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On Gay Marriage: A Letter From a GOP Mom Re: Sarah Palin

A registered Republican from the swing state of Ohio has a few questions for Sarah Palin and John McCain on the heels of Palin's vice-presidential debate. Specifically, Kim Peters wants to know: Just how "tolerant" would a McCain White House be of Peters's lesbian daughter?
An Advocate.com exclusive posted October 10, 2008
On Gay Marriage: A Letter From a GOP Mom Re: Sarah Palin

Last Thursday, during the much-anticipated vice-presidential debate between Republican Alaska governor Sarah Palin and her Democratic challenger, Sen. Joseph Biden, both candidates were asked about their views on equal benefits for lesbian and gay couples, and, in particular, their support (or lack thereof) for extending state-level domestic-partner benefits, like those in Alaska, at the federal level.

What few people realized, however, is that the question itself was flawed, and Governor Palin was allowed to take credit for progress she personally tried to prohibit.

You see, while the Alaskan supreme court ruled that the partners of state employees should indeed enjoy the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts, Governor Palin ultimately disagreed with that decision. And in a series of events as confusing as her 2008 GOP stump speech, the governor first vetoed an attempt to overrule the high court (under advisement of her state's attorney general, who told her the legislation was unconstitutional) and shortly thereafter proposed a divisive ballot measure to overturn the ruling constitutionally.

In other words, Governor Palin was for treating lesbian and gay Alaskans with dignity and respect before she was against it. And as the mother of a lesbian daughter, I think it’s past time that Americans know where Palin stands.

“I am tolerant,” the governor declared on Thursday, as if that would put the question to rest. But forgive me if, as a mother, I’m not entirely satisfied with her pledge to simply be “tolerant” of my daughter.

In fact, Governor Palin’s response leaves those of us who care about our lesbian and gay kids with more questions than answers.

As a mother, I want my daughter to enjoy all the rights that every other American child has. And as a Republican who would like to support my party's nominee, I want a return to true conservative values of limited government and a respect for privacy.

My vote was called into doubt, though, by the events of Thursday night. With November 4 quickly approaching, it is past time for Governor Palin to set the record -- pardon the pun -- straight.

Why, for example, did neither Biden nor debate moderator Gwen Ifill step in and challenge Palin’s assertion that she was somehow responsible for same-sex domestic-partner benefits in her home state? In truth, she campaigned hard to reverse the court decision that permitted those benefits, aggressively supporting a ballot initiative to strip them away. Yet no one spoke up when, on Thursday, she took credit for something she did not do, and a law she did not support.

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Peters is a registered Republican and a resident of Dayton, Ohio. Her daughter, Jordan, is a sophomore at Ohio State University majoring in international studies and Russian language.

Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: Merle
    Date posted: 2008-10-16 9:11 PM
    Hometown: Birmingham

    Comment:

    How sad. A Republican mother of a gay child who is dismayed and unhappy about the GOP's treatment of gays and lesbians. Perhaps the Uncle Toms can help her out. They constantly place their families second to their politics.


  • Name: joe bussell
    Date posted: 2008-10-15 11:35 AM
    Hometown: rosedale

    Comment:

    WTF? A mother bellyaches about her lesbian daughters rights and yet the mother identifies herself as a gop. As anybody with half a brain cell knows this is an untenable scenerio. Once again the Advocate goes out of it's way to prop up right wing garbage. Here's a news flash for you. The right wing is the LGBT's enemy. Geesus people, even William F Buckley Jr has seen the light.


  • Name: Jon
    Date posted: 2008-10-15 1:25 AM
    Hometown: NJ

    Comment:

    I applaud Ms. Peters for raising the question and asking Palin to explain herself. However, it is clear that neither parties candidates support gay marriage. Obama for a Democrat has had a very weak record on gay issues. If we remember he constantly ducked the gay media during the primaries while Ms. Clinton embraced it. As a gay Republican I am inclined to vote Republican regardless, but why would I waste my vote on a less then enthusiastic Democrat on gay issues? I supported Rudy in the primaries. The only candidate on either side to dress in drag and attend gay rights parades in NYC, and when Rudy endorsed McCain I was comfortable switching over to McCain, who stood up to the religious right and called people like Jerry Falwell an agent of intolerance. With no candidate to really turn to on gay issues this year, I will be voting for McCain/Palin and their vision for smaller more efficient government.


  • Name: Shaun
    Date posted: 2008-10-14 10:21 PM
    Hometown: Miamisburg

    Comment:

    Kim, This was an excellent article. I am glad that you wrote it, and I will send it to all my friends on Facebook. Hopefully the next time Jordan, You and I get together we can talk about it. Love you guys, Shaun.


  • Name: Pam
    Date posted: 2008-10-14 7:47 PM
    Hometown: St Louis

    Comment:

    Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you. However, I don't think Palin needs to say anymore about her beliefs. It's very apparent how anti-gay she is just by her use of the word tolerant.


  • Name: joey
    Date posted: 2008-10-13 3:39 PM
    Hometown: nyc

    Comment:

    i wish my mother as supportive as you are. you really are making a difference!


