Futches and
manties

One of the endlessly fun and funny by-products of the ever-shifting world of LGBT gender identity and politics is language, and in the last several years (in the last several weeks, even!) I've come across so many interesting, provocative, and hilarious terms that I feel the need to share them. The terms butch, femme, genderqueer, androgynous, etc., are simply not enough. New terms seem to be born every day. Read on...

Apparently, there is a phenomenon that originated in San Francisco in which butch-identified women are wearing dresses. They call themselves futches. Similarly, I have heard lipstick butch. When she heard these two words uttered together, the self-described high femme sitting next to me contorted her face in disgust at the very idea. Let us not forget, discrimination comes in many forms. In a land of bois and shims, there's a lot to be discussed and a lot of sensitive topics.

Are these people who choose to live in between traditional male and female identities being gender-revolutionary or simply trandy? Bring that one up in a room full of lesbians and trans guys and watch some people get their manties in a bunch.

I've gotten much mileage out of the terms manties and manderwear--silly terms for men's underwear in a community where lots of people are wearing them. I can't take credit for those terms, but I recently came up with this one: tranderwear. Which is, of course, what trans guys wear. Who am I kidding--I'm sure someone's thought of that. Trans guy friends of mine in New York got sick of the term tranny chaser--they felt it was insulting to the chaser and had a negative connotation all around, so they came up with transamorous, which is not only sweet-sounding, it sounds like Trans Am, which is inherently cool.

A heterosexual friend recently bemoaned the fact that he was what he calls hag bait--a man who attracts the roughest, scraggliest women. Vaguely offended, I looked around his apartment at his throw pillows and West Elm catalogs and said, "No, honey, you're actually fag bait. A gay man would just assume you were playing for our team if he walked into this place."

Perhaps what he needs is a woman who will put him in what one friend has dubbed a lesbian straight couple. You see them on vacations a lot--a man and a woman dressed similarly and practically, communicating well and often, with the leader of the pack clearly being the woman. These men aren't henpecked or pussy-whipped (those old-school, oh-so-painful terms), they are simply on an actual team with the woman in their life, which is very lesbionic.

I promise I didn't make up any of these personally, but I encourage everyone to search to find the word or phrase that describes you or a phenomenon you see in our community. Ever-shifting lexicon and lingo keeps us alive and communicating--and, hopefully, laughing.