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Nico Tortorella was changed by fatherhood. His new album is all about it (exclusive)

Nico Tortorella interview
Bronson Farr

Nico Tortorella told The Advocate how fatherhood inspired him to break his hiatus and release a new album of his own.

Nico Tortorella didn’t expect to release his new album when he began writing it.

born first started as a soundtrack for his wife, Bethany Meyers, to listen to during their home birth – an intimate piece of art celebrating their growing family once she had finally become pregnant after enduring miscarriages and exploring in vitro fertilization (IVF). The music “was for us at first,” the artist said, then he “decided that I wanted to share it with the world.”

“I just started making music for Bethany and this baby first. I knew that there was this spirit and this child, there was a third person in our home,” Tortorella told The Advocate. “The second I started writing it was very clear that there was something else in the works. I just tapped into this – quite literally this life force.”

Tortorella said it was the spirit of the unborn child – who would enter the world as his daughter, Kilmer Dove – that motivated him throughout the process. At times, the musician said he would receive direct inspiration from his idea of her.

“I was having dreams about the baby and she would sing songs to me while I was dreaming. … I would wake up in the morning and I would have full songs, melodies, lyrics,” he explained.

Nico TortorellaBronson Farr

This love for his daughter inspired Tortorella to end his hiatus from the public eye, though he said he “never” really stopped making art during that time, it just “became more internal – it wasn't for the act of sharing.”

He also recently released a new children’s book, Olivette Is You, which he said is “really about loving every single part of yourself, respecting every part of yourself, even the ones that are unknown or unclear.” It’s a message he wants not just his daughter, but all kids to take to heart.

“I always go back to this age old saying that we all heard when we were kids to some degree, which is like, you can be anything you want to be when you grow up. But what is the next level of that?” he said. “You already are everything you could ever imagine in the entire universe. You already have it. It's up to you to tap into it.”

Nico Tortorella kids bookPenguin Random House

Despite the many exciting releases, Tortorella said that fatherhood is “everything” to him now, especially with a second baby on the way. While the experience has been “incredible” and “life-changing,” he noted that there are “some days that are really hard,” and he’s “still trying to figure out life-work balance.”

“But it's completely changed who I am as a person and everything that I stand for,” Tortorella continued. “To see the world through these new eyes – it changes my own childhood somehow, too, and my relationship with my parents. Everything falls under the umbrella of being a parent now.”

As for his upcoming work, Tortorella said he’s “never been more excited to put anything out in the world.” They are the first projects he’s had complete creative control over, allowing him to wholly pour himself into them.

“I'm always working on other people's projects and allowing other people's dreams to come true,” he said. “To control a body of work at this level and to share it with the world feels just like the truest version of who I am. I can't imagine a world without making music at this point.”

born is available to purchase and stream online. Olivette Is You is also available online and in bookstores now.
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Ryan Adamczeski

Ryan is a staff writer at The Advocate, and a graduate of New York University Tisch's Department of Dramatic Writing, with a focus in television writing and comedy. She first became a published author at the age of 15 with her YA novel "Someone Else's Stars," and is now a member of GALECA, the LGBTQ+ society of entertainment critics. In her free time, Ryan likes watching New York Rangers hockey, listening to the Beach Boys, and practicing witchcraft.
Ryan is a staff writer at The Advocate, and a graduate of New York University Tisch's Department of Dramatic Writing, with a focus in television writing and comedy. She first became a published author at the age of 15 with her YA novel "Someone Else's Stars," and is now a member of GALECA, the LGBTQ+ society of entertainment critics. In her free time, Ryan likes watching New York Rangers hockey, listening to the Beach Boys, and practicing witchcraft.