Extend the Outrage

The experience of
straight spouses, first hidden in their partners' closets and
then overlooked in the excitement of their husbands' or wives'
breaking out, affords us a personal window onto a rising
conflict in our society that needs to be faced head on. Their
trauma can be traced back to the prevailing mind-set about
traditional marriage and antigay attitudes and stereotypes
still found in many parts of our country. That is where we need
to direct our outrage and take action to change the status quo.
Anger at the hypocrisy in the film has to extend to the
underlying negative attitudes about homosexuality and gay
people in our society. These attitudes say, often louder than
words, that being gay is a detriment to success
-- thereby propelling hopeful gay politicians into the
glass closet, where they do harm to fellow gay and lesbian
Americans as well as betray their own integrity.

If we could take action
to help more people in more communities to comprehend the
reasons why many gay men marry unsuspecting women, they might
grasp the deep connection between, on the one hand, the
tragedies for everyone involved in these marriages and the
hypocrisy of gay people in the public square, and on the other
hand, their own role in causing these tragic stories by their
encouragement of heterosexual marriage and discouragement of
anyone's being gay or lesbian.

At a national level,
the film's exposure of the harm done by closeted gay
politicians is a rallying cry for outrage and activism against
hypocrisy. As Barney Frank and Tammy Baldwin state and
demonstrate by their own behavior, it's one's character
and devotion to the common good that matter. May
Outrage

also be a wake-up call to increase awareness of the harm done
to straight spouses and children in mixed-orientation
marriages, attitudes that make it difficult for gay persons to
be who they are. Most important, may it encourage gay men and
lesbians to come out to their family, friends, and communities,
a strategy that will lead to dissipating stereotypical
assumptions about gay people and antigay attitudes. That is the
social change needed for electing more honest leaders at the
state and national level, benefiting us all.

In the end, increased
acceptance and welcoming of gay men and lesbians as equal
members of our communities will lead to stronger governmental
institutions with leaders of integrity who can implement
American ideals. Acceptance will also diminish societal
pressures for gay men or lesbians to enter heterosexual
marriages as the "right thing to do," only to later
reveal their truth, which in the majority of cases triggers
divorce -- an act that truly does weaken the
institution of marriage.

Once accepted
universally as individuals or government leaders, gay and
lesbian persons can help America as a nation and all Americans
to create a society based on truth, one that provides equality
and justice for all.