicting your conservative background??? Conservative ideology is based on the idea that we do not want government meddling in our lives, whether through the oversized government, overly burdensome taxes or respecting our privacy/property rights. Despite your Christian beliefs, don't you think your "Republican Conservative" side should tell you that it is not the place for government to decide which Religion's views should be followed in creating marriage laws. I would be right behind you if it was the government telling your church the definition of marriage that te church should follow, but don't you think it would it is wrong for government to define marriage according to YOUR church's ideals? Whether the government defines marriage as between two human beings or between a man and a woman does not change your religion one way or another.

Name: Paul T
Date posted: 2009-06-19 10:44 AM
Hometown: Brunei

Comment:

Refer to Book of Romans in the Bible, we are set free from the Law (which was given to Moses). To live the highest Law of God is to live Christ. There is a Law of Life in us. Chirst must be the one who lives in us, and we must open to Him honestly about our problems (including our sexual problem). It's said in the Bible that, "...take up his cross and follow Me..." To follow Chirst, is to follow the light from His Word. To live by the light of His Word, and this is to live the Will of God. To follow Christ, is not to suppress our desire or emotion with our own effort. But rather it is by the Word of God and by the will of God. God does not come to condemn but to save us. To live the Law of God, it is not by teaching of doctrine. But rather it is to live a living, which is to manifest God in our daily living. In short, to live by the Law of God is to live with God, and live by God.

Name: Christian brother
Date posted: 2009-06-12 1:58 AM
Hometown: Baldwin Park

Comment:

All those people giving negative responses claiming "you are evil", "God doesn't exist" or your "sexuality is okay" are the truly ignorant ones. Why is the support for gay marriage considered an advance of civilization? What about murderers and rapists being supported as a free choice? Surprise, these people also can have a predetermined biological preference to practice these illegal acts, but it is not an excuse! I commend ALL who take a stand against their desires to do anything evil. It is weakness to give in to temptation - that's what is cowardly. We are not animals; we are human beings with much more brain power than the rest of creation. I am relieved and glad I found this posting. Keep on the right track. Even if you stumble, don't give up. One day, your desires will nearly disappear. God be with you.

Name: bryan william
Date posted: 2009-05-25 9:29 PM
Hometown: asheville N.c

Comment:

If your're not gay Then you have no idea of what some of these peaple are going through. I've been this way all my life, and I hated it. Did I choose it? No! I didn't Every since I was six or seven years old I had these feeling. A few years ago I gave myself to the lord, but just recently I decided If I'm going to be a man of god that cruisin for gay sex was out. I didn't choose to be this way( who really want to be gay) but I did choose to go out hunting for gay sex. I take it one day at a time and pray to god to give me the strenght. I think is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I read some of these comments My prayer go out to a lot of you, because I feel your pain

Name: Lincoln Damario
Date posted: 2009-05-23 2:01 AM
Hometown: CA

Comment:

EVERYtime one has sex, it is a choice. I might really fall in love with your (the reader's) boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife. So, then I guess I just can't help but "go for it", right? FEELINGS are not a choice. ACTIONS are. There is no other (can I call it) paradigm where this type of reasoning exists that I know of. If you just want to shoot your neighbor 'cuz he's driving you crazy, who among you reading this would go turn yourself in to the local Police?!? FEELING like killing someone does not make you a Murderer. ACTING upon those feelings does. ...and it is all easier said than done, for any of us... We all just "want to do what we want to do". . . God help us consider others before ourselves, in true love, NO MATTER WHAT THEIR ACTIONS may be.

Name: Prodigy
Date posted: 2009-05-04 6:58 AM
Hometown: GA Made, TX Raised

Comment:

P.S. God is all-powerful if I'm not mistaken so it would be no stretch of the imagination to say that if God indeed didn't want you to be gay it would be well within his power to change you. Some would try to negate that argument by saying that god doesn't interfere in mortal matters. I remember in my youth...since i'm 16 that's maybe two years ago lol...I remember a time when I prayed to God to change me. To shape me as others were so I wouldn't be deemed an outcast only to no avail. I assume you'll say I didn't try hard enough. The effort was excruciating I assure you. To bend your own will, something that is part of your being...you have no idea until you experience that. I don't know where I'm going with this post but I know somewhat where I'm heading in life. The path to conformity is paved with tar and gravel and leads to a set destination. But the dirt road less traveled leads to place uncharted where dreams may come alive... -16 y.o. Prodigious Son

Name: Prodigy
Date posted: 2009-05-04 6:41 AM
Hometown: GA Made, TX Raised

Comment:

Damn near impossible I'd say. You eat and breathe I assume. Wake up to go to school/work. Loathe quite a few of the people at you institution of higher learning/workplace? I'm not straight but if I pose these questions to a straight person I think I'd get the same answers. You should stop focusing on the differences and more on the indenticals. You should also ask yourself," If god hates me for being this way, why do I seek to please him in the 1st place".The bible is full of contradictions, seeing how it was manufactured by imperfect, human hands. A few phrases escaped molestation by the grace of the True God my favorite being: "To each his own" J.Christ I'd better go before I start to ramble. 5 a.m here so plz excuse my grammatical/spelling errors. -16 y.o. Prodigious Son

Name: Prodigy
Date posted: 2009-05-04 6:40 AM
Hometown: GA Made, TX Raised

Comment:

How is it that you are so devout to your religion and savior that you end up hating yourself for your sexual orientation? So you're saying God made you hate yourself. Unlikely, if not impossible...right? God, the harbinger of love, made you hate yourself? I guess I'm the only one who can see a problem with that. Anything that makes you hate yourself for being something that you have no control over is no good. If the bible said having teeth was bad would you be rushing to grab the nearest set of pliers to go postal on your cuspids? I dare say you wouldn't (I hope you wouldn't). Also, you couldn't change your sexual orientation if you wanted to. I challenge any person who is of straight/gay sexual preferences to decide to be gay/straight, if just for a moment....don't worry I'll wait.

Name: Sid
Date posted: 2009-05-01 11:59 AM
Hometown: Selkirk

Comment:

I think the biggest mistake people make when talking about god is that they mix up 'religion' with 'God', they are not the same thing. Religion leads to hypocrisy, bigotry and misconceptions about the truth of the things around you whereas an understanding of God leads to love, compassion and unity. Religion is mans view of God and God's ways, this does not mean God actually sees it this way; just that man has interpreted it this way and believes this is how God sees it or more to the point, man in his arrogance, believes this is how God 'should' see it. A God that would condemn you to an eternity of pain for simply being gay is a god that breaks his/her own foundation of truths and teachings, this is how you know it cannot be the way of God. It is simply a delusion of men who are attempting to place themselves on a moral pedestal, because as long as you have tried to behave the best you can in your given circumstances, God will forgive your frailties and mistakes.

Name: ejey
Date posted: 2009-04-30 9:27 PM
Hometown: washington state

Comment:

Hi kyle, I know where you at, and i know exactly how you feel. i grow up as pentecostal kids, i read the bible a lot, i did fasting and prayer for 27 days, and i know that i am gays since when i was kid, but i know that we are not living in the old testament days. Jesus died for us, and the bible said, beloved, let us love one another, means that we need to love every one, how can you love God if you hate yourself. i don't mean being gay is condemn by God, think about it who created every thing that you see around you? who created heaven and earth? and who created you? i don't want to say anything against your feeling, but consider the questions that i put in there, then ask yourself. Christ is not come to save the righteous but for the sinner.

