When Sex Rehab airs, will you watch it?
 I don’t have a television, so ...
 
OK, this is kind of an embarrassing question to ask, but when you’re
shooting a show like this and you have cameras on you at all times,
even in your bedroom ...

Can I tell you the most embarrassing
thing about [shooting the show]? I realized that I’m a natural to have
a camera in my face 24-7 [laughs]. I mean, it was like
going into a gay bar when I was 23 years old. All eyes were
on me. I felt absolutely validated, from the moment I got up, tying my
shoes in the morning, to having a wash at night, I suddenly felt, My
life is suddenly worth something. It’s tragic how that happens
[laughs].
 
Um, I was actually going to ask ...
[Laughs] No,
I did not jerk off. But I was jerking off a lot before I went in there.
I don’t know how many times you jerk off a day, but I was doing it
whenever I could. Before I did the show and got help ... like, if you were
here, I’d be like, I hope this interview doesn’t go on too long because
I’m dying to see that new piece of pornography.
 
Speaking of filmed images, what’s next in your movie career?
A.
I just finished a film called Whitstable, which is a kind of
documentary about the artist Damien Hirst, and I’m doing The Book of
Resentments, which is my quintessential L.A. film. It’s about a man who
goes up Runyon Canyon every day and talks to God. He’s just a good guy
doing the right thing, but then somebody fucks him over big-time, so he
gets permission from God to take him out. 
 
It’s funny how Runyon
can be a spiritual place for Angelenos. In fact, I hike up there almost
every Sunday. Although I don’t know if it counts as spiritual if I’m
blasting Madonna on my iPod the whole time ...
[Laughs] No, it
doesn’t. You’ve got to experience it without it. Before my dog died, I
used to go up there counting dogs. Now I count men I objectify.
 
Hmm. Maybe this problem is more common than I, er, we want to admit ...