Gaysayer's Jaded Hearts Club 

I Love You Because… 

“My penis is bigger.”
— Brian
Raimondo, @mursebrianrn 

“I'm afraid of getting back into the dating scene.”
— Jeffrey
Jay, @HeyJeffreyJay 

“Your hand fits perfectly inside of me.”
— Jessica
Halem, @jessicahalem 

“I save all my hate for the Kardashians.”
— Shawn
Hollenbach, @shawnhollenbach 

“You seem completely unaware that I can see into your
bathroom from my kitchen window.”
— Pete Beat,
@petebeat 

“We can wear the same jeans. (I don't even like you,
anymore, though. It just seems dumb to leave when we can share all of these
jeans.)”
— Jill
Kushner, @thejillkushner 

“You like to do fun things after we sleep together like play
hide and go seek. You’re really good at it, still searching after six months!”
— Zackary Ross,
@zackblows 

“You don't make up songs after sex.”
— Lianna Carrera,
@liannac  

“You have tickets to Liza Minnelli at the Hollywood Bowl.”
—  Chris Schleicher, @cschleichsrun 

“Our bed is taking longer to die than Terry Schiavo.”
— Alison
Egert, @alisonisfunny