Name: leonardo
Date posted: 2009-04-29 12:51 PM
Hometown: boca raton

Comment:

I love god and everything he has done for me and many others.I think that god has his time and place to change your decision and when the time comes, he will change the way you feel for men.I think that you should go to church and ask people to help you ( don't take it the bad way).I am sure that the only thing you need is help and you know what the CHURCH will offer it to you.I understand your decision and I am just a 14 year-old boy trying to help.If you want help you have got to really cry for it and feel and think that you are going to change. My sister always says that '' God will always give help to those who really want it the most ''so, I think you will be able to change your view,it may be diffcult but in gods name you will be able to change your life to better and stronger.

Name: David
Date posted: 2009-04-19 9:11 PM
Hometown: Tampa

Comment:

Being gay is not a sin - it's engaging in homosexual ACTS that make it a sin. The Bible says that a man should not lie with another man nor look at someone with lust in your heart. To live a sexually holy life, you need to either be married and chaste (and the Bible is CLEAR that marriage is between a man and a woman) or single and celibate. We are all sinners. We have all fallen short of the Glory of God. Just keep praying. Not to be miracled straight (God made you gay for a reason. Maybe that reason was to be an example to other gays?) but to be given the strength to push aside sinful desires for more Christlike ones. As a bi-sexual man and a Christian, I feel your pain.

Name: Justin
Date posted: 2009-04-03 4:22 PM
Hometown: Elk Grove

Comment:

I strongly believe in God. He is the creator of all things and I consider my self as one of His creations. I feel sexual attraction to the same sex, but I also dream of having my own family and kids, especially now that I am getting older. It is a battle everyday. It is tough when your body reacts one way and your mind thinks another. I can't help being aroused or stimulated when I see a good looking man, and at the same time I think that I should be feeling that way towards the opposite sex. Is this lust or love? Don't we lust after another and develop it into love? Isn't lust the trigger that makes us go into chase? That is the confusion and as much as I want to act on my feelings, I refrain. I am a virgin sexually or relationship wise at age of 35. I pray that we all find peace in our own hearts and be comfortable with the decisions we make.

Name: Jared
Date posted: 2009-03-31 5:01 AM
Hometown: Vancouver, WA

Comment:

In junior high I realized that my feelings toward males were not shared in common with my peers. Part of a vibrant baptist church I held many of the views I assume you hold. I knew these feelings would pass and I'd probably be interested in girls when the time came. At 16 I got a boyfriend. There is no doubt in my mind that the bible condemns homosexuality. This has stuck with me into college where I began realizing that I am gay and there is not a damn thing that will ever change that fact. Either I am an anomaly, something vile and inexcusable, or the bible is wrong. This is a matter of logical thinking. How could God so perfect and loving, create me just the way I am? I no longer accept the answer that I am not really gay. In the deepest core of my being I know what I am. So I can no longer accept the words of the bible. It's not easy being a closeted gay and closeted atheist. I'm working on coming out... with both. But I love it now. I love who I am.

Name: Kris
Date posted: 2009-03-22 4:25 PM
Hometown: Dupo

Comment:

Seriously..... I am going through the exact same thing as you. I absoultley love my faith and want to make God proud of me. I am always trying to turn myself into a better person, and that means not sinning aginst god by being gay....among other things. I once went to a frind of mines youth group....and they were talking about how God puts things here on earth..bad things ....things that can tempt us to sin. God puts these temptations here on earth not to lead us astray...but to bring us closer to him.When we overcome these temptations.....be it cheating on a test or being homosexual...they bring us closer to God. I am fighting aginst homosexuality , I know that this fight will not be easy but I will done my battle amour (my faith in God ) and I will continue to fight it. Please if anyone feel like they need help or can help me email me at -- sweetberry311@gmail.com I hope I helped. :)

Name: Nathan
Date posted: 2009-03-19 9:55 AM
Hometown: Monrovia, CA

Comment:

I am a Christian and in the closet at age 26. Recently I thought that is really sad. I do not think I will have a grand comming out ceremony but I am ready to just be me. I have been attracted to men from oh I cant remember was it 4, 5, or was it 6. When I was a kid I had no clue what gay was but I was making out with boys (never girls). There is no way that I could have said to myself at age 4 or whatever that I am choosing to be gay....because I had no clue what being gay was. You know what is strange...as a kid I was really open about kissing boys etc.. I was not closeted about it until I realized other people thought gay was bad. Look, I am gay and it is not because I had a tragic childhood and was rejected by my fellow peers. I had a great childhood, I was popular and had (and have) the best parents and sister.

Name: caleb.
Date posted: 2009-03-11 5:09 AM
Hometown: lalala land

Comment:

kyle, bullshit. tell me one verse where god DIRECTLY says that being gay is condemned and that all gays go to hell. give me any stupid verse that isnt from exodus where all those homophobic twats hide behind. your not going to change. if you even try you're just gonna keep hating yourself more and more until you just cant take it. i used to hate myself sooo much for being gay but then i realized that god wants you to respect YOURSELF. as it says in the lutheran prayer. i dont care if you're pentecostal. pentecostal beliefs arent much different from lutheran beliefs. respect yourslef. god wants you to love yourself as you love others which means he wants you to love both EQUALLY which means give yourself some respect too. learn how to love who you are and dont listen to those homophobic idiots who think they know everything. god created you. you are perfect in his eyes.

Name: A mad Person
Date posted: 2009-03-10 3:42 AM
Hometown: None Of Your Business

Comment:

You know what? This whole thing is stupid. Is it really anyones business what anyone else does? Leave people alone! And do you want my honest oppinion? I think everyone should choose to be happy no matter what a book says. I mean come on, god is suppose to love us right? Well loving someone means wanting them to be happy. And you are all sad excuses for christians to say that god is so selfish as to want people to change and do what a book says. God loves us and to love someone means wanting them to be happy gay or straight. So dont any of you dare ever say that god only loves people if they do what a book says because by saying that YOUR INSULTING GOD. But...how about a suggestion? Just to end this WHOLE SILLY AND POINTLESS DEBATE....why dont we just erase sexuality? Everyone should be A-sexual and no one should be attracted to anyone. No straight people and no gay people and no children and no future. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

Name: Matthew
Date posted: 2009-03-08 11:44 AM
Hometown: Illinois

Comment:

I was a student leader of my youth group, I sang, I played the piano, I immersed myself in church and the Bible. I was a model Christian basically. But For 7 years, I prayed, and read, and sought healing because I was gay and I believed so hard that I would be made right eventually for all the hard work I was doing to fight my "sin". So, from Junior High to college, I was filled with anger and hate and guilt because nothing changed my being gay. I was miserable for 7 years of my life, despite my mt strong faith.The day I couldn't take being depressed and hating myself anymore, I just gave in.It wasn't choosing to be gay, it was giving up on fighting what I had always been. It took weeks to learn not to hate everything I did, but when I did learn, I realized I was happier than I had ever been. Life wasn't given to us to be angry and unhappy. It's not worth it and God wouldn't make something that was meant to suffer for the entirety of it's existence.

