Labor of Love  | First Person | Advocate.com

||  First Person  ||
Labor of Love
Thomas Beatie gives The Advocate a first-person account of how it feels to be pregnant and carrying a child for his wife and himself.
Thomas Beatie
From The Advocate March 26, 2008
Labor of Love

To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we live, we are viewed just as we are -- a happy couple deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first home, and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child.

I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.

Ten years ago, when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20 years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is unable to carry a child. But after the success of our custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy.

Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.

Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: Aldo
    Date posted: 2008-05-15 4:25 PM
    Hometown: Iowa

    Comment:

    This is totally wrong, she is not a man, therefore she is not the first pregnant man, because she wanted to change her sex doesn't mean she is a man, in fact she is a woman trying to be a man, thats why she was pregnant, because she is a woman, men cannot be pregnant, obviously!. The person who wrote this article should edit it, and replace he and his for she and her. This is grammatically wrong.

  • Name: Alisen
    Date posted: 2008-05-14 3:13 PM
    Hometown: Chaska

    Comment:

    that is the most beautiful thing i have ever heard! this world is truley amazing if a guy can have a baby...even in special curcumstances i know, but it is truely a blessing! i wish them all the luck an love in the world and kudos to them for doing what is in thier hearts and not being afraid! Peace Love Unity and Respect!

  • Name: No name
    Date posted: 2008-05-13 5:54 PM
    Hometown: Israel

    Comment:

    Thomas hi have u ever read the MIDDLESEX book, u should read it. About ur story i guess it's not a big deal that a woman getts pregnant, cause inside u r a woman, u just changed that by taking medicine or having operations. Good luck Tracy (THOMAS) hope to see soon ur baby girl.

  • Name: Melissa
    Date posted: 2008-05-12 11:28 AM
    Hometown: baltimore

    Comment:

    Good luck, Thomas! I hope you don't get harassed about your situation.

  • Name: carol
    Date posted: 2008-05-12 10:24 AM
    Hometown: califor.

    Comment:

    you are sexually confused

  • Name: Aleasha
    Date posted: 2008-05-10 5:05 PM
    Hometown: Providence, RI

    Comment:

    Absolutely Brilliant! Congrats on your bundle of joy!

  • Name: Nicole
    Date posted: 2008-05-10 3:14 PM
    Hometown: Dubai

    Comment:

    Wow! I just watched this on Oprah and I'm amazed. I really hope they don't get targeted by the crazies and I wish them all a long and happy life together.

  • Name: Truth E. Ness
    Date posted: 2008-05-06
    Hometown: San Francisco

    Comment:

    I don't see the problem.

Back to top

Submit a comment for this story:

*Type your comment here (Required, 1000 characters max.):

*Name (Required): 

*Hometown (Required): 

*E-mail address: (Required, but will not be displayed)

Is this comment for publication? 
Yes   No

Daytime phone number: (Required for print publication only and will not be displayed)

Please enter the words you see in the box, in order and separated by a space. Doing so helps prevent automated programs from abusing this service.

  

If you would like to submit a comment for posting, please fill out the form above. 

All comments submitted via this form are subject to posting or publication. (To send a private letter to an Advocate editor or writer, please use the e-mail button at the top of the page, or use snail mail.) If you would like your comment considered for publication in The Advocate magazine, please include your full name, your city of residence, and a phone number where you can be reached during business hours so that we can confirm your identity. Your e-mail address and telephone number are strictly confidential and will not be shared or used for any purpose other than to contact you about your comment.

Comments that do not concern specific articles in The Advocate or on Advocate.com will not be posted or published. See the Contact page for sending comments for reasons other than responding to Advocate editorial and news stories.

Please note that comments sent by fax or snail mail are unlikely to be posted, although they will be considered for publication along with all letters received via e-mail or via this Web page. Comments that chiefly concern Advocate.com content will be considered for posting only on the Web site. The Advocate reserves the right to edit submitted comments for grammar, spelling, obscenities, or libel; we will, however, do our best to preserve the original comment's style and intent. Comments considered for publication in The Advocate magazine may also be edited for length.