Britney-Madonna kiss and antigay crusaders make <i>Mad</i> magazine "Dumbest" list (10888)

The January issue of Mad magazine features the "20 Dumbest People, Events, & Things of 2003," and two of those items featured newsmakers of special interest to gays and lesbians. Coming in at number 2 was "Britney and Madonna Shamelessly Swap Spit," in reference to the Britney Spears-Madonna kiss at the MTV Video Music Awards, about which the magazine notes, "Since they knew no one would be talking about their soulless musical performance, it should come as no surprise that Madonna and her star-slut in training Britney Spears trotted out the old quasi-lesbian tongue action publicity stunt at this year's MTV VMAs."

Also making the list, at number 18, is "Straight and Narrow-Minded: The Anti-Gay Crusade." "It's pretty ironic that there's something about the gay rights movement that turns otherwise civil people into absolute dicks," says Mad. "After the Supreme Court overturned Texas's antiquated sodomy laws, homophobes came out of their proverbial closets to denounce not just the court's sensible decision but every aspect of the 'gay lifestyle,' as if the biggest threat to our national security isn't Osama bin Laden but Richard Simmons." The accompanying drawing portrays George W. Bush, Pat Robertson, Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia, Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum, and radio talk show host Michael Savage as a decidedly un-Fab Five starring in Evil Eye for the Queer Guy.