Name: Rana
Date posted: 2009-02-25 7:21 AM
Hometown: amman

Comment:

Am not a lesbian or bi..but i DO NOT support you at all because this isnt what YOU want... being gay is the same as ANY other sin !!! why DONT WE PEOPLE start with the LARGE BIG SINS then we will think about whos GAY and whos NOT..!!!!! i dont think that God is THAT close minded.. u should accept who you are..and sorry but u cant change it..because its not like u chose to be gay..u were born with it like ur eye!!! u cant deny its there..even if u re blind you re sitll guna have EYES...!!whether u like it or not.. i say just try to work on ur confidents..and fight whoever tells u to be something else..people should accept you asu r not because of ur sexuality...PLUS people tend to do alot of PERVETED stuff in the bedroom..i dont see anyone talking about that!!!!!!! most of all the rapists and serial killers are STRAIGHT FYI ALL PEOPLE COULD BE BI !!!! I'LL PRAY FOR YOU TO BE WHO U R AND ACCEPT IT!!

Name: Denis
Date posted: 2009-02-21 12:04 AM
Hometown: south america

Comment:

hey, I totaly support you man!! I'm a Christian person too; from another church, and I'm fighting against it too; and I don't think God want us to be just what we choos to be, but he gave us commandments as cousels to guide ourselfs in life. It's hard for gay assumed people, to thing like us. but they are not happy either, so, they can't just judge us like people that never will be happy; like others said here, he will bless us for agreeing with him (God). it's being hard this fight for me until now, but I won't give up. I never had an homosexual relationship and I want to get married with a woman who can understand me and who can live the same principles I live. I'm not perfect, and sometimes, like you, have very hard moments, very rough moments, but a friend is helping me to have peace in my heart. my parents supports me in this too and they are trying to help me too.

Name: Keith
Date posted: 2009-02-19 3:11 AM
Hometown: Maple Valley

Comment:

Everyone listen up! God the universe or whatever you want to call it is talking through all of you no matter gay or straight. The most important thing for anyone to do is decide within themselfs what is the worst sin for them and go about repenting that sin in their own way. However, while this maybe or may not be the best way of looking at the situation every one should practice love. Just because you want to not be gay and resolve that with in yourself does not mean that others do. Furthmore, just because your gay and have resolved in youself to be gay does not mean that others do. However, everyone can practice acceptance of one another for who they are and what they choose to be. Just remember not to push your agendas or discontemps on others, rather push your understanding or acceptance upon one another.

Name: Scarlet
Date posted: 2009-02-09 2:48 PM
Hometown: Hokkadote

Comment:

If your beliefs suppress you and do nothing but cause you pain, then what is the use in keeping them? You do know that those passages were written by Romans who wanted to stop the trafficking of child sex slaves right? Because they thought it was immoral. I think it also talks about anal rape. I don't think God wants you to anally rape someone. But, if you're a Christian isn't the most important message conveyed in your bible to love one another? Or are you suggesting that your God made a mistake by making you Gay? Maybe God doesn't want you to go with the crowd that believe every word the bible says, maybe the reason he made you Gay is so that you could open your eyes aside from those in your community who embrace the world instead of hating it. I think any institution that teaches you to lie to yourself and to your society is wrong. In fact isn't that a greater sin than being Gay in the eyes of God?

Name: Felicia M. Lyons
Date posted: 2009-02-06 2:35 AM
Hometown: Palos Hills

Comment:

My message is for Kyle Rice. Kyle' you are misunderstanding a few things in regards to being as a Christian. Kyle' you are no longer Gay because you no longer comment the sin of homosexuality. Once you renounced and denounced this sin as well as repented before the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth you were forgiven and washed clean by the Blood of Jesus. It is simply a sin you and I use to do and nothing more. You are not and never will be the sins you have committed. This sin is common unto man and is listed in the Holy Bible among many other sins men and women do when they choose to live according to their sinful nature and not live according to the Holy Spirit. Galatians Chapter 5, Verses 16-21. You are a Child of God because you now walk according to His Will and not your own. I love you my Christian Brother.

Name: One of the many
Date posted: 2009-02-05 5:20 PM
Hometown: Florida

Comment:

I've been going though the same things. Even from when I was what, seven to eight years old I knew I was different. I don't sound gay, or look gay. I've had girlfriends, solely for the sake of removing any possible doubt people may have of me. I can honestly say I hate this aspect of myself. I can't imagine being grouped together with people so flamboyant, and will live a life of solitude if so necessary. I am not an extremely religious person, I attend church once in a blue moon. However, I always pray at night for people like myself, and I feel that's all I can really do. I have so much more to say, but I feel like it couldn't be put into words. Best regards.

Name: hoopz
Date posted: 2009-01-27 10:56 AM
Hometown: akron

Comment:

ok so i posted a comment on this pages before but i couldn't just leave it at that. I know i'm gay and I have recently chose to just accept myself because i know if i dont I'll hate myself more than anyone ever could hate me for being gay. I love the life i have now and for anyone out there dealing with a struggle within themselves about being gay note this no matter how many people you please it does not matter if when you lay your head down at night and you are truely unhappy with the life you lead God is about peace and love and if you do not have peace within yourself then how can you expect to have peace anywhere else if you cannot love yourself how can you expect others to love you. And trust me if you try to hide who you really are that pain you feel will only get worse and it will never go away I know from experience.

Name: Dave
Date posted: 2009-01-15 4:21 AM
Hometown: Atlanta

Comment:

Honestly, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. At the depth of it all God loves everyone no matter how evil you are. If you are a good person at heart, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight or bisexual. That has nothing to do with who you are as a person. You aren't more likely to commit violence because you're straight or gay. It's not like being straight causes people to do drugs and I know for a fact being gay doesn't make people abuse animals. Sure you may be critiscized for making one choice or the other and no it shouldn't be that way. It's your moral fortitude and how you choose to handle the challenges you face that dictates who you are. Just do your best to live a good life, be a good person at heart. We aren't perfect, we are all different and most of all we all want to be loved.

Name: Dave
Date posted: 2009-01-15 4:20 AM
Hometown: Atlanta

Comment:

Name: Lexi
Date posted: 2009-01-07 9:06 PM
Hometown: Lorain

Comment:

Wow, really? REALLY?? You don't stone people, women can speak in church, and how many Christians do you know tithe religiously (pun intended). You like men. Get over it. Live a MORAL life. The Bible, the Koran, the Torah, and even the great novels of our time give us the morals we need to live righteous and healthy lives. Be good to others, respect your parents, and love your BOYFRIEND as much as he deserves. No matter how much godly detox you go through, you will always be gay. Is that fair to your wife as you sit with her and tell her I love you when you know she will never fulfill you like a man would? BE WHO YOU ARE. If "God" is so great and so understanding, why would he tell you loving who you love is so wrong? You're not hurting anyone, the only thing the Bible is truly against anyway (if you want to sum the whole thing up in all honesty).

