Stella Maxwell
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17 Tips for Being a Better Top

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1. Have an anatomy lesson.

A boy butt is so much more than a hole you stick stuff into. Good bottoms know this. Many tops do not.

Many guys envision the butt as a tight, squishy chute — an organic masturbation sleeve. But the ass is more of a tight, squishy chamber with dimensions and curvatures that vary slightly from man to man. There is a definite curve to it, and the first chamber leads to another chamber, which leads to the small intestine.

You probably know about the prostate, that hard little walnut halfway inside the ass that will be above or below your dick, depending on whether you’re fucking doggy-style or missionary, and which feels amazing when rubbed. But there’s more!

There is a bladder down there that you cannot ignore — feeling the need to pee halfway through sex is very common — and there is a very strong muscle called the anal spinchter, a circular muscle at the base of the colon (the “hole”) that clenches tight for most of our lives and opens and relaxes when we poop and when we take a dick.

The anal spinchter is one of the strongest muscles in the human body, and it will present the biggest challenge for new bottoms, as learning to relax this muscle on command takes practice.

There is lot down there, and a good lesson about how it all works, along with a general primer on how the body processes food and what triggers the digestion process, will help you navigate it better. Updating your mental list of bowel movement stimulants — drugs, coffee, the act of eating — will keep you aware of butt mechanics. Knowing where your dick is going is important.

The guy you are fucking is more aware of all this stuff than you are, because it’s his body, and he has probably cleaned out beforehand and has a clock running in his head of how long it will be before he might have to clean again.

Get on his level. Learn some anatomy.

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