Daddy Drama

In Maggie Quale's latest column on her journey to parenthood, she and her partner ponder potential paternal problems.



As queers,
we’re expert at redefining our identities. Lately, as
Kim and I have been moving closer to our baby
bliss, I’ve been contemplating how much our
parents form our identities. In the twisty road from
adolescent to adult, with all the thousands of big and
little moments piled up, how much do our parents
really shape who we are?

These questions
bubbled up when Kim and I decided to learn more about our
potential donors. We definitely wanted only donors who were
willing to be known when the child reached 18, but
beyond that, we had dozens of questions to obsess over
before we settled on our final choice. To help decide,
we purchased the long profiles and childhood photos of our
top picks. I had this idea that reading their
responses and seeing their photos would somehow act as
a seminal force that would reveal which
donor was “our donor.” No such luck.

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