Name: matt
Date posted: 2009-01-06 3:14 AM
Hometown: Gold Coast

Comment:

WOW!!! I stumbled accross this sight by accident and now I am totally shocked to read some of these comments...I HATE BEING GAY CAUSE GOD SAYS ITS A SIN??? whatever!!!! Who ever tries to hide who there really are is setting them selves up for a missrable life... no amount of praying to god will help you. YOU ARE GAY!!! deal with it, you have one life be happy and make the most of it. just so you know I am gay, always have been and always will be. I live life to the max, I am not a campy queen type (not that there's any thing wrong with that) and I not pround to say but I am going to have a better life then you. cause I dont worry about dumb shit like this. hope you realise who you are one day.

Name: Confused and Conflicted
Date posted: 2009-01-04 6:18 PM
Hometown: Dallas

Comment:

I am a married guy and have been for 12 years. I have 1 child. I have felt an attraction to guys since I was in 1st grade. I fight this everyday, because I was raised to believe that this is wrong and not right. So I have always thought there was something wrong with me. I pray to God everyday to make it stop and go away, but it doesn't. I love my wife and my kid very much, but struggle with this attraction to men secretly. I am totally scared to tell anyway for fear of rejection and my whole world falling apart. I couldn't deal with that. I just struggle with the fact that if feeling this way is a Sin, why did I feel this way since was suck a very young age. It definitely wasn't something I learned at the age, I wasn't exposed to anything that would cause that. it was just the way I felt. Why would God allow for me to be born this way. I am still very conflicted by this. I pray for it to stop every day.

Name: RobbieP
Date posted: 2008-12-22 3:48 PM
Hometown: Toronto

Comment:

I'm amazed at the number of non-gay and anti-gay people who have posted comments here. You have plenty of forums in which to share your opinions with those of your ilk. Posting here just smacks of arrogance. Kyle, I'm gay and I'm black and I must say that what you have written saddens me. I think your opinions on homosexuality are incomplete and ill-informed but they are yours to hold. You are free to pursue a heterosexual life if that is what you choose but if you condemn homosexuality in order to achieve that goal, you will not have any sympathy from me. It does not strike me as particularly kind or Christian for you to rejoice in the fact that Supreme Courts have chosen to withhold rights from a segment of the population. I don't care if you are 16 or 61 if you choose to "focus on fighting efforts to force the 'gay agenda' on those of us who know God does not accept homosexuality" then I will be there to fight you. Always. Count on it.

Name: colin
Date posted: 2008-12-13 8:47 PM
Hometown: montreal

Comment:

wow, this was actually really disturbing to read. im 16, gay, and not religious, but as far as im concerned, god is love. a god which makes his children hate themselves, on the other hand, is not love. reading this, and all these pathetic comments, makes me almost feel guilty at having embraced and loved myself at such an early age. i dont want to insult your beliefs, but i find it hard to believe that an omnipotent and omniscient "god" revealed his word to humankind 2000 years ago. if the history of the world were a 24-hour clock, this time would represent less than a second. the reality of the universe far transcends a book written by men mere centuries ago. i believe in the infinite beauty and perfection of creation, and in the power of showing love to one another. i dont let these beliefs be clouded by an institutionalized faith which preaches hate. peace and love.

Name: Leslie
Date posted: 2008-12-10 6:51 PM
Hometown: Tucson

Comment:

God loves you just the way you are, Kyle. You're perfect the way He created you. To imagine God as the kind of vicious being that would condemn someone to Hell simply for being who they are is illogical. God is benevolent. God is love. And if you happen to fall in love with a man, and choose to express that love physically, I don't see why God would begrudge you that. He wants everyone to love eachother. He wants us to be happy and enjoy the lives He has blessed us with as we seek to do good works in His name. Do not hate yourself, Kyle -- ANY part of yourself -- because God loves every piece of you. Heart, mind, body, and soul. You are His child. We all are. And there's nothing wrong with being what you are.

Name: Catherine
Date posted: 2008-12-10 3:06 PM
Hometown: Clarksville, IN

Comment:

You are refusing a part of yourself and are being a coward. I am a straight female, but I know that no gay or bi person can fight their orientation. It cannot be changed, Psychology has proved this time and again (anyone telling you otherwise is lying). I am sick of people saying otherwise. People have deluded you of believing that your orientation can be changed when it is impossible. For the love of God, PLEASE accept who you are!! It is because of the rhetoric you're listening to that countless gay teens end up committing suicide because they're told that they are wicked when they are not. I refuse to believe that the loving God of Christianity who I believe in created gay people if they were to be persecuted by his so-called disciples.

Name: james
Date posted: 2008-12-08 1:08 AM
Hometown: dallas

Comment:

I am a christian, a virgin and a gay teen, I don't drink/ do drugs, I go to church every sunday. I love my boy friend with all my heart, and he loves me. We decided as a couple that we weren't going to have sex until we were married (yes I said married). When I told my parents (a minister and a headmistress) they went off and tried to send me to a re-hetero camp, yet my brother got his 16 yr old girlfriend pregnant and a drug fuelled party 6 weeks ago and they barely batted an eyelid. Double standards? They preached leviticus and all that. But nothing they said could change how I felt about Ben. I believe god made me this way and he loves me and Ben together.

Name: Colton
Date posted: 2008-12-06 10:05 PM
Hometown: KY

Comment:

I'm actually going through an extremely similar situation right now. I'm a 19-year-old bisexual who is mostly attracted to guys and I've just recently gotten myself into my first gay relationship. Living in an extremely closed-minded family, I know that my life could be made into a living hell if news every gets out that I am, in fact, bisexual. I constantly fear that one of my family members is going to find out, and worse, I've become depressed because I feel as though I'm going to be condemned to hell for feelings that I truly can't control. The constant barrage of the anti-gay movement takes a toll on everyone, and I've spent 5 years absolutely hating myself and spent the last 2 years being depressed and partially suicidal. I don't know how to deal with this new relationship, considering that I'm so scared of commitment, but I'm willing to try being who I am for once. Don't condemn me for what I can't help, because God is the only one who has that power.

Name: Ash
Date posted: 2008-12-04 2:30 PM
Hometown: Chicago

Comment:

I found myself in a similar situation. Just remember that the God who created who also has the power to change you. You seem to be well on your way in realizing that your sexual identity is only a very small part of your identity in Christ. Something that helped me, was the realization that this was not who I was, it was what I fight. It is separate from me. But we also have to remember that it is God that changes us, not us. We just have to try to take steps in the right direction (especially not feeding the sin with pornography, etc). I am not on my way to marriage to a wonderful woman, and do not feel attracted to men anymore. Praise God!

Name: Kathleen
Date posted: 2008-12-01 9:38 PM
Hometown: Nebraska

Comment:

The Bible was written by people, not God. If God condemns two consenting adults loving each other, he's an asshole. You can't control who you're attracted to. The only choice that gay people have is whether or not they're going to be true to themselves. Not being true to yourself isn't going to do anyone any good. It will only hinder your personal growth and happiness. I am a bisexual girl who is in love with another girl. My feelings for her are beautiful, and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don't ever tell me that what I feel for her is wrong. What would be wrong would be to deny feelings that are so strong and beautiful for someone as amazing as she is.

