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Single lesbians are avoided by straight women, but not straight men. Here's why.

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A lesbian's relationship status changes things, according to new research.

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Queer women can't escape prejudice, whether they're in a relationship or single.

Heterosexual women are more likely to avoid lesbians who are single, according to a recent report published in The Journal of Social Psychology, whereas heterosexual men are more likely to avoid lesbians in a relationship.

Researchers surveyed 939 heterosexual undergraduate students at a large southeastern university, asking them about a fictional fellow student with the name “Mark” or “Mary.” Participants were given small details about the hypothetical student, such as “currently in a steady romantic relationship” or “currently single but interested in dating,” then asked to assess their likeability.

Some of the responses related to men were expected, according to Corey L. Cook, an author of the report and associate professor of psychology at Pacific Lutheran University. The responses related to women came as a surprise to the researchers.

"There are unique issues that sexual minorities face based on their relationship status that other people, researchers in particular, just haven't considered," Cook told The Advocate.

While heterosexual men were more likely overall to avoid gay men based on their sexual orientation, neither heterosexual women nor men reported distancing themselves from gay men based on their relationship status. Both groups were more likely to distance themselves from lesbians specifically because of their relationship status, but for different reasons.

"Straight men in particular, just tend to show elevated responses of prejudice toward gay men. ... That wasn't surprising," Cook said. "Research suggests that heterosexual women are much more okay with sexual minorities across the board. And our findings say, yes, they are, except when these other conditions might exist."

Straight women were more likely to avoid single lesbians, showing more comfort around those in committed relationships, out of fears of perceived unwanted sexual advances. Conversely, straight men were more likely to distance themselves from lesbians in a relationship and more likely to spend time with single lesbians, likely influenced by the fantasy that the women might be sexually available or interested in them.

"Women are responding to a perceived threat. Men are responding to a perceived opportunity," Cook explained.

The report ultimately highlights "perceptions of desired or undesired sexual interest," according to Cook. This influences behavior, as society has "intertwined social identity or sexual identity with being single or being coupled." He stressed that such prejudice is rarely conscious, but rather stems from social stereotypes.

"What we're focusing on are perceptions of threats or opportunities attributed to other people based on the stereotypes of their groups," Cook said. "Because when we're interacting with people that we don't know, we use the information that's readily available, and stereotypes just give us super quick information that we can make a fast judgment of. And unfortunately, our brains are calibrated to respond much stronger to threat related information."

Cook also noted that people's responses can change based on the environment they're in: for example, those already in social settings may overall be more receptive to interaction. The key, he said, is recognizing when one has a prejudiced response, and identifying the possible reason motivating it.

"Where the research is interesting for me, is thinking, 'Okay, here is an otherwise well-meaning person. What are the circumstances in which they might act prejudiced or where they might act on stereotypes?'" he said. "Because we all know them, and whether you believe them or act on them is usually what the key difference is. You just have to have the cognitive capacity to think around them."

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Ryan Adamczeski

Ryan is a reporter at The Advocate, and a graduate of New York University Tisch's Department of Dramatic Writing, with a focus in television writing and comedy. She first became a published author at the age of 15 with her YA novel "Someone Else's Stars," and is now a member of GALECA, the LGBTQ+ society of entertainment critics, and the IRE, the society of Investigative Reporters and Editors. In her free time, Ryan likes watching New York Rangers hockey, listening to the Beach Boys, and practicing witchcraft.
Ryan is a reporter at The Advocate, and a graduate of New York University Tisch's Department of Dramatic Writing, with a focus in television writing and comedy. She first became a published author at the age of 15 with her YA novel "Someone Else's Stars," and is now a member of GALECA, the LGBTQ+ society of entertainment critics, and the IRE, the society of Investigative Reporters and Editors. In her free time, Ryan likes watching New York Rangers hockey, listening to the Beach Boys, and practicing witchcraft.