Conservatives claim child custody laws disadvantage men. New York’s fix has them furious

Republican politicians in New York are enraged by bills that would make the state’s child custody laws gender neutral, despite anti-male bias in child custody decisions sparking years of outcry from many conservatives.

A bill recently introduced into the New York State Senate would tweak current family court and domestic relations laws, swapping gendered terms like “mother” and“father” for gender-neutral terms like “parent.”

Sen. Luis Sepúlveda, a Democrat from The Bronx, introduced New York Senate Bill 9316 after a similar bill created last year never passed the Senate. A connected bill, Assembly Bill A8382A, was introduced by Assemblymember Amy Paulin, a Democrat from Westchester County, and has already passed both of the state’s legislative chambers.

Other changes under the Senate bill would challenge presumptions around both the gender and guilt of defendants in child custody cases. That includes switching terms like “paternity” and “filiation” to “parentage,” and the phrase “putative father” to “alleged parent.”

Perceived bias against men in child custody decisions has long been a talking point for men’s rights activists and conservative politicians. But how these changes may relate to fairness in child custody cases has been overshadowed by outcry from conservative influencers and New York Republicans who denounce it as an example of “woke” ideology breaking down gender norms and wasting legislative time.

“It’s woke culture run amok,” said Gerard Kassar, a former state legislator and chair of the Conservative Party of New York State, according to conservative tabloid the New York Post. “It’s an example of how out of tune the New York legislature is. It’s an unnecessary and wasteful use of time.”

The Senate bill also moves toward language more inclusive of LGBTQ+ people, using “gestating parent” instead of mother, removing phrases like “she and her husband,” and using gender-neutral pronouns throughout.

Conservatives who spoke to the Post expressed concern that the bill’s passage may lead state lawmakers to modify more laws to make them gender neutral.

Sepúlveda, the Senate bill's sponsor, did not return a request for comment from The Advocate. But Paulin, who sponsored the related Assembly bill, told The Advocate that state lawmakers introduced the bill based on recommendations from New York’s family court system itself.

In January 2025, the Family Court Advisory and Rules Committee, a state-run advisory group made up of New York family court judges, issued a recommendation that the court substitute existing gendered terminology in the state’s family court law with gender neutral terms.

“Notions of parenthood have shifted dramatically in recent years,” reads their recommendation report. “The committee is proposing a measure to fill this gap and to modernize New York’s statutory structure.”

Paulin said the Office of Court Administration, which oversees the state's court system, urged lawmakers to remove gendered language from the laws, making criticisms of the bills unfounded.

“The Office of Court Administration asked for this bill to modernize the law to respect all families in whatever form they take,” Paulin told The Advocate. “That's all this bill does.”

Editor’s note: This piece has been updated to include a comment from New York State Assemblymember Amy Paulin.