Best Tweet Ever: Joan Rivers Wishes You a Very Jewish St. Patrick’s Day 

\u201cI wash my sheets a lot to keep up the appearance of living life to the fullest.\u201d

— Jami Smith (@Jami Smith) 1331273753

\u201cSt. Patrick just threw up all over the pearly gates. Sigh... if I had known it would be like this I'd have let Ireland stay pagan.\u201d

— God (Not a Parody, Actually God) (@God (Not a Parody, Actually God)) 1331991614

\u201cEveryone in the airport is wearing green, all except the gay men. They're wearing chartreuse.\u201d

— Shawn Pelofsky (@Shawn Pelofsky) 1332020704

\u201cI think the gays should take over Uganda and change the name of the country to Ugogurl.\u201d

— Dick Rentals (@Dick Rentals) 1331281755

\u201cThe tooth fairy just recently recovered from the Julia Roberts years.\u201d

— Eminence Front (@Eminence Front) 1332039804

\u201cSantorum sweeps South. Feels weird about it because that's women's work.\u201d

— Against Bolsonaro (@Against Bolsonaro) 1331736591

\u201cHappy Saint Patrick\u2019s Day!!! I'm not Irish. I\u2019m Jewish. If you want to see green on me, check my wallet.\u201d

— Joan Rivers (@Joan Rivers) 1331994641