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Story Updated : April 05, 2010 01:42:00 PM

McMillen: I Was Sent to Fake Prom


CONSTANCE MCMILLEN X390 (AP/MATTHEW SHARPE) | ADVOCATE.COM

To prevent Constance McMillen from bringing a female date to her prom, the teen was sent to a "fake prom" while the rest of her class partied at a secret location at an event organized by parents.

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.

"They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them," McMillen says. "The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn’t invited to."

Last week McMillen asked one of the students organizing the prom for details about the event, and was directed to the country club. "It hurts my feelings," McMillen says.

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."

In March, after the Itawamba County School District refused to allow McMillen to bring a female date to the prom, the district canceled the event altogether. McMillen and her lawyers from the American Civil Liberties Union challenged that decision in court, and a judge ruled the district could not bar McMillen and her date.

The judge declined to force the school district to hold the prom because a parent-sponsored, private prom was being organized — and the understanding was that McMillen and her date were invited to that event. But Hampton says McMillen was never invited and organizers made it very difficult for her to find information on the time and location. That prom was later mysteriously canceled, with the Friday night event at the country club officially replacing it.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Tim Narance
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 8:49:54 PM
    Hometown: Columbus

    Comment:

    The comments here provide insight into the author's way of looking at the world. I am disapponted that BB seems to have dropped off.....he's the guy who kept bringing up public display of female breasts and male genitalia as analogous to same-sex couples openly attending a prom.....I wanted to ask him whether the junk he was so anxious to display was worth a look. Then I would decide whether to let him into the prom. For some homosexuality is always equated with raw sex. Speaking as a gay male at age 58, always remember that it is by our works that we are known. We reap what we sow and what goes around comes around. I recall those stark photos from the civil rights era of the little black kids being escorted into school by armed guards. The sidewalks leading up to the schools were usually lined by angry white protesters, whose faces were captured on film as contorted in hatred. That is their legacy to the world. Are they proud of it now?

  • Name: Trixamina
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 8:04:09 PM
    Hometown: Chico, CA

    Comment:

    Sarah- The School district threw the hissy fit. I won't pretend to know all the facts. Is there an actual rule in the school handbook that says girls can't bring girls as dates? Or girls can't wear tux's?

  • Name: Joseph I. Singer
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 6:47:11 PM
    Hometown: Fairfax,

    Comment:

    I can only describe this as "A scurvy trick." The school's admirably clever, but entirely despicable, actions are unforgivable and should not be take lying down. HRC has a petition so everyone here please sign it.

  • Name: Dr Joey
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 6:13:04 PM
    Hometown: New York City

    Comment:

    The school district was instrumental in perpetrating a fraud upon the Court. The judge should have written a loop-hole proof Court Order, but She (I think the judge was a woman) did not. It sounds to me that the judge was trying to broker good feelings between Constance, her family and the school district. I can relate to that reasoning. I have been an educator for 25 years. Presently I am am Deputy Superintendent of Schools in an affluent suburban district. I'd like to think our high school principals would not have behaved the way that idiot at Constance's high school did, but if I did happen, I'd simply reverse the decision. My Superintendent always stands with me, especially on human rights issues. The school district is culpable here. And those kids and parents put all that information on a web page? I am embarrassed and appalled by the actions of my Mississippi "colleagues." WE'RE EDUCATORS; WE'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER!

  • Name: Austin
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 6:11:14 PM
    Hometown: St. Joe

    Comment:

    My Name is Austin. I'm 15. I myself have dealt with hate for some time. Its sad to me that the majority of you all are only increasing the amount of hate in our world. Most of you are no better than teenagers. Callings names, pointing blame, fighting. It's childish. Fact of the matter is, Constance was not treated fairly. Point blank. No arguments. You can't debate that one. But the problem won't be fixed by a bunch of adults fighting online. Fighting fire with fire only creates a bigger fire. Someone stand up and be the bigger person, the bigger community. If you're going to call someone crude, vicious names, you can't expect them to do any different. Please, for the future, lets not act like children. My love goes out to Constance and the countless others facing hate.

  • Name: Jayne Freeman
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 6:02:32 PM
    Hometown: Livingston, Texas

    Comment:

    I am a retired teacher and published writer about education. I am so ashamed of this particular educational system, the school district in Mississippi that by its actions and example is teaching its students to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. We should as educators, both directly instruct our students in the importance of tolerance, and by example show them that that is what be believe in. This school district has done the exact opposite. It's too late to fix, since the prom time has passed, which is really sad. Let the students be aware that their school district's narrow-minded actions do not represent the attitude of most educators in our country!

  • Name: Allen
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 4:55:29 PM
    Hometown: Ann Arbor, Mi

    Comment:

    Every time Mississippi tries to get out from under the stereotypes that have set it back decades and made it a backwater of the US this kind of junk steps up and reaffirms the rest of the US thoughts. All this work and subterfuge just so two girls can't go to the prom together...seriosuly?!?!?!?!? The folks acting on their "Christianity" will certianly have this to answer for when called for judgement. Jesus was of love and tolerance, not ignorance, intolerance and hate. I will pray for those who hid the "real" prom from this young lady...they are the ones who are in need of help not her. Oh, and Mr. Haley Barbour...before you think of running the country as the next Republican president, try getting your own house in order Governor before you spread your great ideas to the rest of the country.

  • Name: Briana
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 4:48:06 PM
    Hometown: Riverside

    Comment:

    This is just outright stupid to have happened. This poor girl's Prom did not have to turn out this way. All because she wanted to bring another girl as her date? For real? Girls bring other girls all the time because they didn't have dates. Why is this so different?? Me and my friend both brought other girls as our dates. Shame on the parents as well. This is no way to raise your kids; to discriminate because they are "different". Unless they are space aliens, they are human. There is nothing "different" about them. What year do we live in again, because I thought we lived in the 2010. The 21st century people. When is this kind of crap gonna end? When I was in High school, I knew the only openly gay boy. I would get the weirdest looks and have total strangers walk up to me and say "You know hes gay right?". Ridiculous.

  • Name: amber
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 4:47:54 PM
    Hometown: amsterdam

    Comment:

    You have to understand that most of these parents involved peaked at prom. After that it was just pie baking and vacuum cleaning. This whole thing is sad housewives and teachers on a power trip. They don't have a say in the real world so they single out some teenagers and try to make them as miserable as they are. There used to be separate parties for black and white people and different rules for men and women and now that they can't get away with that anymore they focus on gay people and kids with learning disabilities. And all that just to prove their lives are not just about laundry. Get a hobby, learn how to make a quilt or something.

  • Name: Dan
    Date posted: 4/6/2010 4:46:41 PM
    Hometown: Abq

    Comment:

    I think what's probably most disturbing and ultimately disappointing and enraging about this whole thing as well as the attitudes of a lot of the small-minded commentators here is how cavalier they all are with basically screwing around with the life and emotional well-being of a kid. It's funny to see people whose lives are so small and filled with such darkness and hate that they basically take up arms against a high-school age girl. To me, it shows not only a completely lack of respect for young people in general and bothering to try to set a more positive, mature example, but it also shows the weird, pathological fear of difference these people have. Kicking a school-age girl when she's down is, to most people, cowardly to the point of disgust, but to these people they are literally so threatened by such an innocent and harmless action that they think it is an appropriate reaction. Your kind are dying out and will soon be forgotten. The world no longer belongs to you.

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