Update: This article originally appeared before the November presidential election. It's been updated to reflect a second Trump administration.
Donald Trump's second term is upon us.
Maybe you've had your eyes on the pundits debating what happened in the November election that saw Vice President Kamala Harris lose and former president Donald Trump win again. Maybe you've been anxiously refreshing your tabs to check for updates about what Trump had planned. Maybe those "few" have turned into a few dozen.
Melissa Miller, a licensed psychotherapist at FOLX Health who specializes in mood disorders, substance use disorders, and trauma spoke to The Advocate before the election about queer people's mental health leading up to November 5. While her responses were about the election, many of these tips can still help today.
"In today's age, we're overloaded and overstimulated by both social media and traditional media outlets," Miller told The Advocate around election time. "There is no shortage of information or misinformation coming at us, which really triggers stress and anxiety."
Here are a few tips to help you drown out the noise and focus on your mental health during unprecedented times.
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Ignoring or denying your feelings won't help — in fact, Miller suggests that it may ultimately make you feel worse. This is particularly important for "minority communities like the LGBTQ community," who already face disproportionate levels of stress. The elections are a "valid source of stress," Miller says, "and it's important that first we acknowledge it."
"The first step is to start acknowledging and naming that stress and anxiety," she says. "Understanding the impact and presence of those symptoms really helps to allow yourself to create space and time to process emotion and election stress."
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When you're "overly consumed with social media and news media," it's time to "take inventory of where you're spending your time." Miller suggests shifting to activities that don't require screens, such as "reading, crocheting, getting outside in nature." This can help to "really limit the exposure to some triggering materials and information."
While it may be easier said than done, Miller notes that "self care is like any other skill in our lives: it takes practice."
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Because "seeking and building community, [and] having like-minded people around us can feel connective and supportive," Miller also suggests "scheduling time to connect with friends" offline, preferably in settings away from screens.
It's best for your well-being if these people share similar values. This is not to say you should keep yourself in an echo chamber, but Miller notes that "interactions with friends and family" have become a "big hot topic in the therapy we're doing around election stress" due to the role loved ones can play in causing stress.
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If your loved ones are stressing you out with their contentious comments or even just their desire to talk politics, Miller says it's important to "set limits and boundaries." It's about "saying to whoever is provoking those conversations that it's not a topic that you feel comfortable talking about."
"We can love our friends and not always share the same political views or values," she says. "So, it's about remembering that and reminding those around us that our emotional well-being and health comes first, and engaging in those types of conversations today isn't as helpful as it can be."
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As physical health is inexorably linked to mental health, Miller emphasizes that "you have to eat nutritiously, you have to stay hydrated, get outside in nature, take a 10 minute walk if you can."
She also recommends breathing exercises not only in moments of stress, but on a regular basis. One example is diaphragmatic breathing, as it "helps to support reducing stimulus in the central nervous system, which is highly correlated with anxiety and stress eating."
"The more that we practice things like meditation and mindful breathing, it's a skill or a muscle that builds up," Miller explains. "Building up that skill could really provide some in-the-moment relief, which is what it's really about — coping in the moment, getting by day-by-day."
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There are some stressors we can't avoid, like anti-trans attack ads during our favorite shows and sports games. While walking away or muting your television is always an option, Miller says people should also try to "reinvest in themselves and give themselves a mindful moment."
"Sometimes that stuff, it just pops up. And you need to still engage in things that you enjoy, such as watching sports and your favorite television show or whatever it be," she says. "When those triggering things come up, I often remind clients to use that moment as an opportunity."
Miller recommends repeating a mantra — for stressors like the ads, she gives examples such as "I am safe" or "This is meant to upset me." She explains that "something that edges in the reality of what's happening helps to shift the triggering anxiety into more of a feeling of empowerment."
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While we can't control what happens around us, we can control how we react to it. Or, as Miller says, "we can't control what comes across our screens or our media, messaging, billboards and such, but we can control how we let that affect us and what we do with that."
"I really encourage people to center themselves around what they can control," she says. "Oftentimes things like your reaction, how you manage your feelings, what you do or don't do, how you ask for support, how you spend your time, what you consume — those areas are within the center of control."
"It comes down to challenging some of the mindsets that come up," Miller adds. "It's natural to be pissed off and fearful and defensive. It's about accepting that and finding a way to challenge that, or to release that so it doesn't eat you from the inside."
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Just because you don't have the platform of a billboard, commercial, or pundit doesn't mean that you're powerless. You have your vote, Miller reminds, as well as your money, time, and voice.
"I encourage my clients, if they're in a safe and comfortable space, to find opportunities to advocate on relevant issues," she says. "Volunteering for important causes or donating within your means can really increase a sense of empowerment and contribution, which I think definitely is helpful during this time."
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While it's important to rely on your loved ones, it's also critical to foster new connections. For LGBTQ+ people, this is particularly relevant as the community comes under attack through politicians and legislation.
"Connect with your community, build that support group, get around like-minded people. Reach out, express your fears, express your anxieties," Miller says. "When we keep our feelings inside, they tend to compound on top of each other. When we acknowledge and accept them, and we express them in a way that feels releasing and relieving, we tend to be a little bit more regulated.
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Even in the event of a "worst case scenario," all hope is not lost. Miller says that "coming together with community and allies, being around like-minded people, and finding ways to contribute to the cause and advocate will be really empowering, and help us turn that fear into purpose and meaning."
While rights may be at stake, Miller reminds that LGBTQ+ people have always existed — and they've always persisted.
"It's important to note that trans and queer people have always been around, and we have faced years of discrimination and stigma," she says. "My deepest hope is that we grow even stronger in the trans and queer community and our sense of advocacy, connection, and support."
