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Outspoken: Jude
Lizama

Outspoken: Jude
Lizama

Jude_lizama

Ever since I realized I was gay at age 14, I wanted to confide in my twin brother, Jacob. But fear got the best of me, so I spent years thinking, Maybe he will just catch me in the act someday.

We attended Lakes High School in Washington State. During my senior year I finally found my first boyfriend. He was everything I wanted: He was tall, athletic, smart, funny, caring, and he had a nice butt.

I fall deeply in love, but we broke up after only a year. After that he decided he would come out to his family and everyone else. I thought maybe it was time to do the same.

Jacob and I both work for a company that screens videos for pro sports teams. One night at work Jacob was looking through text messages on my cell phone and found some I had sent to my ex-boyfriend. He asked our boss, Bridgette--who happens to be bisexual--if I was gay. Then he started telling others he thought I was gay. That was it. I was done hiding. As my twin brother, Jacob should have been the first to know.

So I told him my whole gay life story. I told him I knew I was gay ever since the eighth grade. I told him about the first guy I had sex with. I told him about my recent breakup and how that had hurt me. I told him everything. He was shocked and said I wasn't gay. He thought I was confused. As my twin brother, he argued, "I would have felt it." He even thought about jumping out of the car one day while we were driving down the freeway.

Around that time we both started a sociology class at Highline Community College. Our teacher turned out to be gay. We got to know him very well, and he helped Jacob come to realize and understand who I am. Now Jacob helps me look for guys, and we poke fun at my being gay. It has only been about four months since I told him, so I think we are doing great. It's awesome!

Advocate Magazine - KehlaniAdvocate Magazine - Gus Kenworthy

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