In an era of Lindsey, Paul Dans, and Nancy Mace, James Taylor would not be going to Carolina in his mind

“Ain’t it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind? Yes, I’m goin’ to Carolina in my mind…”

When I hear the word “Carolina,” either North or South, the James Taylor song “Carolina in My Mind” pops into my head and becomes an earworm. Taylor conjures an image of the Carolinas as a place of serenity, with sunshine and moonshine. It’s a place of peace. It’s a place that evokes nostalgia.

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But these days, the idea of drifting off to Carolina in one’s mind feels mind-boggling. In fact, you would need to be closed-minded in order to fit in with the narrow-minded politicians running for statewide offices in South Carolina next year.

I was recently asked if there’s a worse U.S. senator than Lindsey Graham. I paused to ponder that loaded question. Ted Cruz naturally came to mind. Then Mike Lee. Then Josh Hawley. Then Tommy Tuberville. OK, I’ll stop there. My mind obviously was cluttered with 53 names: Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Susan Collins ... See what I mean. They’re just racing through my mind, like Carolina raced through James Taylor’s.

It was a more complicated question than I imagined.

But after a heated debate in my mind, I agreed that the a man from South Carolina, Lindsey, was the correct choice. He’s out of his mind in love with Donald Trump, although, in a different way than his fellow South Carolina senator, Tim Scott, who debases himself around Trump and stares at him like Nancy Reagan did at Ronald.

Instead, Lindsey assuredly runs around golf courses with Trump, dropping the ball for him in convenient places so Trump can cheat and win. It fits because Graham is the perennial loser.

Because Graham wasn’t always this way, and that’s what makes him so reprehensible.

He was once John McCain’s best friend. He joked with and even praised Hillary Clinton during her Senate years. He seemed like someone who was somewhat rational and coherent. But now he too is quite the Nancy, in the same way Scott yearns to lick Trump’s derriere is what I meant, but you can read into that anyway you like.

Graham has become more than just a loyal foot soldier and caddy in-chief. He voted to confirm all of Trump’s horrendous Cabinet and Cabinet-level appointees, including Pete Hegseth at Defense, Tulsi Gabbard as director of national intelligence, and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at Health and Human Services.

Keep this in mind when talking about a Kennedy. In 2007, Graham cosponsored an Immigration Reform Act with Sen. Ted Kennedy, the “liberal lion,” whose career in the Senate was exemplary. That’s in comparison to Graham’s expel-worthy time in the Senate..

But in answering that question — Is there anyone worse than Lindsey? — I may have spoken too soon.

Enter America's reigning regressionist Paul Dans.

You might not know the name, but you know the piece of trash that he authored. Dans is one of the architects of Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation’s insipid dystopian roadmap to dismantle the modern federal government. It’s been Trump’s blueprint for the destruction he’s undertaking of American democracy, i.e. mass firings of civil servants, radical purges in the Department of Justice, trashing the Department of Education, and on and on.

Now Dans is running to unseat Graham in South Carolina’s Republican Senate primary.

For South Carolina voters, this is like a choice between the devil and Satan. Yes, they are the same evil person, but if you look at it closely, there’s not much daylight between Graham and Dans. It’s like being asked whether you'd prefer having your fingernails or toenails ripped off.

And on Monday, this wickedness in South Carolina proliferated.

The ever-opportunistic Congresswoman Nancy Mace announced she’s running for governor of South Carolina. Mace, like Graham, was once a moderate Republican. But when the spotlight called and the winds shifted, she sprinted furiously toward Trumpism with the hope of catching up to Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert.

She did. And the argument can be made that she’s already lapped them.

Her switcheroo is especially evident in her approach to the LGBTQ+ community. She once said, “I strongly support LGBTQ rights and equality ... no one should be discriminated against.” Then in April, she hissed and hissed and hissed a transphobic slur: “Tr*nny. Yeah, tr*nny, tr*nny, tr*nny,"

And, she has been disgustingly cruel toward one of her colleagues, Congresswoman Sarah McBride. First there was the hideous discriminatory bathroom bill aimed at keeping McBride out of the House women’s restroom. Mace has repeatedly misgendered McBride on social media and mocked her identity in interviews,

If you have a strong stomach, you can see all the ways Mace has defecated on the LGBTQ+ community here. Her brutality is only outmatched by her stupidity..

So, South Carolinians, I feel for you. Beginning soon, your state will become a theater of grotesque political extremism. If James Taylor were writing his “Carolina” song today, he wouldn’t be going to Carolina in his mind. He’d be sprinting away from it.

Because South Carolina today is a far cry from Taylor’s lyrics. The state is being choked and gagged by a trio of political figures who seem hell-bent on shredding compassion, civility, and constitutional norms.

Its neighbor up north had a small sliver of what it’s like to have a maniac run for state office, when the equally vomit-inducing Mark Robinson, who was North Carolina’s lieutenant governor, ran a disastrous race for governor last year.

It just seems that the trash of Robinson’s race seeped over the border, and now South Carolina races are a contest for which candidate is the most extreme. Who is the biggest liar? Who is Trump’s most fervent ass smoocher? Who is the biggest bigot?

Those are some really sickening questions. But Graham, Dans, and Mace are just sickening individuals. Hopefully the voters offer some antacid by bucking the system and electing Democrats. But. And that’s a big but.

So if you have the earworm about going to Carolina in your mind, you’d be best advised to switch to another song quickly. Because to many of us, thinking about South Carolina is just too sickening.

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