Lukas Gage's 'attention grab' is really a raw confession about surviving brutal moments in his life

If you have been following the career of Lukas Gage, you know he’s great at getting attention with his characters’ OMG! moments. At the risk of being bawdy, he’s famously eaten ass on The White Lotus. As a masseur in Down Low, he nonchalantly provided a happy ending. And if that wasn’t enough, he’s also been doused in a golden shower on You.

With each scene, he brought viral vividness. But his talent extends far beyond bawdiness. His characters shine in each of his performances, particularly as a closeted football quarterback in Overcompensating. It was arguably the most pivotal role in Benito Skinner’s hit series on Amazon Prime.

But behind his memeable moments, comedic turns, and dramatic flashes lies something else entirely, and that is a young man who has spent his life trying to reconcile immense pain, hardship and chaos. It’s what makes the book — and Gage — so special.

In his new memoir, I Wrote This for Attention, Gage surprisingly and with raw honesty exposes a life that has been as bruised as it has been bold. The publisher calls it “a riveting and heartwarming memoir … about a broken family, struggles with addiction, sex, borderline personality disorder, and his commitment to being the center of attention.”

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But the book and Gage are far from being melodramatic. Gage comes off in the book just as he is in person, as funny, profoundly self-aware, and devastatingly honest.

The grueling work of promoting a memoir about his life has been disorienting and humbling for Gage. It requires talking about himself nonstop, over and over again. “It’s crazy,” he says. “I've never had this much talking about myself. I'm used to promoting a movie or TV show, and this is just truly talking about my life. So it’s a lot.”

For someone who’s built a career on total exposure, physical and emotional, there’s something startlingly odd about that confession. Writing a memoir requires a bit of narcissism, but Gage comes off with a measure of modesty.

Gage began the book thinking it would be lighthearted. “I came up with the title first,” he explains. “I really thought it was going to be a lot more tongue-in-cheek and fun and jokes. And then, I don’t know what happened, something shifted midway through writing it. I just was like, I gotta get more real and unearth this stuff.”

What he unearthed was trauma, the kind that usually lingers in silence. If you’ve been a victim of sexual abuse or confronted mental illness, then you know the pain associated with being quiet.

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The memoir delves unflinchingly into his experience of sexual abuse, the fragmentation of his family, and the mental health battles that shaped his sense of self.

“At first it was something I was filled with shame about and didn’t want to talk about,” he admits. “But then I remembered when I read about similar stories in other people’s books, like Matthew McConaughey’s, and it gave me courage. It gave me the ability to not want to hide with it, and to maybe, hopefully, help some other kid out there who went through the same thing.”

That willingness to talk about pain, particularly as a young male actor in Hollywood, has resonated deeply with early readers of the memoir. “Other guys have reached out, telling me they were thankful,” Gage says. “Other male actors talking openly about BPD [Borderline Personality Disorder], saying they didn’t have enough people to look up to who had that, it’s been really affirming and humbling.”

For Gage, mental health isn’t something to be whispered about. It’s easy thing to admit to struggling, but Gage comes forward in a way that resonates. “I think of it like someone breaks their arm and goes to the doctor, and that's not looked down upon,” he reasons. “But if someone is depressed or anxious or has a personality disorder and takes medication, suddenly that’s reframed with shame. And I just didn’t want that. I wanted an open conversation about it.”

He’s also very much aware of the fashioned version of himself that people see online. “People see a young actor who’s maybe having the best time of their life, and I just wanted to show the moments not on Instagram. There’s been lonely moments and sad stuff, even when amazing things are happening,” he points out. “Even when all these amazing things are happening and I’m so grateful and privileged, that doesn’t mean we’re not going through real-life shit.”

It’s that dichotomy between outward success and inner struggles that gives I Wrote This for Attention its emotional contrast. His career may have exploded through popular roles, but the book reads like an antidote to surviving.

Gage writes candidly about his “broken family,” his addiction struggles with sex and love, and his need for validation. “There’s a certain sense of responsibility I feel,” he says. “As a public person, to be honest and forthcoming. I think that’s how we move forward as a culture, not staying quiet about this stuff.”

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Still, Gage never loses his trademark humor. “There are a lot of jokes in the book,” he admits. “But I let myself go deep in those moments that I didn’t think I would. I was proud of that.”

He also dives into the chaos of love and family. “No relationship is perfect, no family is perfect, no person is perfect,” he says. “Where we’ve failed and fallen short is sometimes more interesting than all the successes.”

Looking back at the early part of his life, Gage was asked if he remembers the first queer person he met, and then he copped to being stymied. “I’m usually good at pulling something out of my ass,” he laughs. “But this is the first time I’ve been at a loss for words, which probably says a lot about where we were as a society when I was a kid.”

What he does remember, however, is idolizing pop icons like Britney Spears and Kelly Clarkson. “They sang about their emotions,” he recalls. “I loved that.”

As for what a future memoir might hold, Gage grows reflective. “I hope I never forget who I am and where I came from,” he says. “No matter where life takes me, I never want to lose that. I don’t think people can really change, but I think we can grow and be the best version of ourselves, but who we are and where we come from, that stays.”

That might be the defining sentiment of I Wrote This for Attention. It’s not about transformation — it’s about validation and self-realization. Instead of reinventing himself, Gage reveals himself. His memoir is an act of unabated self-acceptance.

Gage is an example of someone finally learning that attention doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. But if you’re brave enough and true to yourself, it can help lead you there.