David Burtka on mocktails, sobriety, and his new book with husband Neil Patrick Harris

David Burtka has spent much of his life entertaining, onstage, on-screen, in the kitchen, and in person. Because to know David is to love him as he engulfs you in his effusive effervescence.

But his latest project, a new book written with his husband, Neil Patrick Harris, isn’t just about entertaining others. It’s about making sure everyone at the party feels seen.

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And if you are like me, someone who is coming up on four years of sobriety, you know that sometimes parties, bars, and restaurants miss their mark when they aren’t cognizant of people who prefer not to drink. I always say to people the hardest part about going out with friends isn’t avoiding alcohol; it's about finding something else to drink besides water.

The couple’s new release, Both Sides of the Glass: Paired Cocktails and Mocktails to Toast Any Taste, offers a collection that pairs classic cocktails with thoughtful, alcohol-free alternatives. “There’s never been a book that’s done paired cocktails and mocktails,” Burtka said in an interview. “It’s always been you’d get a mocktail book or a cocktail book. But this is for those couples where one drinks and one doesn’t.”

For Burtka, the project is personal. Nine years into sobriety, he grew tired of showing up at dinners and parties where the only nonalcoholic options were seltzer, club soda, or overly sweet “mocktails” filled with syrups and fruit juices. We bonded over the redundancy of ordering sparkling water with lime.

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“I want to go out and feel like an adult,” he explained. “I don’t want to be handed a juice box version of a drink. I wanted something you could sip and savor, and something that felt special.”

The desire to elevate the nonalcoholic experience without sacrificing sophistication became one of the driving forces of the book. Drawing on Burtka’s culinary training and Harris’s flair for mixology, From Cocktails to Mocktails transforms classics like the Old Fashioned into what Burtka calls a “New Fashioned,” balancing complex flavors without the alcohol.

“It’s about not making these things too sweet,” he said. “Now there are so many incredible alternatives out there, distilled spirits without alcohol, herbal bases, things with health benefits. Ten years ago, there wasn’t much. Now the possibilities are endless.”

For Burtka, a well-crafted mocktail isn’t just a drink — it’s also about belonging. “When you stop drinking, you often feel like you’re not part of the gang anymore,” he said. “If you’re sipping a cranberry and seltzer, that’s thirst-quenching, but it doesn’t feel like a cocktail. A great mocktail makes you feel included. It looks like something you’d order at the bar, and it has the complexity to match.”

He points to brands experimenting with non-alcoholic spirits infused with herbs, mushrooms, and adaptogens. One of his favorites is Little Saints, a zero-proof tequila alternative made with cardamom, cinnamon, and Lion’s Mane mushrooms. “Alcohol is basically poison in your body,” Burtka said bluntly. “These drinks aren’t just alcohol-free, they’re actually good for you. But if you really struggle with alcohol, the best bet might be to stay away from alcohol alternatives and opt for other ingredients for the drink.”

Beyond its recipes, Burtka and Harris see the book as a social tool. In an age when younger generations are drinking less and wellness culture is booming, offering inclusive drink options has become both thoughtful and necessary.

“The book is a great gift, because you don’t always know if someone drinks,” Burtka said. “Sometimes it’s a little uncomfortable when people bring bottles of champagne as a host gift since not everyone can enjoy that. With this book, you’re giving options to everyone at the table.”

The volume reflects a broader shift in how society is rethinking alcohol. “Younger generations are really minding what they put in their bodies,” Burtka said. “It’s not about being sober-curious anymore. It’s about making smarter choices and still wanting to celebrate.”

Burtka and I agreed that we don’t miss drinking, especially the aftereffects. “For nine years, I’ve been waking up clear,” he said. “When Neil has a hangover, I don’t. When we have parties, I know I can be the designated driver and that everyone’s safe.”

Sobriety, he added, has sharpened his creativity in the kitchen. Experimenting with flavor combinations for mocktails became a rabbit hole of discovery. “It was wild to see how layered and satisfying these drinks could be,” he said.

Ultimately, Burtka says he and Harris wanted to create recipes that encourage togetherness, no matter what’s in your glass. “If you’re serving cocktails at a party, it’s always good to have a second option for people who don’t drink,” he said. “It makes them feel special. It makes them feel like part of the celebration. And that’s what it’s all about.”