Name: Brittany
Date posted: 2008-11-25 12:30 PM
Hometown: Alabama

Comment:

I am a 20 year old bisexual. Right now i am pregnant and dating my girlfriend of 2 and a half years. I love her to death, but i made a mistake and cheated with this boy and got preg. Ive been gay since i can remember, mayber around 7 yrs old. Ive always been attracted to girls and their bodies. I have had sex with boys and dont really enjoy it like i do with girls. I also hate mens bodies. But a girls body is so beautiful to me. I grew up in church and my fam is religious. I told my mom i was gay at 16. She cried and prayed for me and is still dealing with it. She says she doesnt want my child growing up around that kind of stuff. I think about going to hell every now and then but im not going to stop doing what makes me happy just because what my family or other people say. Im not going to marry a man becus i wont be fully satisfied. And your friend that says he isnt gay anymore is lying, you cant fight that feeling, he may just be bisexual and living a lie. Believe me ive tried...

Name: Brittany
Date posted: 2008-11-25 12:23 PM
Hometown: Alabama

Comment:

Name: ...
Date posted: 2008-11-24 6:36 PM
Hometown: England

Comment:

carrying on from before: 5. how can you possibly compare a drug addiction to being gay? being gay isn't only about sex- sex only means as much in a gay relationship as it does in a straight one. and have you never heard of a SEX ADDICTION, an ACTUAL addiction that happens to straight people just as much as it does to gay people. 6. gay sex can be as much as an addiction as straight sex can. but i dont think that you were reffering to gay sex, just to being gay, which cant be true as, as i said earlier, being GAY is not a choice. i hated muself when i first found out i was gay, when i was fourteen, and even contemplated SUICIDE because i COULN'T change who i am. And its because of stereotypical views as yours that make us belive that what we are is wrong. it's not. its just as right to me as being straight is to you. now i'm 15 and i'm fine with who i am and i didn't need a church or any religion to make myself happy.

Name: ...
Date posted: 2008-11-24 6:34 PM
Hometown: England

Comment:

replying to rod's comment: 1. being gay myself, KNOW that being gay is not a choice, you can deny it and push it to the back of your mind but you will still be gay. 2. agreed. 3. so your saying that two gay men who love each other and have sex is a sin when two straight people having sex is not? what is the difference? surely it shouldnt matter what gender the person is, just whether you love each other. 4. being gay is NOT popular, if you think that it is then you must be totally oblivious to the prejudice and discrimination gay people suffer. and you're saying that a gay person should never be happy throughtout the entirety of their lives by denying the love of another man because it is a 'sin'?

Name: Mel
Date posted: 2008-11-23 8:30 AM
Hometown: Cambridge

Comment:

Michael from Allentown, I think you have hit the nail on the head! I don't have a problem with being gay but hate the behaviour of most gay guys out there. I am talking from experience. Many claim to be 'stereotyped' but act in a stereotypical way! Someone else said that love is the most important thing & I whole-heartedly agree. I know there is a God & whilst I have endured the many quoting Levitical law, look in the New Testament (and I am not a 'Bible Basher'!) 'Judge not, lest ye be judged' 'Let him who is without sin cast the first stone' etc. Quite clearly, all the world needs is a little more love. I WAS BORN GAY & one day I'm sure this will all be explained (cos I can't explain it!). I am single by choice at the minute & do not 'cruise' etc etc. We should stick together. Monogamy must be a possibilty!! Take care & God Bless

Name: The Revelator
Date posted: 2008-11-21 2:49 AM
Hometown: Bluefield

Comment:

Being gay is so over-rated. I've struggled with it for some time to discover it just like any other sin. If I come to all of your homes and take the car out the front yard and drive off you will get so mad, you will yell and scream things like "how can you do that, what is wrong with you and you're going to hell." My reply will be "how can stealing be wrong if it makes me feel good. How can I be put in jail for something if I've always liked doing it? Honestly, the car could be given to my wife and we could actually use it for good and have many loving great times in it, therefore how can it be wrong to steal it? See we seperate sins but it's all the same. You're reading this right now saying that there's clearly a difference but is there. No matter when it started, no matter how passionate you feel about it, no matter how much good has come of it.....it's still sin, it's still wrong.

Name: Phil
Date posted: 2008-11-20 7:59 PM
Hometown: Philadelphia

Comment:

I think it's funny how people pick and choose certain things out of the bible. Adultery, having a child out of wedlock, and many other things are prohibited in the bible, but people are way more lenient with those things than homosexuality. Being gay is NOT a choice. Those feelings are there for a reason, not to be chosen. You don't just wake up one day, and say "Hey, I think I'm gonna like guys today or I'm gonna like girls today." That doesn't make any sense. Also, people who are not personally gay really have no right speaking about homosexuality. That is like me saying airplanes are scary even though I've never been on one. But since a lot of other people think airplanes are scary, then they must be. People are stupid sometimes.

Name: Donna
Date posted: 2008-11-16 9:20 AM
Hometown: California

Comment:

I am 46 Female, I love my wife with all my heart. I have struggled since I was very young with these feelings. I was married for 16 years, I have a beautiful daughter and 2 grand babies. I couldn't fight any more and I couldn;t live a lie any more to myself or my friends and family. I am the person God created me to be. I was in music ministry for 12 years. Do I Believe Gay is a choice? No, I don't. Why would someone want to be made fun of,and treated like freaks? Why would God create us, and then put us in Hell? It says that God knew us in our mothers womb. Then he knew I was gay. I have found that excepting who I am and loving myself for who I am makes me a lot happier than beating myself up every single day. I don't love being gay. But I do love the soul mate that God has blessed me with. I'm sad that you have CHOSEN to be unhappy and misrable the rest of your life instead of living the life that God has given you. GOD BLESS YOU

Name: Robert
Date posted: 2008-11-16 4:38 AM
Hometown: lithonia, GA

Comment:

Felicity, God’s not gay.God is not man.nor woman. not human, nor animal. But a spirit. An entity, that cannot be summed up in Human terms. We can try but saying he is Gay because we are gay just doesn't make sense. You stated he doesn't want us to be unhappy so be free to do it.Well Out there, there is some 50 yr old man who just wants to have some little 6 or 7 year old girl. In fact, if he could just get a few of them he would be Happy! Have I proven my point? Life is not about just making urself happy, or indulging in ur flesh. YES God loves that man.He loves You, Me,the straight person, or the Worst or Best of us.But still no excuse to Not control your flesh, whether, straight/gay, and jump into a lifestyle constantly denying God, whether its sex all day wit men, women, or a steady denial of Christ. The issue is Love God. dealing with it all aint easy, nor have I all the answers, but just cuz God doesn't want us unhappy doesn't mean jus please ourselves however we want.

Name: Daniel
Date posted: 2008-11-14 3:30 PM
Hometown: Boston

Comment:

I understand how you feel. I am fighting this too. In case you wanted to know, having those kind of feelings in and of itself isn't a sin. It's where those feelings TAKE you that can be sinful. As long as nothing comes from it, it's not a sin. And being gay isn't like a part of you're genetic structure or anything, it's not necessarily permanent. Tell yourself you're only confused, confusion can exist. Pray to God, of course, but also pray to our mother Mary. She is the person to go to about sexual sins. I have a small medallion with her image on it that was blessed. I always have it on, and it seems to help comfort me. Remember, no matter what, God is ALWAYS there to help you. I recommend the rosary, and just talk to God. Don't put yourself in a situation that can lead to sin, and don't worry about it. I am Roman Catholic, but we are both Christians one in the same. May God bless you.

