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TBT: Rituals of Male Grooming

TBT: Rituals of Male Grooming


Shaving, body odor, and funny itches down there have thrust the masculine form into the public's face in a century of advertising.

The male body is a funny thing. It sprouts hair in a variety of places that, depending on the culture of the times, needs to be shorn, slicked, or plucked. Hair on the head needs to be constantly wrangled and coiffed. Then there is the issue about the way men smell. Below, a collection of recommendations for a plague of grooming issues.

Looks like the boys found another use for Vaseline.

1924-deodorantx633_0Is your remarkable personality imprisoned ... by sweat?

Trolx633_0 Trol has a he-man fragrance. And luscious red lips.

Burley-old-spice-1969x633_0 Wearing Mom's sweater will not make a man out of your either.

Perfectforhacingyourfamilytodeathx633_0 Perfect for a close shave. .. and hacking your family to death.

Gaymansx633_0 Double edge and double entendre.

African-American history for your afro.

Bvd_cowboyshavingx633_0 Yes, an underwear ad, but chock-full of semiotics of male anxiety. He not only needs a cowboy hat to shave in, but a straight-edged razor.

Cologne_phallicsx633_0 And speaking of symbols...

Jock_itchx633_0 Just exactly what are "other groin irritations"?

Add more pouf.

Warholx633_0 Control your wig.

Sopranosx633_0 The Cruella De Vil Collection for Men(c).

Lifeboy_box633_0 The coach will be giving armpit sniff inspections later for all interested students.

After he finishes up here, Dad will show you about the benefits of a Brazilian.

Lifebuoy-shaving-creamx633_0 PTSD (post-traumatic shaving disorder) has been known to affect men in the naval service by sending them into a highly manic state.

Madnessofshavingx633_0 PTSD, big time.

Old_age_barbed_wirex633_0Above left: Maybe it's time to just get used to scruff. Above right: Walter Matthau's secretary has boundary issues.

Hair_compilationx633_0Hair: So many heartbreaking possibilities.

Ahoy_spice_mateyx633_0Must we call it Old Spice? Can't we just call it Spice? I'm feeling sensitive about the whole age thing.

Will_i_have_whiskers_dadx633_0Yes, son. When you grow up you too can scrape a sharp piece of metal across your face every day. It makes a man out of you!

If you skip past everything in this sad article, please, dear Lord, I beg you, watch this.

Oldspicex633_0 Mother once told me that men were "all hands."

60s-mennens-speedstickx633_0 Nothing funny here. Nope, not one thing funny at all.

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