Why can't the
Democrats be Democrats?

Why can't the
            Democrats be Democrats?

Democrats are
lying. To themselves. As a lifelong, donation-giving
Democrat, and a staunch and proud liberal, I have, alas, had
it up to the gills with my party.

Let’s talk
about same-sex marriage, since that’s the nonissue
the Republicans have effectively used to scare the
Democrats. I worked hard for John Kerry and the party
in 2004, but I was nauseated by his “I support
civil unions, but not marriage” foolishness--happily
offering gay and lesbian people who love one another a
seat in the middle of the bus.

I was equally
offended by Kerry’s ridiculous “I believe
marriage is between a man and a woman”
statement. Really? Says who? His priest? His

I don’t
believe Kerry means it. He was afraid of losing votes. And
if he actually does believe that, then he’s not
the man I thought he was, and what’s more,
he’s wrong--and all you Democrats out there know it.

Fifty years ago,
most politicians in this country believed that blacks
were lesser individuals than whites--but that wasn’t
right. A hundred years ago, it was women. Wrong again.
This insane pandering to Christian conservatives was,
and continues to be, the party’s Achilles’
heel in its embarrassing attempt to win votes from
people who will never vote for them.

Where is the
passion? Where is the leadership? I used to think Howard
Dean had it, but then he goes and does that idiotic whoring
to The 700 Club! What on earth is he thinking?
That they’ll actually vote Democratic because
Dean is against same-sex marriage? Is Dean’s new
master plan to trade the LGBT vote for the evangelical vote?
It won’t work, Howard. You’re just going
to lose everyone.

John F. Kennedy
didn’t pander to anyone on the civil rights issue. He
said what he knew was right. Why don’t the Democrats
come out and plainly say that marriage is a legal
contract that ought to apply to any two adults who
want to enter into it? That’s why marriage licenses
are given out at City Halls, and not at churches.
There. Done.

When a Democrat
finally does put out a statement about same-sex marriage,
it is so fraught with “language” that I have
to read it three times before I can figure out whether
they’re in favor of it or not. They read like a
patent law or Scott McClellan doublespeak rather than an
impassioned stance by someone who is willing to go into
battle for me.

And that is what
I expect of my representatives in Washington--especially
in this time of near-theocracy in our country. I want to
hear Democrats stand up and loudly and passionately
and clearly state that they are pro–human
rights, pro-gay rights, pro-same-sex marriage rights, and

And while
they’re at it--evolution and global warming and the
Big Bang are not theories! Oh, and thunder is not the
angels bowling. I want to hear the Democrats denounce
the Republicans’ attack on the poor! Denounce
this administration’s handling of every single
domestic crisis and issue since the White House was
taken in the political coup of 2000.

Democrats have to
stop being verbose or thoughtful or strategic. They
shouldn’t be standing on the sidelines waiting mutely
for the Republicans to self-destruct. They should be
furious! Bush and his cronies have destroyed our
country--our international credibility, our human rights
standing, our military pride, our economy, our educational
system, our health care, our workforce, our
environment--all while making themselves and their
pals rich! And they’re so damn obvious about it!
Adding insult to injury, Bush then has the nerve to
announce that we’re “addicted to
oil”? No! Really? As if Karl Rove had just invented
the idea that morning! Gore was talking about
alternative energy sources back in the ’90s!
And idea that seems to have only just now occurred to Bush.
Of course, Al wouldn’t campaign on it, due to
some moronic advice from “Democratic
consultants” who seem to have some kind of magic wand
that turns every viable candidate we have into mewling

It seems like we
haven’t stuck by a strong opinion since Clinton caved
on gays in the military during his first 10 minutes in
office. But, honestly, wouldn’t all Democrats
(and most Americans, according to recent polls) rather
see the commander in chief get orally serviced from every
employee in the White House than watch this administration
rape our country for the past six years?

Bill Clinton left
us with a federal budget surplus, and today we have a
deficit of $300 billion! Why haven’t the Democrats
written that on the sky? For God’s sake, they
impeached Clinton for lying about having sex! Dubya
lied about going to war! (Among many other things, including
leaking classified information to the press.) Where are the
shouts for impeachment? You can bet that’s what
they would’ve done, had it been the other way

We have got to be
as tough and as pragmatic as they are. Say what you
will about Frist or Santorum or DeLay or any one of
them--and I do, often and to anyone who’ll
listen--but their supporters know what they stand for.
Why can’t our candidates be as loud and as clear?

For the life of
me, half the time I can’t figure out what our
candidates stand for! Forget “having a
plan.” That’s stage 2. Stage 1? What do we
stand for? How about unity? The Democratic Party stands for
unity. The other guys are clearly isolationists. They
want to go to war? To hell with what our allies or the
U.N. says, we go to war--unjustly and based on lies,
but we go!

Does anybody
believe we would have invaded Iraq if Al Gore had been
president? Even assuming that he, like Bush, would have
ignored the warnings that led to 9/11 (though he
probably wouldn’t have) my guess is that by now
Osama would be in custody instead of Saddam. We
wouldn’t have turned Iraq into Terrorist
Training Central, killing tens of thousands of
innocent people in the process. And the incredible worldwide
compassion that was ours in the weeks after the attack
on our country would still be there. The Kyoto Accord
would be a reality. Global warming would begin to
reverse. The world would physically have been a different
place. It would have been grounded in unity, because
only through unity can we succeed as a nation, as a
species, and as a planet.

For crying out
loud, it’s the name of our country! The United

Democrats, wake
up! Why can’t the you sound more like Jon Stewart or
Bill Maher? They’re smart and angry and concise
and very clear about what they’re saying: that
these monsters in Washington are destroying everything
Americans hold dear--literally life, liberty, and the
pursuit of happiness. Yet we stand by while they hurl
the Bible at us--the Bible! Y’know what Jesus
talked about more than anything? Feeding the poor!
Taking care of the sick. Loving thy neighbor. Even the
non-Christian ones.

And why on earth
do we even allow Republicans to talk about the Bible? As
American University law professor Jamie Raskin recently
pointed out, when a public servant takes an oath of
office, they put their hand on the Bible and swear to
uphold the Constitution--they do not put their hand on
the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible!

We are not a
theocracy (yet) and do not abide by God’s laws except
where they intersect with ours. Why? Because God gave
us the ability to think, to evolve, to grow and learn
and change and love--and the Founding Fathers knew
that. They knew we had more going for us than opposable
thumbs. They were enlightened believers in God, not
fundamentalist theocrats spouting dogma.

Can you picture
Pat Robertson signing the Declaration of Independence? I
don’t think so. He would’ve been the guy
burning witches! The men who created our democracy
used their God-given power to think, and with it, they
changed the world. Without it, we would simply kill and eat
anything weaker than ourselves--wait, I think
that’s George Bush’s foreign policy

So c’mon,
Dems: Passion. Conviction. CLARITY. Honesty. Step up! The
stage is set. Don’t be elected by default,
because the other guys have finally screwed up so
badly that you’re just the lesser of two evils. Win
by doing what Democrats have always done: Stand up for
what is right. That’s how you get landslides
and mandates! And do it loud!

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