Name: Andrew
Date posted: 2008-11-14 1:17 PM
Hometown: Douglas, MA

Comment:

You say you will not accept being gay, but you call yourself a gay christian acknowledging that it is part of your identity. Something for you to ponder is that accepting your homosexuality does not mean making it your whole identity. The way I see it is that I am not a gay person, I am a person who has homosexual feelings, and I have no control over that. Therefore, I can free myself from guilt. Another thing to realize is that orientation change is impossible. It doesn't happen and most ex-gay organizations admit this. Check the statistics and you will find this to be true. Orientation is part of who we are right down to brain chemistry and it isn't something we can get rid of. That doesn't mean you have to like it and you can fight against it if you choose, but it will be better for you if you start by accepting the facts. Always remember no matter what your religious affiliation: There is Nothing You Can Do to Make GOD Stop Loving You.

Name: Rod
Date posted: 2008-11-12 12:50 AM
Hometown: deep south, USA

Comment:

1. God did not make any of us gay. 2. Having gay feelings is not a sin. 3. Acting on gay feelings IS a sin. God gives everyone a choice. You can CHOOSE to follow Him, or choose to follow your own desires. 4. Eternity is too long to spend in hell because you did what was easy and popular to "be happy" A Christians life is to serve God by bringing honor and glory to Him. 5. Gay churches are disgusting, we may as well open up drug churches and abortion churches to cater to all the other sins and addictions. 6. I believe being gay is an addition, just like gambling,porn, or tobacco. 7. People who only believe parts of the Bible and not other parts are saying Gods word is not real. 8. God CAN do anything, including make a gay person straight. If JOB can endure all he did we can too!

Name: Felicity
Date posted: 2008-11-10 3:48 AM
Hometown: Las Vegas, Nevada

Comment:

You people are so sad. Your gay, why can't you just accept that? Being gay is not, IS NOT a sin! If you were born this way, then why do you hate yourself, beacuse God told you to? Yes, in the bible it states that being gay is a sin, HOWEVER it also states that all men are created equal in the eyes of God, so, being gay is equal to god. Doesn't it say that we all come from God? So, in that sense, that would make god gay too. I'm betting on that God will forgive all of there sins, he would not you to be unhappy in your life. If being wth men makes you happy, then by all means go for it!! Don't read the bible though, might not be true, still, he would want you to be happy with your life. If your truly sorry, he will forive you.

Name: Joshua Mueller
Date posted: 2008-11-09 1:13 PM
Hometown: La Crosse, WI

Comment:

I don't even know what to say here. I'm so sad right now for reading this. I don't think being gay is a sin. I think being gay can turn into a sin, but so can being straight. I know I didn't choose to be gay, nor do I think I can change it. We sin everyday with out even realizing it and I think as long as we stay true to ourselves and to God nothing bad can happen. Jesus hung around alot of different people. Rich, poor, diseased, and even criminals. What makes you think he wouldn't love a gay person just like any other? What makes you think that you as a creation of God could be flawed in anyway? We are what we were born as or what God created us as first. We are what we decide to be and decide to do second. I never decided to be gay.

Name: Robert
Date posted: 2008-11-06 5:05 AM
Hometown: Lithonia, GA

Comment:

For those who say following the Bible means you're not living YOUR life....that's exactly the point! Christianity is a denial of self in order to serve God! It's dying to your flesh. It's NOT MY life, but the life God gave me, in hopes of serving Him. It can be difficult at times though. It's no easy path. But it is a REAL one! I'm a Real person, dealing with a Real struggle, and depending on a Real God. Because, this is a BIG thorn in my flesh, but if I were perfect...then I'd be God himself. And God told Peter, that his thorn in his flesh was there to keep him humbled. Though that may not be the case for every person struggling with this.... I already said I don't know it all. But this is tough. We must depend on God. And for those who aren't Christians, depend on whatever you can to make it through this successfully. Don't be afraid to keep trying God though. But let's ALL be encouraged!

Name: Robert
Date posted: 2008-11-06 5:04 AM
Hometown: Lithonia, GA

Comment:

As far as in the Bible...yes it's wrong according to the Bible. Just as is lying. Just as is Stealing. Just as is putting other things before God. Just as is lusting. But this doesn't mean you can just do it. And so having the desire is not where the sin comes in, but ACTING on the desire and not controlling your flesh is the sin. It IS look but don't touch...but to be honest, you can't just go through life touching everything you look at. You can't eat everything you touch and You can't swallow everything you taste, otherwise, you'll eventually come around to POISON. So it's about CONTROLLING your flesh, so that it doesn't control you. Whether Straight or Gay. The author said it...my relationship with Christ is not built on the fact that I struggle with being gay. I'm not perfect, nor do I have it all together...in fact...I just hit a downward spiral 10 min ago, got fed up, and Googled "I hate being Gay," but after reading...I just started typing.

Name: oscar
Date posted: 2008-10-30 8:01 PM
Hometown: los angeles

Comment:

Homosexuality exists in the animal kingdom and it makes sense that a small percentage of the population maybe genetically predisposed to being gay. If God made us in his own image and we are perfect the way we are then it would stand to reason that as a gay man i am perfect the way I am in God's eyes. It is important for each of us to come to our understanding of religion versus spirituality. For me God is love and anything else is based on a thought system rooted in fear. If i am coming from guilt, eventually it will become unbearable to contain and I will project this out into the world and attack it, thus creating a never ending spiral of suffering and discontent. He did not intend for us live alone or live in gay ghettos or think ourselves as gay lepers. If you love thy neighbor as yourself you cant go wrong.

Name: Ryan
Date posted: 2008-10-27 7:34 PM
Hometown: Buffalo NY

Comment:

I feel so sad for some of you guys, and especially for the author of the article. I, too, grew up in a devoutly religious family, and as early as 7 years old I would be up late at night crying and asking God why he made me gay and praying that I would someday not be gay. I felt alienated from the other kids in school and would go through hell thinking about and agonizing over my sexuality. Now that I'm all grown up, I've rejected God, accepted my homosexuality, found open and loving friends, and am even working on coming out to my family. I can't even tell you how much happier I am with life. Someone earlier said you can go from being 100% gay to 100% straight. And the author mentioned his "ex-gay" friend is now in love with a girl. This is so laughable. These people are lying to themselves; you know it and I know it. You can't change who you are, and it's so sad that you'll never find true happiness with your attitude.

Name: Somebody.
Date posted: 2008-10-20 6:53 PM
Hometown: Santiago, Dominican Republic

Comment:

I'm scared of coming out, i live in Dominican Republic, for those who don't know the country is best known for its playboys straight up macho manly. Different to the USA which is kinda gay-friendly compared with here, gay people are seen like rats. Being gay here means EVERY MAN and most women shouting nasty things at you, people put you at last in everything, when you are gay , you're at the bottom of the social ladder. DOMINICAN REPUBLIC hates gay people. My father was a playboy since he was a kid, my step brothers are all manly with their girlfriends and wifes, they play tons of sports and have a lot of man friends. And here i am, i'm 16, virgin, never been kissed, fat and last but not least GAY. I HATE MY LIFE, i seriously think of killing myself everyday but i'm to coward to even do that.

