9/11 Voices: Alice Hoagland, Mother of Mark Bingham

On a
recent afternoon, Alice Hoagland takes a seat in a high-backed navy-blue booth
with a slight view of the U.S. Capitol in the distance. It stands intact today
quite possibly because of the heroic efforts of her son, Mark Bingham, and a
small group of fellow mavericks on United Airlines Flight 93 a decade ago.

Each
year, the September 11 anniversary is reliably a blitz of media appearances for
the 61-year-old retired United flight attendant who lives in Northern
California. On this day, Hoagland appeared in Washington, D.C. at a congressional
press conference, met with family members of firefighters killed at the World
Trade Center, was a guest via satellite on the U.K.’s Sky News, and is juggling
print and radio requests for the remainder of the day. Wearing a trim black
blazer and a bronze silk shirt with a snap collar, she orders a glass of fizzy
water and smiles broadly.

Hoagland
has unforgettable verve. And why not? This is, after all, another opportunity
where she gets to talk about memories of her handsome gay rugby-playing son, her enduring
pride and joy who, as she told Jon Barrett, The Advocate’s then-news editor, in 2001, “lived the life that [she] always dreamed of.”

The
horror of what Bingham and fellow passengers went through on Flight 93 has been
transcribed, published, transformed into Hollywood screenplays. Brief audio
clips of the cockpit struggle were released Thursday by the Rutgers Law
Review. Hoagland
has heard the entire recording (the final 30 minutes remain classified) and has
recognized her son’s voice. Still smiling, she assures a reporter that her
resolve is not impenetrable.

“In some ways I have not progressed through the grief
process at all,” Hoagland says. “Sometimes the news of Mark’s death and the
whole horror of 9/11 comes back and hits me like fresh bad news — when I’m in
my private moments, when I’m by myself. In public I try to be strong the way
Mark was strong. But you’re all over the map when you’re a mom who’s lost the
most important person to her. I’ve devoted my life to emulating Mark. He taught
me how to live.”

This weekend, Hoagland and her sister, Candy, will join
other family members of passengers and crew at the Flight 93 National Memorial
in Shanksville, Pa. Former presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will
speak at a Saturday opening and dedication ceremony for the 400-acre memorial.
President Obama will arrive Sunday for the 10th anniversary
commemoration to lay a wreath at the site and greet victims’ families,
according to White House officials. 

Hoagland
says she doesn’t know whether she will get the opportunity to meet Obama. But
she knows what she would say. “Mr. President, I’m very grateful to you for your
steady support of the LGBT community. I hope you will see to the certain and
steady demise of ‘don’t ask don’t tell,’” she says of the military policy set
to expire on September 20. “I hope you will encourage the promulgation of
marriage equality across the country. I’m grateful you’ve made September 11 a
national day of service.”

Then
Hoagland adds, with a little pep, “And I’m very grateful to you for seeing
through the project of waylaying Osama bin Laden in his nasty little mansion.”