Scroll To Top

The magic of
being gay

The magic of
being gay


For this author, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire can be read as an allegory for gay men who need to claim their own gift and learn how to give back to a sometimes hostile society

Like Harry Potter, a wizard living in a world of Muggles, we as gay men need to connect with and live our gift. Harry existed for years in a world that was foreign to him, not realizing the gift he had to offer. He had a sense that he was different, but he didn't know exactly how or why. Luckily, a large hairy man came to the rescue, caring him off to be trained. Like Dorothy in Oz, Harry learned to tap his newfound gift. But Harry's power was not in his shoes; it was central to his being.

Gay men have a gift, just like Harry and his follow wizards. And like Harry in his youth, we haven't known or claimed that gift, and we certainly haven't been appreciated by society. Unlike Harry, we've been on our own, without a Hogwarts School of Magic to attend--without Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid to guide us. We've grown up in a world that doesn't understand us or acknowledge our value. At some level, we've each lived on our own Privet Drive of nonacceptance. And to make matters worse, there are Death Eaters out there who want to suck the life out of us.

It's important for us to clarify the value we bring--it's important for us as individuals, and it's important for society. But we're behind. We need the equivalent of an intensive course at Hogwarts. We need to connect deeply with the magic of being gay. The clearer we are about who we are and what we have to offer through the filter of being gay, the more satisfying our lives will be and the more benefit we will bring to society. Like alchemists we need to boil away the superfluous elements in the petri dish, to find the essence of our gift.

I wrote a previous article on "The Gift of Being Gay," published here in August. I received over 50 e-mails from readers around the United States and in foreign countries agreeing that gay men have a unique gift to offer. Based on this feedback and other research, I've identified a list of attributes as a starting place in clarifying our gift.

1) Caring. We have a deep sense of caring--including, but not limited to, caring for people.

2) Interpersonal sensitivity. We have an awareness of others and their feelings, and we know how to respond effectively.

3) Aesthetics. We have a sense of beauty and style as well as an ability to manifest beauty and style in the world.

4) Creativity. We see things from a different perspective and have an ability to respond creatively given those different perspectives.

Of course, not all gay men manifest these qualities equally or even in ways we would recognize. We're all different, based on genetics and social conditioning. We also may not recognize these attributes in ourselves--like living in the forest and not seeing the trees. But at the core we all have some degree of each of these attributes upon which to draw. We need to embrace these elements of our gift and live them more fully.

And what about other queer groups? What is the gift of being lesbian or bisexual or transgender? What gifts do they have to offer? We've all been sidetracked on Privet Drive to some extent, either never connecting with or losing touch with our gift. It's critical now for all LGBT people to reclaim the value we have to offer!

Please let me know what you think. What are the gifts we bring as gay men, as lesbians, as bisexuals, as transgenders? How do we draw upon them more fully, both for us personally and for society as a whole? You can contact me at

30 Years of Out100Out / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff & Wayne Brady

From our Sponsors

Most Popular

Latest Stories

Rick Evans