Name: anonymous teenager
Date posted: 2008-10-14 7:03 AM
Hometown: San Francisco

Comment:

im 16, and im reading this article because im trying to know if there's a way i can change this. its only because i dont want my family to be disappointed. yes, im thinking of others, rather myself first. but its been like this since i was a kid. i havent come out of the closet yet. and im trying to find ways. im not in to the bible that much. and i dont think it'll help either. a lot of times, i prayed and asked Him why he made me this way, and i kept asking Him signs, but nothing ever happens. or am i just not looking closely? i dont want to be gay, but if that cant be change, the problem now is coming out. which is why im afraid to tell others, because the problems will only get longer and harder. my greatest fear is being alone.

Name: DO WATEVA MAKES U HAPPY!
Date posted: 2008-10-07 10:07 PM
Hometown: LONDON

Comment:

Just choose the option which makes you happy at the end of the day its ur life live it the way u want it so that u only hav to blame urself if things go wrong. So if by keeping ure desires at bay u feel happy bwt urself then control ur desires. If u dont feel guilty depressed and whatnot bwt being gay then my advice is just continue 'being gay' (I know this word sound funny). Being gay is a bit of both upbringing and genetics (ure born wiv it). But it's like anger - its either natural or u may hav been brought up in such environment that its becme part of ure persona; wateva the reason being get hot-tempered easily its usually the case that these ppl wanna change. What i'm trying to say is that if u feel that there's something that needs changing, then change it just as long as it MAKES U HAPPY! So dont let anyone tell u any betta. PS. God loves u more because u kept ure desires to please him and remember that God is not in need of Man verily it is Man who is in need of God.

Name: Kyle Weiss
Date posted: 2008-10-01 3:10 AM
Hometown: Reno, NV

Comment:

There is nothing wrong with being gay. It has been a "moral," issue religiously in the last 2000 or so years, and not just Christianity. I'm no fan of religion, I find it causes as much trouble as it does help people feel secure. Sure, the same organization that houses people from off the street may have led to that (gay?) person getting kicked out in the first place. Or, take Islam, who preaches peaces however extremists fly planes into buildings? Too complicated. That's why I proudly avoid church and religion. Though I’m relatively conservative, and I’m gay. I have better things to do on a Sunday anyway. Like fishing. I really have no advice for you, probably except find a god that accepts you, not one that makes you feel awful for being what feels natural to you. Seems like common sense. Or just ditch the church idea altogether but retain your values and develop your own spiritual relationship. KW

Name: Sophie
Date posted: 2008-09-28 9:06 AM
Hometown: Uithoorn

Comment:

o my god people come on... this is pathetic what do you see when you look at your life? it sucks, you guys feel alone an probably really unhappy. and you choose for it yourself! come on, love is the most important thing in the world, thats why you feel so unhappy cause is soo important. and if you as a man feel attracted to other man then thats were your happiness is! the relationship with a man, love, hapiness caring etc. , someone who will make you feel the most happiest man in the world. and you all block your own happines just for your believe your a sinner..? didnt god wanted just the good thngs for people? if he loves you he want you to live a happy life, and he knows there are (many!!)gay people so you also have the right to be happy living a gay-lifestyle. its so stupid to me to suffer your whole life just cause you just cant think clear for one moment and see it dont have to be like this! come on people there are many happy gay people on earth, be one too.....

Name: John Hanses
Date posted: 2008-09-17 12:11 PM
Hometown: Auburn California

Comment:

I am 50 years old. I knew I was attracted to men when I was 8 yrs old. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 14. I had many girlfiends and was never attracted to them sexually as I was the boys. The fear of HIV and the sleepless nights of stomach aches and heartache I feel when I indulge in emotionally empty sex with men is awful. And I'm still not content to be Gay. Each time I have indulged my body in sexual fulfillment with a man it has left me just as empty as before, On the other hand the Peace I have with God and the JOY i feel when I am obedient to His call to be celibate is overwhelming. With all that said I know God loves me and forgives me and I keep trying. I will never stop trying ..... Please don't give up your faith just because you struggle with a sin or weakness, you are no different than any other sinner. someday we will all overcome when Jesus returns. Keep the Faith guys.

Name: Michael
Date posted: 2008-09-02 9:49 AM
Hometown: Allentown

Comment:

I dont hate being gay as much as I hate what goes on in the gay community and lifestyle in general. Monogamy is a joke, commitment is a bad word, youth rules, penis size is everything,etc..I recently met someone who announced to me that he has a partner but both fool around whenever..("its just sex", he said). He didn't even think for a moment how bad that made me feel that somone just used me. Maybe it wasn't "just sex" to me. Maybe I would like to practice monogamy, but with whom? I am alone as always, and I think the gay lifestyle just takes the best years of my life and wastes them. Its a hopeless endeavor. Where are the websites for gay men who are committed to monogamy? I know I can't change my sexuality. I tried that for years and ended up having a break-down. What I need is a good man who shares my traditional values. FAT CHANCE. I dont think there are enough years left to look.

Name: chis
Date posted: 2008-08-04 10:42 AM
Hometown: nigeria

Comment:

when i was 12 i used to think of being with man, i never knew why i did that and never bothered to knowwhy, not until i was 15 b4 i figured out the meaing of the word gay, then i knew what i was i got to find out that we were not accepted in the society so i cld not tell any one, i just watched porn clip on net and all that,then i knew i was bi-sexual and that as is a sin, then i asked mself y God left me this way i creid even till now i do so, but to day when saw that i am alone in this thing i feel more relived, i have never had any sexual intercourse with either male or female, sometime when i am hory my dick hurt and i can't even bring ma self to mastubate it. i really need help, i have never dated any one, i am will to leave my gay need unattened but i can stop think of being with a man

Name: nathan
Date posted: 2008-07-18 6:41 AM
Hometown: london

Comment:

im sorry but that to me is just shllow "just embrace yourself be proud" or what ever tou say I believe that people CAN change sexuality but it does take determination and faith the amount of ex gays under the age a 25 is unbelieveble but its true they have gone from being 100 per cent gay to 100 per cent hetro so no one can try and tell my that you can't change yourself because you can some through hypnosis some through religon and i've evn heard of people using witchcraft to be attracted to girls (or men if your ab ex lesbian) No one is born gay if anything its all in the mind the brian is the most powerful organ in our bodies the brian controls everything BUT not everything we ourselves can change the way our brain works I know what is like to be confused and thinking that your gay and its awful but i myself will win out AND SO CAN YOU! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GAY ANYMORE and don't let anyone tell you different because they themselves have given up

Name: jackky
Date posted: 2008-07-17 1:20 PM
Hometown: singapore

Comment:

im not christian but im 21.this is the first time i searched "i am gay but i hate it" and chanced upon this site and found so many others like me..i kept thinking i was alone and all.. i think ive discovered tt i was gay when i was abt 12 and since then i had crushes on guys from my sch but i didnt do anything..ive NEVER had any gay experiences or whatever because morally, i find it very wrong and its contradicting what im believing in...and it sucks..its as tho im suppressing my inner feelings but there is just no way im gonna find a boyfriend or whatever..its really hurting to suffer such feelings when i didnt CHOOSE to be gay..i juz wanna lead a normal life..but i totally dont have any feelings for girls!! i just wanna have someone there for me and to have the right to love somebody...

