In the homo history books, straight women have always held a cherished role in the road to acceptance for gays around the globe. They were holding our hand on our first trip to the gay bars, they went to the prom with us even though they knew they weren’t going to get lucky, and they are still our dinner dates when our boyfriends are nowhere to be found. Yes, it is no secret that gay men and straight women can often be a match made in platonic heaven.
Unfortunately, some of these precious ladies take on a more insidious tone when they inappropriately co-opt the experience of being a gay man or treat us like objects instead of friends. A few might have started off as allies, but somewhere along the way, they evolved into these six types of broads who are a nuisance, a bother, and an altogether bitch for gay men to put up with.
These are the six straight women that gay men should avoid — at all costs.
This female barhopper might be talking to you, but her eyes are drifting somewhere around the cleavage of your pectorals. The consummate flirt, she would never let something so silly as homosexuality get in the way of her appetite for some man meat. For some reason, this grabby girl assumes gay men don’t mind her unwarranted crotch-cupping or butt-grabbing. And if you are drunk enough to entertain this voracious vixen, she might just try and stick her tongue down your throat.
Listen, Lady Fingers, keep your hands where we can see them.