Scroll To Top

Op-ed: Girl Meets Girl, Girl Gets Pregnant

Op-ed: Girl Meets Girl, Girl Gets Pregnant


A bisexual mother-to-be finds the right partner to bring their first child into the world.

For LGBT Fertility Week, is sharing a series of articles and essays about LGBT parenting with The Advocate.Click here for the original post.

I have been attracted to both men and women for as long as I can remember. I am drawn to a person's personality and energy -- to me, it is less about whether they are male or female. I always knew I wanted to become a mother, but I wasn't sure whether or not that would be with a man or a woman. It didn't really matter -- although the logistics would certainly be easier with a male partner! I figured I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

I spent my early 20s in a number of different short-term relationships with various men and women. Then in my early 30s I met Wes. It was like "va-voom" -- I actually fell in love for the first time in my life. My family really liked him as well. I'm sure my parents were relieved that I was over that "stage" in my life when I was attracted to women, and that I was finally settling down in a monogamous "hetero" relationship. All our friends were having kids and I thought Wes would be a great dad. So we stopped using birth control. Nothing happened. Six months, nine months, a year later, we still weren't pregnant. I wanted to see a fertility doctor, but Wes wasn't interested. No wonder -- it turns out he was cheating on me and having an affair with another woman.

I was devastated -- especially when I found out he ended up getting her pregnant!

For the next few years I kept myself safe and didn't get involved with anyone. Then I met Lindsay. She seemed like an angel sent from the universe to help me heal my wounded soul and build a beautiful life together. We both love travel, wine, good food, and dogs. We moved in together a few months after we met and got two puppies -- Rosie and Riley.

I guess because I was now in a lesbian relationship my friends and family gave up on the idea of me having kids. Little did they know that Lindsay and I both wanted to be parents -- but Lindsay had no interest in being pregnant and the thought of childbirth terrified her.

That meant if we were going to have a family it would have to be me having the babies. But since I didn't get pregnant with Wes and he fathered a child with another woman, we didn't know if it was even possible for me to get pregnant. So I went through a bunch of medical tests and some minor surgery. Then we had to see a counselor and pick a sperm donor.

We decided to go with an open-identity, anonymous donor in case our kids wanted to find out more information about their roots when they are older. It took a while, but I finally got pregnant after my fourth insemination. I'm now eight months pregnant and we're waiting to meet our little girl. It might have been easier to have had a family with Wes, but what a mistake that would have been! Lindsay is going to be a fabulous mother, and I know that our daughter is going to be truly blessed to have two moms who will love her to bits.

Advocate Magazine - KehlaniAdvocate Channel Promotion

From our Sponsors

Most Popular

Be sure to follow Advocate on your favorite social platforms!


Want more news, top stories, and videos? Check out the all NEW Advocate Channel!
Your 24/7 streaming source for equality news and lifestyle trends.
Click this link right now:

Latest Stories