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Dear Abby: Pressure on Gay Man to Date Coworker Is Harassment

Dear Abby: Pressure on Gay Man to Date Coworker Is Harassment

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A writer to Dear Abby has a complaint that he's under pressure to date a female coworker, and he can't tell his colleagues he's gay.

trudestress

A closeted gay man being pressured to date a female coworker has a classic sexual harassment case, says syndicated advice columnist Dear Abby.

The man, who says he can't be out at work, says the colleague has long tried to convince him they "would make a good pair," and she has gotten the rest of their coworkers involved. "I'm constantly pressured by my supervisor to 'just go out with her and give her a chance,'" he writes, adding that the situation has made him "dread coming to the office."

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the Abby column, says the situation is "a classic example of sexual harassment and a hostile work environment" and would be even if he were straight and not wanting to become romantically involved with the colleague for any reason. She advises the writer to document all the incidents, go to his supervisor's boss if necessary, and consult a lawyer if the situation doesn't improve.

Phillips has often taken gay-supportive stands in the column, as did her mother, Pauline Phillips, who was Dear Abby for many years.

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Trudy Ring

Trudy Ring is The Advocate’s senior politics editor and copy chief. She has been a reporter and editor for daily newspapers and LGBTQ+ weeklies/monthlies, trade magazines, and reference books. She is a political junkie who thinks even the wonkiest details are fascinating, and she always loves to see political candidates who are groundbreaking in some way. She enjoys writing about other topics as well, including religion (she’s interested in what people believe and why), literature, theater, and film. Trudy is a proud “old movie weirdo” and loves the Hollywood films of the 1930s and ’40s above all others. Other interests include classic rock music (Bruce Springsteen rules!) and history. Oh, and she was a Jeopardy! contestant back in 1998 and won two games. Not up there with Amy Schneider, but Trudy still takes pride in this achievement.
Trudy Ring is The Advocate’s senior politics editor and copy chief. She has been a reporter and editor for daily newspapers and LGBTQ+ weeklies/monthlies, trade magazines, and reference books. She is a political junkie who thinks even the wonkiest details are fascinating, and she always loves to see political candidates who are groundbreaking in some way. She enjoys writing about other topics as well, including religion (she’s interested in what people believe and why), literature, theater, and film. Trudy is a proud “old movie weirdo” and loves the Hollywood films of the 1930s and ’40s above all others. Other interests include classic rock music (Bruce Springsteen rules!) and history. Oh, and she was a Jeopardy! contestant back in 1998 and won two games. Not up there with Amy Schneider, but Trudy still takes pride in this achievement.