  • Name: Meg
    Date posted: 2008-10-13 2:25 PM
    Hometown: Tampa Bay, FL

    Comment:

    Seriously??? Support Nader??? Sure, let's support a candidate with no HOPE of getting elected so that we can spend another 4 years in republican hell? SERIOUSLY? Didn't you learn the lesson of Al Gore the last time? I honestly believe that Obama/Biden will work toward making some changes that will eventually lead to the same rights for all but you can BET your last buck that if we dilute the vote and allow the McCain/Palin ticket into White House, we will go backwards instead.


  • Name: Rae
    Date posted: 2008-10-13 12:25 PM
    Hometown: Kansas City

    Comment:

    Vote nader/gonzalez in 2008.....They support equal rights for all people. They do not dance around the issues like both McCain and Obama and done and will continue to do. Neither one of them are for equality, they just act as if they are and hide behind words and riddles. Ralph Nader is for equal rights for everyone. It is great to see a supportive family....my partners family and my own haven't spoken to us since we got together 8 years ago and they are democrats.


  • Name: Keith
    Date posted: 2008-10-13 3:04 AM
    Hometown: San Francisco

    Comment:

    Yes, Biden did say: “Look, in an Obama-Biden administration, there will be absolutely no distinction from a constitutional standpoint or a legal standpoint between a same-sex and a heterosexual couple." However, in the same debate he also said: "No. Barack Obama nor I support redefining from a civil side what constitutes marriage. We do not support that. That is basically the decision to be able to be able to be left to faiths and people who practice their faiths the determination what you call it." They can't have it both ways. I think Obama and Biden are even scarier because they try to put a happy face on their homophobia and call it equality.


  • Name: Gilbert
    Date posted: 2008-10-12 3:21 AM
    Hometown: San Antonio

    Comment:

    I'm glad to see an LGBT parent stand up for her daughter, and what she believes in.


  • Name: Nick
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 6:09 PM
    Hometown: Owensboro, KY

    Comment:

    Now that is a true parent! Keep supporting your daughter, keep asking the real questions, and thank you for fetting involved.


  • Name: Nick
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 6:09 PM
    Hometown: Owensboro, KY

    Comment:

    Now that is a true parent! Keep supporting your daughter, keep asking the real questions, and thank you for fetting involved.


  • Name: anthony newsome
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 3:15 PM
    Hometown: dublin

    Comment:

    Dear Kim, you pose a good question at McCain/Palin on how they will legislate for your daughter 'Jordan' being lesbian, but you youself should have the answer to this question as you are a registered Republican voter, and therefore would be all to aware that Republican politics is against giving any type of legal rights to gay/lesbian/bi/transgender people, this has been the ethos since it foundation, your daughter's personal right to live, have equal rights of choice in a relationship, the equal choice to wed, she will be denighed rights in the case where her or her loved one become ill regarding first contact with a hospital, if children become part of her life, her and there rights will be seriously effected under ongoing/pending Republican legislation, if you have not already, read Prop 8, this legitive bill will clearly answer your question, sincerely anthony


  • Name: Randi Reitan
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 1:31 PM
    Hometown: Eden Prairie, MN

    Comment:

    The Republican party has been taken over by the religious fundamentalists and the far right. They have no respect for true equality for my gay son. But, I am glad to see a Republican speaking out for the gay community. It is good Kim is there working to change her party. I work each day to see good people elected so one day my gay son can live with the same rights I have in this country. May we elect people who understand that equality means equality for every single person in all areas of our lives... including marriage and family. I hope Kim continues to speak out in the Republican party but votes for the Obama/Biden ticket and every Democrat she can in Ohio. Ohio will be an important state in this election. We need your vote, Kim, for your daughter and for my son.


  • Name: ed
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 8:31 AM
    Hometown: Humble, Texas

    Comment:

    You are right, Chatalie, tolerant does mean "I won't beat you up" and that's all it means. After eight years of Bush tolerance, we need to move into acceptance. McCain/Palin certainly won't take us there


  • Name: Gregg
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 3:56 AM
    Hometown: Chattanooga

    Comment:

    Thank you for supporting your lesbian daugher. I'm proud of you. I don't think you should vote for the McCain Palin ticket with their stance on gay/lesbian issues. Make a difference.


  • Name: Chatalie
    Date posted: 2008-10-11 3:44 AM
    Hometown: Conroe, TX

    Comment:

    "Tolerant" means "I won't beat you up." That does not mean that she supports or cares for LGBT issues. Look at her record in Alaska, she doesn't even believe in sex education, do you really thinks she supports gay rights? This is a woman who wanted to ban books from the public library because they were contrary to her beliefs. Remember, the next president will put 3 judges in the supreme court. I wouldn't trust Mcain/Palin's picks to support gay rights.


  • Name: John Lauer
    Date posted: 2008-10-10 5:55 PM
    Hometown: Austin

    Comment:

    Your daughter, Jordan, is very lucky having you as a mother. I'm sure that you feel you are doing nothing extraordinary or special in asking these questions of our political parties, but believe me you are. So often we just accept the status quo or go silent. Thank you for standing up for what is fair, and by doing so, encouraging others to do it as well.


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