Tom Daley
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'Woke Christmas' Is the Holiday Parody You Need Right Now

Woke Christmas

‘Tis the season for Christmas carols. Even if you are the type of person who doesn’t actively seek out Christmas music, you’re going to hear it in malls, and Ubers, and commercials. And while holiday tunes run the gamut from lovely to annoying (looking at you, Chipmunks' "Hula Hoop" song), they can also tend to be a little old-fashioned.

Fortunately, the lovely and brilliant comic Carla Valderrama has rewritten the lyrics to a holiday staple, “White Christmas.” Prepare to enjoy “Woke Christmas,” the song you’ll be turning up to drown out your conservative neighbors’ playlist of disturbing classics like “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”

In the song, posted this week on YouTube, Valderrama takes on social issues of our time, from the Dakota Access Pipeline, to the Black Lives Matter movement, to Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson playing roles that should have gone to actors of Asian descent.

The video is full of delightful Easter eggs, including a bouncing karaoke ball that is actually a black Santa head. “I’m dreaming of a woke Christmas,” she sings. “With every bathroom law I fight. And with every hashtag I write, and may this year’s Oscars be less white.”

“I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of all the racial and social injustice that was happening,” Valderrama said in an interview with The Advocate. “On Halloween night I was at the mall and the stores were setting up for Christmas. I decided I wanted to write a Christmas song that addressed all of the things people were feeling. ‘White Christmas’ is the most popular Christmas song and every year I put it on blast all day. This year I didn't want that. I didn't want a ‘White Christmas.’ I wanted something to remind people that there is more than one reality to life in this country. I wanted a ‘Woke Christmas.’"

“On election night I bawled my eyes out. I was in utter disbelief. I couldn't believe what had happened. I still can't believe it! But that night I started emailing people to record the song.”

Valderrama says her next project is top secret, but expect a Valentine’s Day song from her as well. “I want to ruin every holiday,” she says with a wink. We can’t wait.

Watch "Woke Christmas" below.

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