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What now, Grandpa Cheney?

So Vice President Dick Cheney is going to be a grandfather again, this time to the baby his daughter Mary is having with her partner. Too bad the Bush administration has made life harder for families headed by lesbians and gays. A reality check.
An Advocate.com exclusive posted December 7, 2006
What now, Grandpa Cheney?

The news of Mary Cheney’s pregnancy exemplifies once again how the best interests of children are denied when lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents are treated unfairly and accorded different and unequal rights and responsibilities than other parents. As Mary and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, enter into the life-changing roles of parents, they will quickly face the reality that no matter how loved their child will be—by its mothers and its grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and close family friends—he or she will never have the same protections that other children born to heterosexual couples enjoy.

It is a wonderful thing whenever a child is brought into the world by loving parents. We want to be among the first to congratulate the couple and welcome them into the community of families headed by lesbian and gay couples throughout the nation. Unfortunately, we also feel a duty to warn them of the challenges they are going to face because of the unfair treatment of lesbian and gay parents that has been codified into law at both the state and federal level in the United States—legal changes that have resulted in large part due to the political strategies of the Bush administration. That administration's second-in-command, Vice President Dick Cheney, will be the baby's grandfather.

Mary and Heather live in Virginia. Unless they move to a handful of less restrictive states, Heather will never be able to have a legal relationship with her child. If something were to happen to Mary and Heather needed to advocate for their child in an emergency room, at school, in the courts, the state of Virginia would not recognize Heather as a parent to their child. If Mary some day chose to deny Heather access to their children in terms of custody or visitation, Heather would have no legal standing to challenge her actions. If Heather chose to walk away from her life with Mary and their family, Mary would have no recourse to pursue child support to help her care for and raise the children that together she and Heather brought into the world.

Just as important, however, are the thousands of day-to-day challenges of interacting in the world as a family with two mommies that will impact Mary and Heather’s child. Mary and Heather and their child, like the rest of American lesbian- and gay-headed families, will face the prejudice and homophobia that continue to run rampant against gay men and lesbians and their children. Mary and Heather will face the heartbreaking realities of trying to protect their child from hostile looks and comments and the more subtle indignities of the less-than-full American citizenship that they will have to face throughout their lives.

The tragedy here is that this climate of hostility toward the LGBT community has only worsened during an administration in which Mary's father—Grandpa Cheney—has been second in command. Vice President Cheney has been complicit in the largest full-scale attack on the LGBT community in modern history. He, his President, and his political party have repeatedly scapegoated the LGBT community and LGBT families as part of a calculated political strategy; the Bush administration has attacked at all levels the rights and protections his own daughter will need to ensure a strong, healthy, and legally protected family.

Family is a defining part of who we are and is a strong part of the American fabric. For Mary Cheney and Heather Poe, it is no different. They are excited to build their own family. According to statements from the Vice President’s office, their child will be welcomed into the extended Cheney family. However, what is unfair and appalling is that the child and its parents will not be equally welcomed into the extended American family. Like all new parents, Mary and Heather will endure many nights of sleep deprivation in the months following the birth of their child. However, as he looks into the face of his new grandchild, Grandfather Cheney will no doubt face a lifetime of sleepless nights as he reflects on the irreparable harm he and his administration have done to his own grandchild—and the millions of American gay and lesbian parents and their children.

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