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Our Moms Should Have Known: 24 Women Share Their Queer Giveaways

Our Moms Should Have Known: 24 Women Share Their Queer Giveaways

As queer adult women, we tend to look back over our lives and think about things that made us stand out from other kids, offering a glimpse into the utterly fabulous life we would one day embrace. No matter if the things were obvious or subtle, the one question we still ask ourselves is: “How did my parent(s) not know I was gay?”

We asked some queer lady friends about their experiences growing up gay and bi and asked them to pinpoint what they thought were the obvious clues their families should have picked up on:

1. Dressed to Bawl: For as long as I can remember, my only interest in the opposite sex was how can I beat them athletically. My male cousins always included me in all of their soccer and hockey games, and they treated me as an equal because I could keep up with them. I was obsessed with sports, playing everything I could try all of the time. Plus I was always the one wearing baseball caps or crying when I thought my mother would make me wear a dress. —Laura F.

Brittany 0
2. Straight Girls Make Out With Other Girls, Right?: My dad should've known I was gay because I was the only girl on my baseball team. Additionally, I was obsessed with my older sister's friends and would always dare them to kiss me. Memories. —Brittany

Rachel 0
3. Caboodles Are the Worst: One Christmas when I was around 10, my mother bought me long johns that had roses on them, a hot pink "caboodle" (plastic jewelry box), and a doll that had a dress. ... I just about threw up! I was so emotionally distraught, I told my mom it was the worst Christmas I ever had. 

What I really wanted was a cassette player, a new basketball and a Nintendo game. My mom told me that Christmas, "If I wanted another boy, I would have had one." Nice, Mom. —Rachel

Natalie 0
4. Gay or Pregnant: My parents were old-school Italian and completely clueless to my sexuality. When I said I had something I wanted to talk to them about (that I’m gay), they immediately thought I was pregnant. —Natalie

Noelle 0
5. Lesbians and Boyfriends: I surprised myself and my family. I had a boyfriend in high school. We broke up before college. I had never thought I was into girls until my new college "friend" at the time made out with me at her dorm. After that night it all made sense. —Noelle

6. No Bikini?: A couple of months ago, my mom shared with me a bunch of old family photos I'd never seen before, including this one from Vietnam when I was 4. I thought it captured a sweet, candid moment of my dad and I on the beach, but I had to ask: "Mom, why'd you dress me like that?" With a bit of side-eye, she said, "I didn't. You picked out that outfit." —Kim B.


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