As queer adult women, we tend to look back over our lives and think about things that made us stand out from other kids, offering a glimpse into the utterly fabulous life we would one day embrace. No matter if the things were obvious or subtle, the one question we still ask ourselves is: “How did my parent(s) not know I was gay?”
We asked some queer lady friends about their experiences growing up gay and bi and asked them to pinpoint what they thought were the obvious clues their families should have picked up on:
1. Dressed to Bawl: For as long as I can remember, my only interest in the opposite sex was how can I beat them athletically. My male cousins always included me in all of their soccer and hockey games, and they treated me as an equal because I could keep up with them. I was obsessed with sports, playing everything I could try all of the time. Plus I was always the one wearing baseball caps or crying when I thought my mother would make me wear a dress. —Laura F.
What I really wanted was a cassette player, a new basketball and a Nintendo game. My mom told me that Christmas, "If I wanted another boy, I would have had one." Nice, Mom. —Rachel
6. No Bikini?: A couple of months ago, my mom shared with me a bunch of old family photos I'd never seen before, including this one from Vietnam when I was 4. I thought it captured a sweet, candid moment of my dad and I on the beach, but I had to ask: "Mom, why'd you dress me like that?" With a bit of side-eye, she said, "I didn't. You picked out that outfit." —Kim B.