Name: Speedieg
Date posted: 2008-07-11 10:21 PM
Hometown: Atlanta, GA

Comment:

I"m gay as well and I am perfectly happy with myself. My partner and I have been together in a monogamous relationship for 17 years. We are both out to our families and out at work. I lead a team of Engineers for a large company and no one gives a crap about my gayness. I know I was born this way, I have known since I was 6 years old that I was gay. I have never allowed anyone to cause me pain or grief over being different. The only issue I feel that I have ever had to deal with was to be twice as good as others in order to get ahead. Even though this was sometimes difficult it made me stronger, better and smarter than others and has contributed to my success. I do believe in God,but not the vengeful, condemning God that you all do. I feel very sad for you all and hope that God gives you the strength to overcome your self loathing and free yourself to be who you were born to be.

Name: Drew
Date posted: 2008-07-07 4:56 PM
Hometown: Provo, UT

Comment:

I have myself experienced a similar issue. I felt as though I was gay for many years, and even acted out homosexually, but never felt like it was really who I was. Luckily, even though the world says entirely differently, I was able (of my own choice and volition) to find help and completely reorient myself. It is possible, and, if you believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ, even necessary. I agree that homosexual behavior is sinful, but that doesn't mean that feeling homosexual feelings is necessarily a sin. There is help. I have actually written a book based on my experiences, and hope it will help others, as other works helped me through my process.

Name: Jacob Kanduch
Date posted: 2008-07-05 10:49 PM
Hometown: San Francsico

Comment:

Epidemic of Gay Christian young men not being able to even afford to get involved in the financial risk of a marriage with a women or man, especially in the city. Christian gays with Bible upbringing, trying to deal with the body he lives in, constant sexual desires he's told to suppress until he is married. Culture and society making it financially impossible to settle down and have a family. Hes really gay & does not want to mess up a womens life not being able to have sex with her. He's plagued with the idea it's a sin to relieve himself masturbate & ya cant have sex before marriage, fornication. We have these sexual desires & must continue to suppress them until marriage or else its a sin & we'll goto hell if we get off with a guy? I didnt choose to be gay. Its not the funnest thing to deal with. Especially if you Love God & desire things to be perfect the way & society wants them to be.Don't get it

Name: K-Bob
Date posted: 2008-06-28 4:52 AM
Hometown: Durango

Comment:

Hi im 17 years old and since i was thirteen i have felt gay at first i told my self it was just puberty and i would grow out of it some times i wonder if i still will. I go through stages were i can withold my urges( which i have shamefullyacted on about five times) then other times its so hard i just find myself gazing at guys and looking at them on the internet. I have prayed for the last two and a half years for god to help we stop and i think i just cant hold my end for god to help me. my mother loves me but she doesnt know about it she has caught me looking at porn once and i swore it was only once but its so hard not to tell my parents the truth. I hate who i am i act as interested in girls as i can and even date but still have urges that sometimes i cant control. I think maybe people are born gay but i dont understand why god would curse me with such a disease. I hope one day to be straight but am afraid to reach out to anybody in fear my parents will find out.

Name: K-Bob
Date posted: 2008-06-28 4:32 AM
Hometown: Durango

Comment:

Name: lostandfound
Date posted: 2008-06-17 2:22 PM
Hometown: USA

Comment:

Okay.. i have gone through this and have done the same. I went away and did mission work for 12 years, did penance, fasts, disciplins, prayed, begged, cried, pleaded.. and NOTHING worked. I took medicine from a doctor "known" for "curing" homosexuality. I went to therapists who claimed it came from my dad not loving me enough (hmmm. i'm home and gay and he is my best friend... hmmmm).. now i had my frist gay relationship and it was AWESOME. I have had girls after me and STILL after me.. if not to marry, they just want sex from me... but i just don't have any urge to sleep with a woman. Now i can understand misfortune or sickness as a "cross" to carry. But when this is a matter of LOVING another person intimately then i don't agree with that anymore. I love Jesus so much and pray to Him daily. I don't believe homosexuality is a sin.

Name: Derek
Date posted: 2008-06-16 11:34 PM
Hometown: Kinston

Comment:

Well guys, I am a straight male, married, and a Christian. I totally believe that people are "born" gay and cannot help it. However, I do feel that one has to live with these feelings in a Christian way. I have a debilitating disease and I ask God everyday to get rid of it if it is His will. I hate this disease, but God has given it to me for a purpose. Today I embrace it and find ways of using my disease to spread the gospel of Christ. Maybe you all can do that to. What if there was a gene that made someone attracted to the same sex? Would that be normal or an abnormaity? Is my diesease normal oran abnormality? Just asking. Keep the faith, live by God's word, and join together my brothers. Love to all!

Name: Sean
Date posted: 2008-06-03 8:01 PM
Hometown: Salt Lake City

Comment:

I am a gay Mormon. As long as I can remember I have been attracted to men and have never acted on this attraction. I served as a missionary and was surrounded by the most beautiful men, includind my companions, it was pure hell. After my mission I forced myself to date girls and eventually married in the Mormon Temple. I have one child and am still married and do love my wife but nevertheless and clearly am living a lie. I do not enjoy sex with my wife and find myself wishing I were having sex with a man. I have done everything I can think of to obey the commandments of God and have pleaded with the Lord everyday of my life to remove this heavy burden, but to no avail. I have no answers, I have no advice, I have lost hope and I feel completely alone .

Name: Jeff
Date posted: 2008-05-22 2:58 AM
Hometown: Juneau

Comment:

I am 50 years old and I can relate entirely to this issue. I can remember "doing things" with other boys when I was about 8. I didn't think anything about it until I was much older. In high school I was a jock, therefore, in my friends' eyes, I was straight. I had crushes on other boys but I never followed through with them. I have never been able to tell my family that I am gay, although I wonder very often that they must be pretty stupid or in denial to not know. I am sad and alone, although I have a lot of friends. I imagine my life as being intimately lonely, and relief will come when I die ... I'm not suicidal! However, I have always thought that a big relief will occur when I pass.

Name: derek
Date posted: 2008-05-17 6:21 AM
Hometown: indianapolis

Comment:

pathedic i dont like being gay either but suck it up think about this you read the bible yes it says its a sin and evil woo sos eating shellfish yet so many ppl do and if god knows all before he even made this planet he know what we do how we feel homie think if he had such a problem do you really think wed be here it may be gods word but was writen by man havent you ever play the game where you sit in a circle and tell a story to soemone beside you and they pass it on and by the time it gets back its compleatly different show some honor and backbone self hate dont help it just makes you feel worse and if youve been dealign with this for so long you should know it dont go away and hating yourself makes it eat at you like the damn plage

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