In Markwayne Mullin, Pete Hegseth has a competitor in bravado, masochism, and queer hate

Just when you thought the overabundance of tough-guy testosterone coursing through Trump’s cabinet had reached its peak, there’s a proverbial new sheriff in town. His name is Markwayne Mullin, an undefeated MMA fighter, amateur warrior, Senate brawler, and now, the new Secretary of Homeland Security.

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A Barbie doll at DHS has been replaced with a G.I. Joe figurine. While a glammed-up Kristi Noem galloped on horses through Mt. Rushmore and shot her dog, Mullin will be wrapped in camouflage, stalking the Texas Hill Country, shooting a white-tailed baby doe between the eyes.

The man who had to be physically restrained by Bernie Sanders from attacking a union president across a Senate hearing table now controls ICE, the TSA, FEMA, and the machinery of immigration enforcement for an entire nation.

Related: Watch Bernie Sanders Stop a Republican Senator From Fighting a Union Leader

A job that demands an abundance of decorum will now be held by an angry man on a high dose of dexamethasone. If you thought Greg Bovino was bad, wait until Mullin starts his own social media cowboy stories.

But Mullin will have to contend with another desperado, a grousing gunslinger who makes narcissistic workout videos with the troops and bench presses 315 pounds.

Pete Hegseth bills himself as a “warrior” with a “warrior ethos” and preaches about killing the enemy, men killing men, and innocent civilians along the way. He entered the Pentagon talking about blood and battle and making the military “lethal again,” as if its problem had ever been insufficient ferocity rather than a Defense Secretary who put war plans on an open-source message app.

It will be a battle of the ages: Many-MMA Mullin versus Popeye-arms Pete.

Mullin thirsts for warrior pursuits like Hegseth. He’s told colleagues he’s been to war zones and “smelled” combat, a claim so sensational that senators from both parties demanded classified briefings because he couldn’t explain a secret overseas trip he apparently took while in the House.

He said in his confirmation hearing that he’s “not scared of a challenge.” He talks like a man who measures his worth in the number of people he could theoretically knock out, punch in the face, or throw down.

His spat with Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, who voted against Mullin’s confirmation, is classic. Paul worried about Mullin’s “anger issues,” asking aloud at the hearing whether someone who threatened to fight a witness at a Senate hearing could be trusted to model appropriate behavior for ICE and Border Patrol agents already trigger-happy enough.

In a now-famous November 2023 Senate hearing, Mullin looked at Teamsters president Sean O’Brien and told him to “stand your butt up.” He then began to rise from his chair to physically fight a witness before being ordered, like a misbehaving child, by Sanders to sit back down.

Theoretically, the answer to our immigration problem might lie with Mullin. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to send him to the border by his lonesome, where he could spend his days thumping migrants. If you listen to Mullin, he sounds more ominous than an ICE agent.

The man relies on the instinct of using his bare hands to squash a problem. Now imagine those instincts in the hands of someone who commands tens of thousands of armed federal agents.

If this sounds familiar, it’s because he barks hypermasculinity the same way Hegseth does. Methinks they are brothers from other mothers. They both share a willingness to throw a punch, to “go kinetic,” as the defense bros say, to project physical dominance as if this is leadership.

And here’s something else they have in common: their hypocritical Christianity. They invoke religion for political gain but discard it in their personal and professional conduct. Hegseth frames warfare in biblical terms, which contrasts sharply with his history of adultery and personal scandals.

Mullin mirrors this by positioning himself as a moral guardian while defending Hegseth’s past infidelities and exhibiting a volatile, combative nature that are odds with the Christian principles of humility and peace.

And finally, both are repulsed by the LGBTQ+ community.

When pressed last year about Trump’s cabinet of manifestly unqualified nominees — a Fox News host, an accused sex trafficker, an anti-vaccine conspiracy merchant — Mullin’s response was to pivot immediately to sneering at LGBTQ+ people.

He went on Meet the Press and mocked Admiral and doctor Rachel Levine, referring to her as “Rachel” and taunting her with “whatever pronoun he or she decides to use.”

Related: GOP Sen. Markwayne Mullin attacks Pete Buttigieg & Rachel Levine in defending Trump’s AG pick, Matt Gaetz

He also questioned Pete Buttigieg’s qualifications without offering a single substantive critique about why he was so bad.

And he’s gone against anything and everything that would help the queer community. He voted against the Respect for Marriage Act. He has championed bans on transgender athletes. He has backed federal legislation to define sex as assigned at birth, and on and on and on.

Because this is what a “real man” is apparently supposed to do: punch down on marginalized communities.

We already know what Hegseth thinks of the queer community. If they are going to battle over muscles and bravado, they will surely go to loggerheads over who hates queer people more.

Frankly, I’m exhausted by yet another a-hole ascending to the ranks of Trump’s top advisers. We’ve been watching the antics of these figures, Sean Duffy, Howard Lutnick, Kash Patel, Corey Lewandowski (though he’s on his way out), and, of course, RFK Jr.

Every week brings a new name, a new catastrophe, and a new affront.

While Mullin is no Kristi Noem, a vain grifter who was bad at the job - terrible at her job - he is also no thoughtful or cautious bureaucrat or statesman. He is a man who has spent his entire public life communicating one message of fight: I will fight you. I will fight anyone. I enjoy fighting.

Call it the ultimate test of machismo: Mullin and Hegseth circling each other, flexing for the cameras, each determined to prove he’s the bigger warrior, the louder voice, the more ruthless man.

But while they compete in this grotesque display of vanity and narcissism, America doesn’t look stronger; it looks unhinged, aggressive, and increasingly like it’s being led by men who mistake domination and bawdy bluster for leadership.